Self catering reception - success stories?

@Wendy, was that wedding in Florida by chance? Sounds exactly like a wedding I went to down there....

The best wedding I've ever been to was self-catered. Around 100 people, indoor reception. The bride's step-mom was a professional caterer and event planner; the bride was incredibly organized - they knew what they were doing. Aunts and Uncles came over the day before to wash/prep/chop all of the food, knocked it out in a few hours. There was a salad (it was cold), the meat was hot when it was served, and some kind of potato if I'm remembering correctly. It was delicious - no rubbery chicken or mushy salad to be found. I don't know if she hired someone to put everything out and warm it up, or if her step-mom did.

My wedding is going to be self-catered. With lots of changes coming up this year, my FH and I have become very waste (meaning food) conscious. Being a vegetarian and being engaged to a vegetarian while the majority of our guests are vegetarians (weirdly enough), we didn't want to pay for something we wouldn't eat. Where we are getting married there are very, very few options for caterers who would, well, cater to this. We decided to save ourselves the trouble and some money and just make what we like (this was our thinking at the time, not necessarily now...). We've hired a reception coordinator who oversees large events and dinners (crowds 200+) to be in charge of everything. We're having six paid people assist her with refilling, warming, cleaning up, etc. We have been in strong communication with her.

We have access to a professional kitchen, a walk-in fridge where everything will be kept safely, and 15+ food-savvy helpers that are going to wash/prep/chop with us. The food will need to be transported day-of, but we've hired someone who does that for a living to do it for us. The cake has its very own fridge at the reception site. I am so thankful that no one in my wedding party or family will have to do a thing on the wedding day, but I am wondering if it's really going to be worth the work... Most of the apps can be served cold or hold at room temp, there are only a few that will be warmed up on site. Our main course is a heaver soup that will be delivered the day before, refrigerated upon arrival, and warmed in giant crock pots. We're buying bread that day from a local bakery.

I moved across the country last June and got engaged shortly after. It makes me sad to think that next week (!) I will be in the kitchen getting food ready rather than visiting with people I have seen since December who won't make it to the wedding. It really does. This is the number one thing I am most stressed about.

But, can it be done? Of course. Is it the most fun and easiest way? ...For some people, cooking is truly relaxing and fun. That's not necessarily me; I'm not intimidated by cooking in the least but it's going to be a LONG day.

So, my initial advice is to tell you that if you and your FH want to do this, to hire someone else to be in charge, a few helpers, and let them take care of everything. Consider renting a walk-in fridge . Plan out every single detail excessively: know how many serving dishes and utensils you'll need, how many plates to rent, when to start heating things up, etc. If you're even second-guessing for a minute, hire a caterer. I'm sure you know that cooking for a crowd is no simple feat, and can prove even more difficult when you have a lot of other things on your mind.

Hope this helps.

I obviously missed the balls comment....

I am a little more lax and open minded, and I'll give you my opinion, because you asked for i). I am not against self-catering per se`, under the right circumstances. I have seen things like this done at my church so, I'll give you the fwiw opinion. But these options are not what you are wanting to do, just so you know. I've seen this work under a few selected circumstances. Small guest list is one, but for the masses, these were the ones that worked the best:

- A potluck gathering, I wouldn't call it a reception, less formal, more of a get-together.

-A dessert reception, in which the bride and groom asked in lieu of gifts for each one of the beloved friends and family share a time honored dessert recipe. The guests brought one pre-made, displayed on long tables of varying heights, and had little place card holders where the families presented a recipe card. These were then stored in a beautiful recipe book for the bride and groom to keep for years to come. I thought it was kind of cute.

*with the exception of stated above, I am not sure how I feel about asking my nearest and dearest to slave over a Thanksgiving dinner for MY wedding.

Both of these are the "less stress" way to go, and more informal. I also hosted and self catered my grandparents 30th anniversary vow renewal. It was at their home, guest list was probably under 30, and it was all premade trays from deli sections of a grocer store.

Now, I am going to tell you about another "self catered", by a caterer, story for an event at my church. It was a large event, probably larger than your guest list. BUT, it was somewhat of a hot mess. It left us all standing out in the halls while they finished up, and hungry. Lunch was probably at least 20 minutes late... and it was just salad, cheese, olives, grapes, pita bread and hummus.

