Save the date

I don’t even think the Facebook group would be necessary. It’s definitely too early for save the dates. My wedding is 9/2022 and I haven’t even ordered mine yet. Plus the guest list could totally change in the next 2 years. Honestly just word of mouth to the important people is totally fine. That’s what we did.

I agree that it's wayyy too early to send out save the dates, you have over 2 years for the countdown. I personally wouldn't do a Facebook group yet either since it's so far away, but if you want to it won't hurt anything!

I agree with you, don’t send save the dates this far out. There are so many posts on here about the guest list changing after STDs went out, and then people having to navigate the social implications of not sending a formal invite after. I’d say reach out to those people individually and let them know of your date over phone. That’s my understanding of how it used to work anyway, so your older guests should understand this. Then while you’re on the phone you can get an actual sense of whether that person is willing to travel or not, unlike a save the date which requires no response at all (thus a STD won’t help you or your fiancé get a feel of who may or may not come if you don’t actually call).

View Quoted Comment Exactly! I told my fiancé that std sent out wouldn’t get us an answer anyways. I guess I should have gave more detail that it’s mostly for only family we would 100% sure be inviting, not the entire guest list. We both know there are older members that won’t be able to make it. My fiancé thinks maybe with the notice they may try to plan something or at least tell us now before we plan on them. Other guests are literally in other countries and states so there is a lot of travel involved for at least half the guests including our bridal party and groomsmen. I don’t think STD is a good idea but he was not comfortable with just a phone call, he felt it was kind of cold so I was trying to come up with something not so formal but also not so informal.

Way too early for sure, send save the dates 6-8 months before the wedding, that is plenty of time for people to start planning. Guests list can change in two years and unfortunately people might pass away in that time. Facebook group isn't necessary. I'm getting married October 2022 and I'm not sending save the dates until end of April or beginning of May 2022 - we have some guests who will have a bit of a drive but 6 months and word of mouth is plenty of notice.

View Quoted Comment Can you also send them a handwritten card? That way you don’t have to order an entire batch of STDs. If coldness is the concern, a handwritten card is much warmer than a bulk STD.

I plan on sending my save the dates out 1 year in advance, I know its earlier than recommended but I have several people that would be traveling and I also have several people that have jobs that need that much notice to get the time off approved. They work every other weekend and its usually difficult for them to get the weekend off that they are supposed to work. If they get they save the date early they hopefully will have enough time to get the time off.

Don't send them yet. People will lose them, throw them in the trash, and forget about them. We sent ours 12 months beforehand because my family will have to travel 4+ hours to get here. In your case, 2 hours away isn't that far so I would maybe send them 8 to 10 months in advance. Or just send an email to the ones who will be traveling, and don't bother with everyone who's more local.

View Quoted Comment That’s a great idea! 😍

View Quoted Comment I was leaning more towards sending a save the date a year in advance as well for the same reasons. We have guests that would be coming from Asia and Canada as well as all over the US. Also my brother is active Marine so he needs as much notice as possible. I also think 2 years is too early for save the dates and that’s why I was trying to compromise with my fiancé

View Quoted Comment I should clarify. It’s 2 hours from my house to the venue. Others are traveling to from Asia, Canada, and other states that will be a minimum of 4-5 hours and some an all day plane ride depending on the airfare trip type offered. So it’s more for those people and then the elderly people that would be coming thy at have a hard time traveling or are in wheelchairs. He wants to send STD to everyone I think there has to be an alternative to let just the ones that would have a long travel and difficulty with the distance know now. He wants something more formal or nice and not a cold phone all or text or word of mouth from a family member so I’m trying to find a happy medium.

View Quoted Comment I would say a year should give people enough notice.

Honestly early feelers aren’t at all helpful— some people won’t know yet, some will change minds, some will have circumstance changes, and really it will cause confusion. People don’t check years, people trust tradition more than what is in front of their own eyes (getting a save the date in 9/21 that says 9/23 will get people thinking it was a miss print and you meant 9/22!), so it’s just making things more complicated for yourselves. A year out for save the dates is plenty of time for all to plan around.