Sensitive Wedding Date

I wouldn't change your date. Offer your condolences and continue planning. Life does go on, the same with Sept 11 and Dec 7. If he feels he needs to back out to grieve, he will let you know. Most people understand that the world continues to spin despite past events they have experienced.

I wouldn't change your date. It might give him something positive to focus on around that time period rather than his mom's sudden death.

If you love the number date, I would go for it!

As someone who also suddenly lost a parent recently: I wouldn't move the date.

It is very sweet that you are concerned. You clearly love this friend very much.

This loss is still very fresh, but by the time your wedding comes, it won't be. I won't say "time heals" because I don't know if that's true. But he will not always feel the way he does right now.

If you do want to discuss it with him, I would wait. He is still in the deeper throes of grief - this 5-6 month time, for me, was one of the rougher times. If you can give him until August or so before you ask, it would be good. Then, I wouldn't "ask", per se. I would gently discuss it with him. Something along the lines of, "I know this time of year is significant to you, and I want to make sure you are comfortable." Asking outright if you should change your date puts the onus on him to give you an answer. Instead, open the floor to him and let him guide the conversation. This way, you're letting him know that you are sensitive to how he is feeling, and he is free to tell you honestly.

I wouldn't change your date

I wouldn't change your date. You can certainly (privately) acknowledge the loss of a close friend's loved one, particularly if you do a rehearsal dinner or other wedding event on that date itself. It will likely be nice for your friend to have something positive to look forward to and focus on on that day.

I think this is really sweet of you to be considering, but I wouldn't change your date. My step-grandfather passed away on November 13th in 2020 and our wedding is November 12th of this year. My grandmother made a comment about how she might have a hard time celebrating because it's so close and I told her that he wouldn't want her sitting around at home crying over his loss. He'd want her to be out living her life, smiling and enjoying herself. The same goes for pretty much any loved one I think.

I've also been a guest at a wedding on the anniversary date of my grandfather's death. I was NOT happy about going to it at first, if I'm being honest, but it's because it was for a distant friend of my FH and I had never met these people. Once I was there I was glad we went, we had a great time. His friends turned out to be old souls and liked 50s and 60s music and played one of his favorite songs, so I excused myself for that and sat outside with my FH and I did shed at tear at that point, but to me it felt like he was there with me telling me it was okay to be having a good time. I shed a tear for that reason, because it was such a special moment to know that he is always with me. So keep your date, celebrate and I'm sure they'll appreciate having something to keep their minds busy as well.

I love your thought process and consideration, but I would suggest keeping that date since it's important to you. My grandma passed suddenly on May 3, 2014. On May 3, 2015 I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. Yes, I was a bit sad that morning, but being there for a friend on an incredibly important day for her was worth it. I took a minute in the morning to pray and grieve alone and then spent the rest of the day celebrating. Once the festivities got going it was easier to be in the moment and I'm really glad I was able to be where I was.