For me, our theme is "Love is Sweet", we are doing a "dessert reception", with a lot of varying desserts. Many of these I will be making myself, unless someone steps up and offers. But it is mainly cupcakes, our "naked" wedding cake, cookies, pie, etc.... I feel this might be a safer way to go, as far as "sickness" issues.

FOR SURE, I would ditch the eggs, OP!!! Baaaaad idea, bad!

It will always be a mystery to me that people can equate sitting next to your brother-in-law and asking him to pass the gravy at Christmas dinner to standing outside, with 80 people, in warm and sunny May, to fill a plate with food prepared by home cooks. One is called a holiday dinner. The other is called a wedding reception. They are as different as Monday morning and Saturday night.

And yes, the OP plans to start an event rental business "using all of the furniture that we make and squire for our own event and I will be blogging about it on our website." Squire? I don't follow. In any event, her business plan is to cater to the DIY crowd. I'm sure she wants to have her own DIY wedding celebration be something she can point to when she advertises her business to others knee deep in DIY. Whatever.

OP, you will only find "success stories" if you define "success". With self-catered weddings, success is most easily defined as "nobody got food poisoning". However, a truly successful self-catered wedding would preclude any family member or guest from working on the days leading up to your wedding or trying to fix food foul-ups on the wedding day. Those stories will never see the light of day because it is an impossibility. You cannot self-cater without enlisting the help of the unpaid, and no matter how sweetly you family helpers smile as they sweat, carve, and serve, in their heart of hearts, they will absolutely be looking longingly at the other 80 people sitting in the shade, laughing, enjoying a cold beer or a glass of wine.

Given that you love all of your guest so much, how would you feel is one died from your self catered reception? Recently, a church hosted a pot luck (understandably different than self catered but roll with it) and several people ended up being hospitalized and one died as a result of something spoiled. I'm on mobile so I can't link, but there are at least 6 news worthy cases of large gatherings sickening people in the passed three years. I can only imagine how many have happened that only caused a small number of people to get sick.

Olivia, get back to us about how much fun it was.

It's okay, we'll wait.

Oh....Now I see.....it's a tax write off for promotion of a new biz!

It's all becoming clear. Crystal clear.

Bloggers only survive by creating content; I know, I blog. They will write about anything, especially anything that can make their readers believe in miracles. LIke a self catered event where no one gets salmonella and the family members are actually speaking to the couple after the whole mess is over. Ham, beans, mashed potatoes and deviled eggs. At least the ham is preserved by design; it probably won't kill anyone.

And trust me OP; there is no wetness behind my personal ears. I owned one of the most upscale off premise catering businesses in NJ/NY for over 25 years, and have been an officiant for almost 10. I've done more wedding in my careers than people will read about in a lifetime.

And I still wouldn't do mine again.

But as most people who post here with ideas that vary in their terribleness, you'll ignore the vast majority of people who tell you not to do this, and seize on the two that said it didn't suck.

Clearly the WW veterans have this covered. Please just listen, and enjoy the memes.

"And I'd believe what she wrote over the likes of some of you who think they know everything but are still wet behind the ears. "

Are you kidding me with this? Then why the fuck do you even come and post questions if you think we are "wet behind the ears?" Seriously.

And @Olivia - that sounds like a g-d nightmare.

That is one of the meanest spirited things to wish on someone I've ever read.

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Wow.....

I tried to be nice and informative, BUT really?? A divorce forum 0.o

And your avitar is going too far. For someone who is trying to set the "maturity standard" here, you CLEARLY need a re-education.

ETA an o because I was too upset to notice my mistake.

Well I'm flagging OP.

Seriously? "Divorce forum"? How mean.

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Looks like I missed something entertaining. "Divorce forum"? Not nice.

Well, mine was pretty successful, but.... this thread looks too hot for me to tell my story (again).

Wait what did she say?? AHHH

I'll just go ahead and say that you have heard from a number of people who have had "successful" self-catered events. And what is common with ALL of them? NONE would do it again. If this isn't coming from a financial standpoint I just truly don't understand why you would put yourself through the stress.

Also, if you already had your mind made up, why even post???

Well...

The fact this is a *wedding* forum makes OP insult so incredibly mean. Shocking, it's literally shocking.