Self-uniting Marriage

So, we planned to have our friend who is an online ordained minister officiate our wedding. I've had several bad experiences with officiants and really wanted someone I trusted to do it. Well unfortunately the legality of online ordained in PA is questionable so we started to look into different options. A few of my friends have Self-Uniting marriages and recommended that to me so we could still have our friend lead the wedding but we can still get legally married that day (self uniting you need witnesses but not an officiant). We live in county where these type of marriage licences are very easy to get. This seemed to be the perfect solution, except now my FH, who is a Police officer, is convinced that if he dies on the job that I'm not going to get compensation, saying they are going to claim we're not legally married. He has no proof of this happening to anyone else, I've done my research online and calling, even our friend who works claims for a life insurance company says she's never heard of self uniting effecting a claim. It also bothers me that this was never a concern in the last 4 years he's been a PO (we've been together 6), and he wanted to wait for common law marriage which he did not realize till after we were engaged isn't recognized in PA.

He wanted us to get married in the courthouse a couple of days before and then have a symbolic ceremony the day that we planned the wedding. We discussed the options months ago and he seemed okay with the idea of Self-Uniting, but now he's being very passive aggressive it. I've been saying that if it makes him feel better, I have no issues getting courthouse married a few days before (both of our families are okay with this as well). But when I say this he just tells me "no, we'll compromise and do what you want to". This is really starting to get on my nerves. If I say we'll get self united, he goes into a speech about how it's bad that he won't be able to take care of me or his future family after his death... if I say we'll do the courthouse marriage first, he tells me no that we've already agreed on Self-uniting and refuses to discuss it... and when I say we'll just hire an officiant, he gets irritated and says that's not what either of us want... With the wedding being under 2 months away we need to decide what we're going to do and I cannot seem to win with him. I don't know what to do.