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Shaylyn
Savvy October 2020

Second guessing second wedding

Shaylyn, on January 18, 2021 at 10:00 PM Posted in Planning 0 16
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Hi everyone! My husband and I got married in our original wedding date- 10/2/20. We had the ceremony at a park and the reception in our backyard. We celebrated with our wedding party and close family and it was (surprisingly) the best day ever!!


With the pandemic ruining our original wedding plans, I really didn’t think that our backyard wedding was going to be “enough”, so we postponed our big reception to October 2021. With how well our actual wedding day went, I’ve been considering cancelling the bigger celebration. A part of me feels like our wedding turned out exactly how I wanted it to be and I don’t want to re-do it. I also think about all the money we’ll save by not having our wedding re-do in 2021- not to mention the family drama we’ll avoid.
Another part of me worries that I’ll have regrets about not following through with the bigger celebration that includes our friends and family who weren’t able to be at our smaller wedding.
Is anyone else debating whether or not to follow through with their “re-do weddings”?

16 Comments

Latest activity by Victoria, on January 19, 2021 at 12:25 PM
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Congratulations on your marriage! To be honest, I think most people who had to downsize their weddings because of covid are doing the large reception later because they didn’t get to have the feeling you are describing on their actual wedding day. From what you have said, it sounds like you had the perfect wedding for you- even though it wasn’t what you had originally planned. If you are content with your wedding day, I think it makes perfect sense to save your money and not have a “redo” of a day that doesn’t need redone! Besides, if you ever decide you want to celebrate with family and friends who were not there, you could always plan a big 5 year vow renewal celebration!
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  • Shaylyn
    Savvy October 2020
    Shaylyn ·
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    Thanks Chrysta! I was thinking we could do a vow renewal in the future too. I really want to celebrate with friends who couldn’t be at the “real” wedding- but not when it’s going to cost an additional $10k 😩 It’s a tough decision, but I appreciate your feedback!
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Your backyard wedding sounds stunning and just as special compared to a big wedding. Consider writing a pros and cons list. Really think about if you actually want a big celebration or do you feel pressured to have one by societal expectations.
    Did you ever share a BAM with your intimate wedding?
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  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
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    So, our small wedding was absolutely magical and we cancelled our huge celebration immediately when we got back! We felt there was absolutely no need for it. Okay, so some friends and family weren’t there, but such is life- the most important pieces were there (him and I)! I’m sure they could care less. I definitely don’t care about missing anyone else’s wedding lol at the end of the day, it’s up to you two!
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  • Sharonda
    Super January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    My Plan B, modified COVID wedding (20 people) was absolutely amazing!! While we had considered a big reception later, we decided not to do that. Instead, we plan to host a “I Do” BBQ/watch party (once CoVID calms down) to watch our wedding video with those friends and family who did not attend the wedding and share the magic of that day with everyone.
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  • Shaylyn
    Savvy October 2020
    Shaylyn ·
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    Thank you! A pro/con list sounds like a great idea. What’s a BAM?
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  • Shaylyn
    Savvy October 2020
    Shaylyn ·
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    I love the idea of an I do BBQ! I’ll have to talk with my husband about that.
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  • Virginia
    Super June 2021
    Virginia ·
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    I wish we could just cancel. Our wedding got canceled 10 days before and all final payments had been made. We have since rescheduled 3 times and cannot get a refund.

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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    My husband and I are currently going through the same thing. We did a minimony with 35 guests in October and our big celebration was scheduled for March 2021. Unfortunately because covid is still bad, that has been cancelled. We are not in the process of rescheduling (probably for October 2021) but part of me doesn't want to reschedule now. Literally the only reason that we are rescheduling is because I didn't wear my big dress or veil for the minimony and my bridesmaids already purchased their dresses. So I don't want everyone to waste their money.

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  • Shaylyn
    Savvy October 2020
    Shaylyn ·
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    Ugh Virginia that sounds like a nightmare. I’m sorry you’re going through that and hope your wedding can finally take place as planned this time.
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  • Shaylyn
    Savvy October 2020
    Shaylyn ·
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    Part of the reason I’m considering still having the bigger reception is so my bridesmaids can wear their dresses too. I really love their dresses, and they were a lot of money, I want pictures with them!
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I think you should trust yourself. Your wedding sounds like it was perfect for you and there's no reason to think you will have regrets later if you don't have a second celebration. If you do find yourself wishing you could have a bigger party with more guests at some point, there is nothing stopping you from planning an anniversary party.

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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I definitely understand the position that you are in! My husband and I decided that we won't be as extravagant as we planned before because now we just feel its unnecessary. Kind've a gift that our March wedding was postponed because now we don't want to spend nearly as much as we originally planned to.

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  • Sharonda
    Super January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    Even without a second reception, you can still have the pictures. I saw someone on this site suggest a staged, over the top photo shoot for the wedding party, followed a formal dinner and bar hop/dancing with the wedding party. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea!
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  • Victoria
    Devoted June 2021
    Victoria ·
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    Oh wow, that just sounds like a headache and I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all that trouble! I really hope it all works out and is a beautiful day for you!

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  • Victoria
    Devoted June 2021
    Victoria ·
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    Hi!

    My older sister had a micro wedding that was held at the courthouse and then a little reception at our parents' house. She is also planning on having a large wedding in October but she describes her feeling as not being that excited because she's been there and done that. On the bright side, her loved ones get to come together and celebrate their one year anniversary. I can see how there can be mixed 3emotions and yes costs can really be heafty! I hope it all works out for you!

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