Second Thoughts on Kids...

Sometimes being around other people's kids can burn you out on the thought of them all together. That happens to me with my 5 and 7 year old nieces. They are a HANDFUL. I for sure want kids in the future, but if I've been around them recently, I totally reevaluate. I think it's pretty normal! And if you decide you don't want them altogether, that's totally ok too!

I'm with you. FH and I actually always said we wouldn't have kids for the last 6 years. It's normal. Our generation is definitely going through a shift of emotion, at least in the sense that it's being talked about and analyzed more. Some people feel it's their purpose to have a family, and some people, like me, don't see kids as a value add and prefer to focus on my FH and my life together.

A lot of people have said "isn't that selfish?" but I believe to each their own!

As far as going through that feeling, I was recently on a plane and had a 1-2 year old next to me grabbing at me the entire flight - yes. That feeling was uncomfortable and the entire time the thought "definitely standing by my decision not to have any of these little guys" ran through my head.

All kids are different, first of all. Maybe try spending time around other children and other age groups before you jump to any conclusions. Also, 2 and 4? Those ages are hard and exhausting. I have two kids and two stepkids. I love them all! I'm in no hurry to babysit a 2 and 4 year old though lol. No thank you! Also, plenty of people love THEIR kids, but aren't crazy kid people in general and don't get super gushy over other people's kids. Doesn't mean they don't love their own babies. However if you do decide you don't want kids, that's 100% ok and you should be upfront about it with your DH.

I hate most kids. I think they're super annoying and I dont understand wanting to give up personal freedom for them.

However, I do like my cousin's kids..in short bursts. I like babies. Ages 4-9 annoy the crap out of me.

I'm on the fence too..I feel like its probably different if they're yours.

I definitely think being around other people's kids is different than your own! I love my kid but I could not babysit anyone else's kids or I would feel the same.

@JSARGE Yea, I'd never babysat before in my life (I was a punkass in middle and high school so nobody wanted their kids near me). And they have lots of food allergies... and their mother's parenting style is not one that I would personally employ, so I found myself having to do the opposite of what my gut tells me in regards to managing bad behavior (4-year-old wants something, his mom says no, he WHINES, UGH HOW HE WHINES, she gives in and gives it to him). So yea... he always gets what he wants and that drives me nuts, but you can't tell people how to raise their kids.

I really don't want to babysit them again so soon... but that makes me feel a lot better.

I'm totally with you. I literally can't stand kids 99.9% of the time and have never wanted kids. Ask me to create a name for one? I'm really good at that.

Once I fell in love with my FH, I knew he'd be the perfect father. And I still know that. But neither of us are in a place in our lives to have kids, and neither of us want that right now. We are both okay if we never have kids, but he and I go through phases. Just make sure you and FH are on the same page about that. Don't be so hard on yourself, you'll see so many of us feel the same as you!

Also I agree with @TRJessie haha

I like some kids, and can't stand others. lmfao

I didn't want anything to do with children since my mother made me watch my 2-year-old cousin when I was 14-years-old on MY spring break. I loved that kid, but she made me want to rip my uterus out. My mother saw it as a win - she did that on purpose as a form of birth control. Then I got older and things changed. But I still knew I didn't want kids in my 20's and 30's; like you, I liked not having to be responsible for someone else - I wanted to be alone, party, and be irresponsible AF.

Anywho, it may just be you don't like THESE kids. I think that's totally fine. Not everyone's rugrats are a pleasure to be around.

I am a mother and I will say with no shame: kids are horrible most of the time. They are loud and annoying and they need you CONSTANTLY and they are dirty and gross and they never freaking sleep. But there are moments, sometimes fleeting when they are babies and toddlers (toddlers are seriously THE WORST), when they are the sweetest most amazing little creatures in the whole world.

Feeling that way after babysitting is totally understandable and a little peek in to how you may feel at times if you decide to have your own. You are not terrible for feeling this way at all, in fact it shows you are seriously thinking about how having kids will effect your life, which is smart. If your DH is 100% into wanting them you may be in store for a hard conversation though. Good luck.

That's okay that you feel this way. Not everyone wants kids. And watching children other than your own is never fun! Hahaha!!! At least your own kids listen to you, (well at least a little bit). Lol. Talk to your husbandthough and get his thoughts on it too. Good luck.

I'm terrified of having a child and not liking my own child

and don't tell me that once you see them it all changes.

I don't think i have the mom gene

and i don't like i could handle a brat/crying/temper tantrum without throwing all the emotions myself.

I don't think you're terrible; the decision to have (or not) children requires introspection and self awareness that not everyone engages in.....

@Slothhh I totally don't think I have the mom gene, either. I've been saying it for years. I'm terrified I wouldn't like my child and they wouldn't like me either!

I feel you. i find most children annoying and gross and then every so often i will be around some very behaved children (FH's cousin's two kids are so great) and i am like hm, maybe I could have one. i go back and forth and i think its totally normal.

It's different when it's your own kids and those ages are rough terrible twos and annoying toddlers lol takes some more time to get used to them and see how to handle them and what works with them, don't be discouraged

Tbh I'm a mom and I really don't like kids that much. I don't even wanna take my daughter to the park half the time because the other kids drive me fucking nuts. And even my own kid drives me insane, but man, the love that I have for her...it's indescribable. So just because you don't like other people's kids doesn't mean you won't like your own!

I want kids, and I'm a teacher so I'm naturally kind of kid inclined... But I loathe babysitting! While it's perfectly ok to not want kids, I wouldn't worry about it too much after one babysitting experience.

When you have your own kids you will feel differently towards them then you would your nieces/nephews. Having your own is alot different and how you feel about them is different at least for most people.

Ok so I'm gonna sound like a HORRIBLE person for saying this but I have 4 children and I LOVE them, my kids are great now but they have not always been so fun.. I am realistic in the sense that there were times I didn't like my kid I always loved them but sometimes they were just mean. I love the relationships that I have with them now my son is 23 and has 2 kids that I adore we have a great relationship, my daughters are 20,17,15 and the youngest two are still brats at times but we have great relationships!

all that being said if I had it to do all over again I would not have kids! here is the reason.. I was a single mom for most of it and it is HARD it is Expensive, I had no time for myself or my friends out side of my kids and all the things they do.. I feel like I am just now getting my own life back and I have some freedom! so I know that makes me a Horrible person but its how I feel

I dislike how most children act. The only kids I like are FH's nephews. They're 99% of the time well behaved. We babysat when they were 2 and 4 and they were seriously such little angels. We bought them a little pool and ate lunch with them. This past weekend we were all at a bar mitzvah though and those kids got into the candy. Holy shit they were biting and throwing themselves on the floor. FH's brother just had this "save me" look the entire time. So I think it's totally okay to not like other kids. I'd imagine it's much different with your own but I can only speculate