"Shacking Up" Before Marriage

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I am learning that there are along of perks to legalizing your marriage.

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Although my now husband and I decided to move in together while we were just dating, I don't judge those who chose to wait until they are married. I agree that the couple has to do what works for them.

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My now husband and I moved in together while we were dating so that we wouldn't have to be long distance anymore and to save money. It was definitely a natural progression.

I think that it's been more beneficial than anything. It's got us used to married life before we are actually married and it's been almost 3 years. It helped with communication and we're learned eachother weird habits and nasty ones too lol. My mom and dad were a bit weary because I was only 22 at the time i moved in with him. But i trusted my instincts because I have a great man and he's been so good to and for me. It's also made my relationship with my mom better because we argued so much when i lived with her. You learn more, you aren't dealing with shock that you get when you wait. My fiance even told me that he'd even advise someone to see if you can live with someone first before you marry them. Different day and age.

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For my now husband and I, it just made sense to live together before we got married, we didn't even think about it as "shacking up".

In a perfect world that SHOULD be the case. But, let's be honest, it isn't. Strong Faith is not necessarily a determinant of alignment with God's will (ie plan, rules, law, etc.) Let's look to scripture. Abraham had Ishmael with Hagar which was NOT in accordance with God's plan. Isaac was the child God promised to Abraham. Abraham's faith was so strong that God favored him and promised to make MANY nations from his seed. Yet Abraham disobeyed God by trying to do Gods job for him on his own timing. Further, David, a man after God's own heart, The king chosen by God himself for Isreal AND from who's line our Savior was promised committed murder and adultery. By this time the law had been given so murder and adultry were punishable by death. These men are significant because by our faith (like Abraham) in Christ (from David) we are justified. The same way Abraham's faith was was counted to him as righteousness we are grafted in as sons of the Promise. But both of these men were WAY out of alignment with God's word. So much so that David's house was cursed with turmoil (his son tried to overthrow him and Solomon slid into idolatry and his son caused the division of the kingdom) and Abraham's illgotten seed ( Ishmaelites and descendants) til this day are a thorn for the Jews. Both brothers continue to fight (in war, kiling each other) over land in Jerusalem. So, there can be dire consequences for our sin for generations to come. Even though God forgave and continued his promises to these men.

Obedience is GREATER than sacrifice (1Sam15:22). Those who love God keep his commands (Dan 9:4). LOVE=OBEDIENCE. God wants our obedience. Obedience is a fruit of our faith in Him. I'm giving you scripture here. SEE James 1:12. James2:25. Romans8:28. Nehemiah 1:5. Deuteronomy 7:9. The wicked bless God with their lips but turn and run to sin. (Isaiah 29:13, Matthew15:8)

Although I myself have sinned I would never encourage anyone else to sin for the sake of worldly convenience. Especially over a matter of years. Always have Christ's return in the forefront of your mind. Live life as if he could return tomorrow. A person's season of sin for convenience could cause them to miss the rapture of Christ. The Great Tribulation is a serious matter that only a SPOTLESS church will be saved from. Blessing Sis.

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Blessings.

I’ve been with my fiancé for 9 years and out of those 9 i lives with him for 1 years about 2 years ago. I moved out because it was his mother house and i wanted my own space. He’s not of a Momma’s boy which i am now finding out as we get closer to the wedding. shelling him that he has to leave his house has been difficult and we almost broke up numerous times. I’m just impatient and i don’t have all the time in the world to wait for someone to decide to leave their parents. I regret it a lot but i know we were young but that’s not an excuse . We’re getting married in 2 months and i’m starting to miss my own space already. But hey it’ll be a major adjustment for all parties involved. Hopefully it works out . *Crosses fingers*

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All things will work out, don't worry.

I think living together first is important. I’d much rather find out that I can’t cohabitate well with someone BEFORE I sign an official, legally binding contract. A break up is far less messy than a divorce.

My fiancé and I lived together for about 8 months, ending almost 2 years ago. We ended up splitting because we weren’t really ready for that and it pushed our relationship too far too fast. He moved in when we found out I was pregnant with our now 2 year old daughter, 3 months into our relationship. We’ve spent those 2 years living apart and our relationship has had its ups and downs.

following me going out with another guy (for 3 weeks) he realized he had his head stick so far up his ass that he was on the verge of losing me forever. The guy i was dating turned out to be a dud, and we were able to fix our relationship. He apologized profusely for all the stupid asshole things he had done, and asked if i would take him back. We got engaged 2 months later, and we’re moving back in together in December. i can’t wait.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. It can’t really be compared.

Personally, it’s a matter of trying to resist temptation. I am not for cohabitating but I don’t think it’s right to look down on anybody who does. That’s my personal belief.

Well. I refuse to rent. So I wanted to buy a house once we got engaged.
We were engaged, went thru the home buying process, and we've been living together 6 months. The wedding is in 4. I'm glad we live together. But I refused to make it happen til we planned to get married.

I've seen a number of couples back in my hometown who didn't live with their partners before marriage (some of it for financial/home-buying reasons which I can really understand though), but for us, I can't imagine it at all!! As much as I love my FH, I think I would've killed him within a month of marrying him if we hadn't learned those living-together-things about each other yet! To be fair there are some big cultural differences with us, but even if that wasn't the case there are just so many things you wouldn't know about a person unless you've lived with them long-term! (Cleanliness, hygiene, finances, cooking ability, little habits, likes and dislikes--and do they coordinate with yours??) My FH and I been through so many life changes together, and all while living together. So, there'll be no surprise incompatibility that we'll find out about *after* the fact. I can easily imagine that's why many people have said in the past "the first year is the hardest"... Sounds scary to me, no thanks!

But I'm just talking in my case and in the support of others who live together. I definitely respect other couples who it doesn't work for!

View Quoted Comment You said it so nicely - other couples who it doesn't work for... We are all humans, it's crazy not to live together before committing for a lifetime. Managing stress, emotions, finances, levels of energy, little routines, the list can go on for miles... I have known couples who opted to not live together. End result - nightmare. Because if one does it for religious reasons...guess what - they will never divorce just suffer forever with who they are incompatible with... Oh well!!! Nowadays there is seriously no reason to climb onto the high horse of righteousness...
Someone posted a few months back about either following the Bible or not. Very black or white....cuz it's the word of God. Well...no..it's actually a book written by people and anything in there can be interpreted 25 different ways. I have many Christian friends and they themselves told me that. It's what you make of the word of God.
I understand the financial reasons. Or long distance...and the likes. In my mind living together should be a priority... Not the wedding. Too much of a gamble if you treat marriage seriously. But it looks like 95% on here agree