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Just Said Yes September 2019

Separate Ceremony and Reception guests (same day)

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Amanda, on March 27, 2019 at 11:26 AM

We have decided to invite about 35 people to our ceremony, mainly immediate family members (FH comes from a very large family, most of our guests are from his side). Our reception immediately follows the ceremony (how the venue does it) and the reception will have about 60-70 people invited to it beyond our ceremony guests. I know people typically do their ceremony and receptions on different days if not everyone is included in both, but I have family coming from across the country and several states away, and all of his family either comes from PA or NY, so two different days just isn't feasible. I'm just wondering how to do the invitations for this and how likely it is people are really going to be upset with us over this. We are not having a wedding registry so there's no need or want for gifts. We just want an intimate ceremony with close family then to celebrate with all of our family and friends.

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24 Comments

Savvy September 2019
Kelsey · on March 27, 2019 at 7:13 PM
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Man ignore the haters. Wedding Wire forums are so toxic and full of people just trolling around trying to shame other women for how they plan their special day. Join the Zola Community Facebook group instead! It's just as popular and active as Wedding Wire, but with a "No Wedding Shaming" rule. (Also Zola's wedding website and planning tools are far better than Wedding Wire's but you didn't hear it from me.... )
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Beginner July 2019
Kari · on March 28, 2019 at 10:45 AM
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I'm doing this too! We will have 13 people at our ceremony and about 90 at the reception. We are NOT public speaking people, and preferred to have a very small ceremony. If others are offended, oh well! It's our day and this is what makes us comfortable and happy. I'll be sending out separate invitations
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Erin · on February 28, 2021 at 12:36 PM
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I agree with Mrs. Polar Bear!
Stay strong brides who want to have an intimate ceremony. Some couples want that moment to REALLY be present with their partner. To look into the eyes of the person you are going to share all that life has to offer and not feel like it’s a show. To feel relaxed enough that you can actually remember what was said. To be THERE to feel the connection that’s happening. Feeling the love more than feeling nerves. You’re going to be nervous as it is. So with close family to start you off, to help calm your nerves, do it!
And Grandparents are not irrelevant in this scenario. My daughter is getting married in her grandparents backyard. A lot of love and good memories there. There will be 18 people witnessing and approximately 150 ish people coming to the reception. Same place, same day. People who are offended by that and don’t want to go, well, to me, you think more of yourself than the couple who are joining their lives together and you won’t be missed.
To each their own. Celebrate your day the way you want to. In the end, starting off with strong boundaries, can only flourish a couple who wants it for the long run.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on February 28, 2021 at 12:43 PM
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I agree with this. There is no way to do this without offending people. Also it is very rare (and considered by many to be a breach of etiquette) to have ceremony and reception on separate days.
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