Save-the-date/pre-ceremony

I designed my own save the dates using an art program. They really don't need to be complicated at all. The information provided is usually pretty general an includes the couples names, the date, and the city in which the wedding will be. They will also usually say like formal invitation to follow. If they're trying to save money, they could print ones just for the older generation or those they know prefer traditional and send electronic for the rest.

My first question is: Is there a reason why certain people aren't invited? Are they having to cut guest count because of the pandemic, or are they just not wanting to invite some people?

I've never heard of a STD/Pre-Wedding Announcement. I would assume it would be rude to send those not invited to the wedding a wedding announcement that was also serving as a STD.

Maybe wording it as: "We're Getting Married!". For those not invited maybe include a card that says: "Though we wish we could celebrate with everyone...etcetc". ?

I will say that I'm on your side on this one. I wouldn't send a combined STD/Pre announcement to everyone. I think it's better to send a: "We Got Married!" letter to those that they couldn't invite.

Yikes. This does not sound like a good idea and I feel for you having to deal with it! Will the announcement say "save the date" on it? If they really feel like they need to send an announcement (which really are not necessary and somewhat out dated), I don't think it would cost any more to do them separately, order STD and order announcements.

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Budget is the sole reason. The wedding is in Hawaii and of course its expensive so they are capping the number of people in order to not go over budget.

I also thought is might be rude but then again it's not my wedding. LOL I just want to try my best to soften the blow!

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I truly don't want to put Save-The-Date on it because I feel like that's rude! That's why I was reaching out for help with ideas. I'm at a lost! I've been searching Google for hours! Lol

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Oo yea, I can design a Save-The-Date, I'm just at a lost on how to word a combined Save-The-Date and Wedding Announcement.

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I gotcha. Well I wouldn't put 'Save The Date' on them. Especially if it's going out to two different groups of people, those invited, and those not.

I think wording it with the headline: "We're Getting Married!". Is better suited for both groups to receive the same invitation. I would also include a card in there for those not invited and have it say something like: "We wish we could celebrate with everyone, but due to budget constraints...etc.".

Some feelings will get hurt, and that's something that you can't help. If this is the way they want to go about it, then I guess just make it as nice as possible for those that won't be attending.

View Quoted Comment Ah gotcha. In that regard its rude to send a save the date or anything that would basically announce the wedding and then not invite them. I would only send save the dates and to those that can be invited and make sure to keep the guest count at or lower the venues capacity.

There is no way to politely and graciously combine a STD for people invited and a pre-wedding announcement for people not invited. That’s literally going out of your way to make sure people know there is a party they are not invited to. It’s rude and thoughtless on every level. If they feel they need to send something to guests not invited, they should send them an invitation to join them virtually and live stream the wedding ceremony.

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Ok, I like this idea! So I do a basic "We're Getting Married" Announcement and then have two business card size notes (1 for those invited and 1 for those not invited). That sounds that the most inoffensive way to do it! Why didn't I think of that! LOL

Thank You!

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That's a good idea Chrysta!

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I agree! Thank you!

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You're welcome! I'm still team "no STDs for those not invited", but if that's what they want, all you can do is do your best to soften the blow. Feelings are going to get hurt regardless of how nicely it's worded. But yes, two separate notes!

I also like Chrysta's idea about allowing them to participate virtually. That way it still shows that the couple wants them to be a part of it, even if it's virtually.

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I agree, ma'am!

They are interested in having the ceremony live-streamed if the venue is able!

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I hear ya and I'm with ya! I liked her idea as well. They are interested in having the ceremony live-streamed if the venue is able!

View Quoted Comment They should check with their videographer or photographer- they can usually set this up

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Great information. I will check with the photographer. Thank you!

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Awesome, good luck!!

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Thank You, have a great day!

View Quoted Comment I was thinking the same questions as well.