Second Thoughts on Kids...

I love kids!! But when I babysit my friend's kids... It's some serious birth control. Two boys, one is 3 and the other is 5. Near the end I am so tired of taking care of them. I couldn't even eat a sandwich without being bothered!! But it's so worth it when they want to watch Thomas the Train and end up cuddling with you on the couch. So cute.

We were ambivalent when we first married, then after a couple years decided we wanted to be parents. I had fertility issues that resulted in it taking a long time to have our daughter. To this day, I don't like most children, but adored pretty much everything about our daughter's childhood (with the possible exception of a tough 15 months when she was 14-15...). I still find most children (but, really, it's mostly their parents) to be obnoxious and annoying. For us, it was, and still is, the very best part of our lives, but we have friends who have had fabulous childless lives (and, sometimes, we've been a little jealous! .

I think what you're experiencing is totally normal! I love kids. Usually, I get along better with them than adults. I'm always teasing FH about having 4 of them (and as a basically only child, it never fails to make him blanch). But a friend brought her 4 year old over a couple of weeks ago, and it was exhausting. We were all taking turns playing with the little ball of energy so that the others could have a break. And I called FH afterward and said "Maybe never mind." But I know deep down that I still want to have kids, and I'm excited for that...just not yet!

I like kids. Really enjoy them from babies to teenagers (tons of nieces/nephews). But... whenever I think of having to take care of another human full time my head spins. I can do without the pregnancy/labor. Waking up at night (or not sleeping at all). I HATE the whole morning routine just me and FH, I can't imagine adding to it. I like sipping my coffee in silence, taking my time. I know all the work is worth it, but I am terrified.

I wish I had an answer for you. I always thought I didn't want children, until a boyfriend/later husband talked me into it. I'm not one to fawn over other people's children. I often find it impossible to be around people with young children, because conversations get interrupted so often by a child's needs. I worried about not liking any children I might have. A week before my son was born, I was so worried that my then husband tried to reassure me by pointing out that women are often emotional during pregnancy, and I had been pretty calm until then and I wailed in response, "Well, if I'd only been less calm earlier, I could have done something about this pregnancy!"

But I loved my children as soon as they were born. It is different when they are your own, because you have a better idea of how to deal with them. If they are someone else's and they have a temper tantrum, for example, you can easily get stressed about how to stop it without giving in. If they are your own, you may know that a hug will stop it. Or that it will stop on its own in a few minutes. Or that talking really quietly will get the kid to shut up in order to listen to you. Knowing this, the temper tantrum is far less stressful.

Does this mean that I think you should just overlook your feelings now, because it will be different when it's your own? No. Having kids is tough. You really need to feel sure that you're willing to give up a lot of time, energy, and money for a future that's bound to be uncertain. I certainly wouldn't think less of you if you decided you didn't want them. But one horrible night of babysitting doesn't mean you're unfit to be a parent.

There is a big difference between raising your own children and watching someone elses...I definitely want a whole houseful of my own kids but I very much dislike watching other people's kids, I didn't raise them, I can't just give them the side eye and they know momma has had enough of the fuss...that's just me though.

I don't have kids (can't) but I am a nanny and auntie. Boys are tough, they have LOADS of energy and 2 & 4 are tough ages. It could have been the time of day you were watching them, it could just be those particular kids (kids are people too, you don't always click just because they are cute!) I would spend time with other children before making that decision. That being said, you are not terrible if you don't want kids, there is nothing wrong with you!