Seeking Reassurance from the Married Ladies

It sounds like it is not in your nature to get too excited or giddy over things. So if this is the case, I would not worry about it and just enjoy your wedding.

Me on the other hand, I am the type of girl that was super excited about everything wedding! From picking out my dress, to touring and selecting a venue, to food and wine tastings, it was all so exciting for me. So I would not have settled for anything that did not give me butterflies. I didn't cry or act dramatic over saying yes to my dress, but I did know it was "the one".

My wedding was the best day of my life and I wouldn't change anything about it.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the response. Maybe I’ve just watched too many episodes of Say Yes to the Dress

I was the same way about my wedding, we were engaged for 18 months and by the end I wanted it to be over and just elope. Creepily enough Covid came along and ruined most of our plans and we did elope. But we only spent $400 on flowers, got married on a Sunday to keep costs down, and I most certainly did not cry while trying on wedding dresses lol. If its not your thing to get over excited, then dont! Youre marrying the person you want to spend your life with and that matters more than all the bells and whistles!

View Quoted Comment

Same lol. From watching SYTTD, you think you're supposed to cry and act emotional and ridiculous. I did not have that moment and that is okay. I reminded myself that is a show and probably dramatized to an extent.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the reassurance! I knew I couldn’t be alone in this but sometimes you just need to hear it from someone

I'm like you, no giddiness, no tears of joy moments. My first wedding, to my ex, I wanted to elope. Mom said No Way! We compromised and had a small wedding with 30 guests. Cost around $3000, had the reception at a pavilion at a local park. It was fine, had a nice day, but nothing overly emotional.

Second wedding, to my 2nd husband, we eloped. I bought a nice knee-length dress, he got a new outfit of shirt and khakis. It was also nice, and I like it much better than the first wedding. Again, nothing overly emotional, no tears of joy. Just us, saying our vows.

Everyone has their own preferences and own way of doing things. I don't regret for a minute missing out on the overly emotional ridiculousness that some people crave. I liked my way best!

I truly can't relate to thinking things should be like Disney or TV shows, so I don't know what reassurance I can give you. But I can say that that I had very definite ideas about everything my wedding didn't need to include, based on years of working as a wedding caterer.

My wedding was very simple by design, planned in a very short amount of time (again, by design), for a very small budget. I have no regrets, but again, by the time I got married I knew myself very well and planned without any outside influences (other than my spouse's ).

View Quoted Comment Thank you, Maggie. I’m always curious the perspective of people in the business and what they do with their own weddings.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing! Sometimes simple really is better! And I’m also always glad to hear of others wearing a shorter dress. While there aren’t nearly as many traditional looking short dresses, they tend to have their own unique vibe that I really like.

I knew I wasn't going to be that person who cries when they find "the dress" or "the venue" or whatever and I'm really glad I didn't agonize over (too many) decisions. Especially because we had to deal with covid, I know that if I had waited until I was sure about everything, we wouldn't have gotten married this year and I'd still be stressing out about everything. I can't say everything is all said and done because we're still having another reception next year/eventually, but being able to enjoy what we had instead of wishing that things were different, or that I was feeling a different way, made it possible for me to be really happy and enjoy our wedding day.


(I didn't cry that day, either.)

I can so relate! My budget is TINY. So, the venue options and everything that I could actually afford wasn’t like my dream make me swoon type things. Simply because of pricing really. But in the end, I doubt I’ll regret saving money. Actually I already am glad. And the wedding really isn’t about the emotions of the attire or venue or even pictures. Just the love the two of you have.

Then FI and I spent 9 months planning my first wedding, only to have FMIL mess everything up. Instead of redoing things months later, we eloped. We wanted most of all to be married. I was happy with a civil wedding in Colorado , and immediately doing our planned backcountry hiking trip. I was widowed, and 6 years later my new FI and I felt that anything we could not plan in 5 months or less, for a reasonable amount, we did not want. Most important, we wanted to be married. If not for his family, I would have been happy in the back yard. My mom reminded me that My second wedding was the 40th I was in the wedding party. The little kid excitement worn off ?

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing. After 40 weddings I would imagine that it would wear off some of the excitement of it all!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for this!! Stress was one of the main reasons I wanted to elope. I don’t handle stress well at all and I know something this important would definitely induce it!

View Quoted Comment You definitely get it! Small budgets definitely reduce the wow factor... and you’re right, the two of us making a serious commitment is really what I want to focus on, and it’s the most important thing.

My husband and I ended up throwing together a mini COVID-wedding in place of our originally planned wedding because we didn't want to wait another year to be married. We are still currently planning a re-do wedding next year for our one year anniversary.

There is a lot you can still do to make a small wedding special, even if you're not an overtly dramatic, tearful kind of person. I'm not either and even though our venue and plan B wedding wasn't all the things we originally wanted and planned for, it was still special and even if we cancel our "re-do", I will be completely happy with the experience.

In the end, the only thing that matters is that you're marrying the person you love. Everything else is secondary.

View Quoted Comment

Hahaha....I've watched too much of that too. I will say that I loved my dress, but I didn't get weepy over it when I found it. I just knew that I loved it and felt gorgeous in it, and I'd hated every other more traditional dress I'd tried on. It's also not a traditional dress - very Gatsby vintage and heavily beaded. Unless I find another dress I want, I'll probably wear it again next year. :-D

View Quoted Comment Nice!! I love a little vintage flair! Your dress sounds gorgeous!

Hi Melissa. I also got a non-traditional dress, and was very happy about it. I think it helps to remember why you are getting married and not get too hung up on the day itself. You are committing to the love of your life! I am not much of a crier and did not cry either, though I did get a bit teary at my hubby's vows (he is not a very verbal person and his vows were very simple but beautiful.) I just tried to think of it like a big party to celebrate with our circle of support, and that is what it was. Have fun and best of luck!