Scared I'm going to pass out at my own wedding

Talk therapy is right for some people. I am not a cognitive psychologist but behavioral therapy can be very effective.

Very good question about the culture... mental disorders are taboo. "You're crazy, or lazy, and using excuses. You're just not trying hard enough. I go through worse things than you, and it never happened to me. I'm raising a kid - you're not raising any kids. You don't know what being tired means. I once heard of a cousin's friend's neighbor who took medication. Psycho meds! Loony meds. So you stress? Don't stress then. It's simple."

These were not said to me directly but they've been implied every step of the way, to me and to my best friend - whose family nearly shunned her when she became severely depressed (she's SO much better now, thankfully). It was only when it happened to me that a couple of my friends opened up and said "You know, it happened to me too". And I had ZERO idea. Because you don't discuss these things.

Edit: I am, however, blessed to be surrounded by people who understand. My fiance doesn't understand it exactly but he supports me 110%. My mother has been through it. My father is like my fiance, doesn't quite get it but will not belittle me for it. He'll support me as best as he can. My friends get it.

My FH grew up in Italy so I have some experience with making adjustments due to culture. I am so sorry. It's not very eloquent but that just sucks. It sucks. It really sucks. It's easy to say don't let it bother you but in reality that is much harder to do.

If your telltale signs are clammy hands, hyperventilation and tingling then you are already in the fight or flight sympathetic response. This is totally treatable and manageable. Have your therapist instruct you in mindfulness (so you can tell when your getting to a 3-4, as opposed to a 9-10 on the anxiety scale) and biofeedback techniques. See my previous post for an app. I have been able to help people completely avoid their panic attacks. However, you have to be motivated to actually do something different. More of the same gives you more of the same...

OP, you took one dose and stopped. Of course it didn't work. You need to let your body adjust to the chemical alteration. For such severe anxiety a low dose benzodiazepine can be incredibly helpful. It may make you feel sorta out of it at first but you need to give it time!!

We're very much like the Italians in that sense, or at least the older generation is. The newer generation is much better. After our financial crisis, a lot of people have anxiety around here - but nobody talks about it. Admitting to it makes you weak, not strong and proud. It's stupid. I'm sorry you had to deal with this sort of culture. It has its positives, but the negatives, like you said, suck.

Silver lining: The reason I'm working myself to the ground is because I'm transitioning between the family business and a new, freelance job which will allow me to work from home and take "me time" whenever I want... but that won't happen until November the earliest, a month after the wedding, and until then I have to concentrate on not going ballistic doing both jobs full time, plus the third, evening job...

Pam, app already downloaded since you suggested it and looking forward to using it!

RATR, thank you for your feedback. Please understand, I can't afford time to get used to anything right now, even if the thought didn't terrify me. If I'm not alert, I risk losing my new job and messing up my current job. I really, really don't want meds, at least not until I've tried everything else there is. If it comes to shove, I'll give it another go. Not Seroxat though, not that.

So just to clear up a few things:

(1) SSRIs take a minimum of 3 weeks to actually work. Minimum. They could take up to 6 weeks. So you didn't get the therapeutic dose.

(2) While @RATR's suggestion of a benzo is good for short-term acute treatment to prevent you from passing out, benzos are not a good long-term alternative. They may not be appropriate for you even in the short term, but if they are, you need a longer term plan and studies show that a combination of therapy (CBT) and medications work best for severe anxiety.

I agree benzos aren't a good idea long term. As a cognitive behavioral addictions therapist, definitely your best option is a combo.

and also SLEEP WOMAN!!

Adding in that extra psychological element makes things difficult. I am happy to hear that you are working towarda adjusting your life to be more conducive to anxiety. I agree with @Elizabeth about medication and cbt.

I think you are doing what you can given the circumstances. You have to put your health first.

I am not a therapist, not that type of psychologist, but I have lived this life. ( I am a experimental /forensic psychologist and dabbling in psychopharmacology.) Listen to the ladies here that are therapists. They only want to help you, like myself.

Stay strong.

Ok, question please: what if I look into short term relief medication as a last resort (it might even help knowing that I have a pill with me on that given day, will make me feel less helpless) and leave long-term for after I'm transitioned at work, again if things aren't better by then? By then I'll be settled in my new job and will have time to adjust at home...

First off, I am so sorry you are going through this. I have had several anxiety attacks over the years and tend to be an anxious person all around, so I commiserate with your situation.

Have you tried Spire? My FH got me one for Christmas and it really has helped. It's a personal monitoring device that lets you know when you are getting anxious/stressed (usually well before I even realize it) so that you can be mindful. The app linked to it also gives you breathing/meditation techniques to help ease out of these situations.

And a more unconventional approach: hypnosis? I'm the type that will try anything, so you never know!

@Spirit ask your doctor if you're interested in short-term options. It would be irresponsible for anyone here to tell you whether or not it's appropriate for you. Only your doctor can tell you as he/she will be the one prescribing short-term meds. Just so you know though, some prescribers won't prescribe that particular class of meds unless you have a long-term plan set up. Again, talk to your doctor.

^That

I want to thank each and every one of you who replied. Got some great feedback, cleared up some misconceptions and feeling slightly more in control now. I have to try and sleep, it's 4:30am here.

Again, thank you for taking the time to talk to me, thank you xxx

Edit: Will talk to my doctor. So far I've been shooting her down whenever she suggested meds. I'll do that on Monday when my appointment is.

I used meds, I'm normally pretty easy going but when it's a group of 10 or more I'm kinda freaking out so I took meds. And yes you need to talk to your dr, when I'm not on my meds I have to really pay attention to myself because I can become too quite and then emotional.

I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with this. There are a lot of great suggestions on here. As a therapist, I highly recommend a CBT approach for anxiety disorders. CBT essentially teaches you to "be your own therapist" over time. These days, there are so many great apps that can aid with that as well. In addition to the ones already mentioned, try Stop, Breathe, & Think, Breathe 2 Relax, and Mindfulness Coach. The relaxation strategies taught through those apps would honestly be good for any bride on her wedding day

Best wishes!!!

I have vasovagal syncope, op, which is a fancy name for saying, "sometimes I pass out but the doctors really have no idea why after extensive testing."

It's only happened a handful of times in my life, usually when I've been really hot and haven't eaten, and have been standing for a long period of time. The last time it happened was actually during a dress fitting!

It sucks. I highly recommend making sure you get plenty of sleep the night before your wedding, even if you have to go to bed early and take a prescribed sleeping pill, eat throughout the day before the ceremony, and work on relaxation techniques to help calm your anxiety throughout the day.

So I'm not a doctor or anything but I do have experience with taking different medications for mental health issues. SSRIs certainly take a long time to kick-in, that being said, in my experience you quickly know (like a week in) if it's turning you into someone who is not yourself. I would advocate giving it another go round with something different.

Also, a quick googling turned up a Mayo Clinic article that said that in some cases blood pressure medicine can help--could be something to look into. Also maybe physical therapy to help with blood pooling in leg? And diet.

Lastly, sleep! Not sure if anyone has mentioned this but Trazodone is an SSRI that helps with sleep and might be something to look into! Just take it at night as a sleeping aid.

If you get really sick, are you able to take a few days off work? If yes, then you might consider taking some timeoff next to a weekend so you have a stretch of several days, and starting the medicine then.