Send help! i can’t make decisions!

Hi everyone! My fiancé and I have been together for 13 years. We always knew this day would come and we would get married but never really pictures how. Needless to say we have partially planned our wedding, save the dates in hand, stamped and ready to go. But I cannot bring myself to send them out. I’m beginning to think a “wedding” isn’t for me. Most of what we have booked is things that have been canceled. I’m saying all of this to get to the point of it being about the love for us, not all the expensive wedding things. I’ve put all wedding plans to a hault and I’m waiting for finalized details from our travel agent because we are thinking about getting married in St. Lucia (where our honeymoon is already planned) with our closest friends and family. I know it sounds totally selfish but I just want us to go get married & unfortunately I don’t care if it makes anyone upset. I should include that we wanted to elope or just take our parents and siblings down to a scenic spot to begin with but things snowballed with all wedding plans. HELP, feel free to tell me I’m being a horrible person.