Self Officiated Ceremony

View Quoted Comment Exactly. You are essentially marrying yourself and your spouse without a third party, outside of your guests, being present.

I think this is only legal in a few places- I know some counties in PA and some in CO allow it, but I think that’s it.

This is only legal in certain states and area. Parts of PA will allow this because of Quaker laws or something along those lines. This isn’t an option for everyone and it’s very hard to confirm if it will be considered a legal union

Legalities aside, if it were an option in your state or country, would you consider it?

Interesting discussion. I can’t imagine doing this. I like the traditional custom of someone else essentially validating the marriage.

No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want to take the chance for it not being official. This is the same reason why I chose a pro officiant over a family member/friend, even though I live in a state where anyone can officiate from almost any online ordination.

View Quoted Comment Probably not. FH’s family member is officiating the wedding but we are doing a lot of the leg work with them since they’ve never officiated before.
We might have considered this before we thought of this family member, but we probably would have been to nervous to, and wanted someone more experienced to do it

I can see self officiating as a way to lessen the costs by a small fraction to loosen an extremely tight budget.

I can also see it being extremely personal, especially at an already intimate semi-formal wedding.

But validation would be tricky. Especially if there were guests who don't support the relationship.

This is allowed in certain places and I considered it in DC. I considered it to be a simple small ceremony. Essentially both people need to go to get the license and then they sign and file the papers. It’s possivld in PA. A guy I know just married his husband that way in a Chick fil A. Lol!

It definitely wouldn't be for me and FH, but if it makes others happy then go for it... However, this wouldn't be legal at all in my state (Florida).

I don't think this is legal.

View Quoted Comment It's only legal in very few areas in PA and DC due to Quaker laws that are still effective there.

But if it was legal in your area, would you do it?

I wouldn’t. I think it would make me feel like a kid “getting married” during recess. Even if it was legal, I wouldn’t ever feel like it was official

To answer your question of if I would do it if there was no legal issues, Nope. Partially because I want a religious ceremony, but even if I didn't that's so much pressure on being articulate and performing during a ceremony that comes with a lot of pressure and emotions. That's another one of the reasons FH and I never considered writing our own vows, even settinf aside the significance of the liturgical vows.

View Quoted Comment Yes! I didn't even think about it like that. I completely agree.

While I'm sure there are ways to make it seem less like school yard romance, that's probably how it would come off to me if I were a guest.

I don’t even know if that is legal everywhere. As PP’s said.

View Quoted Comment I definitely see this as an option for those who aren't part of a church or especially religious.

It would be odd and stressful to do a religious ceremony on your own with your partner.

View Quoted Comment Honestly, this is more of a hypothetical thread/discussion. It is super rare and only available in parts of PA and DC. I just wondered what everyone's thoughts on it were and if, given the legal chance, they would do it.

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I would not do it - I would want to make sure it is legal and where we live it is not legal. I support those who want to do it as I see their point in wanting to do it themselves. Our ceremony is not going to be religious at all. In and out, baby!!!

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Oh, I meant that even if we weren't religious it would way too much extra stress to have to perform our own ceremony and work on making sure it flows smoothly and ticks all the correct legal boxes of what must be said and what not. I think if it was a very small intimate ceremony it might work for some people.