"Shacking Up" Before Marriage

FH and I have been together for 7 years - 4 years while living in the same city and 3 years spent long distance. We moved in together just before we got engaged. Personally, i didn't want to live together while we were bf and gf because I was still finding myself and didn't want to feel trapped. That being said, I'm happy we moved in together as things got serious. I doubt much will feel different between now and when we are married which makes me feel a little sad, but on the other hand, it's been good to see how we live together.

View Quoted Comment I'm glad everything is working out.

Well biblically it's frowned on. But we started living together March 2019. We are getting married next June. We pretty much lived together a year before that. Our Bishop said we never should have moved in together. But economically it works for us. We are more connected to each other since moving together. I have no regrets and he says he doesn't either. Do what works for y'all.

I am a Christian as well. From a biblical standpoint, it's not the "shacking up" that's the issue. Premarital sex is the issue. Not saying that's what you both were doing. But that's what eveyone would assume you were doing even if you weren't. Scripture tells us to flee even the "appearance" of sin. You represent Christ. What message are you sending by saying Im Christian, but live with my boyfriend, while unmarried, and likely having premarital sex? Premarital sex is sin according to God's word. And as Christians we are to be obedient to his word and not be a potential stumbling block for those who are not yet saved but are watching your life and your choices. And what we say is, "it's nobody's business what we're doing". But, on the contrary, It's God's business. He purchased you once you gave your life to him. You carry HIS name and your're not your own anymore. Your're HIS ambassador. His bride. And that comes with conditions. Obedience. A sinful life will not inherit the kingdom of God. And even the appearance of sin sends the message that sinning is okay. There are no stats that show living together prior to marriage increases the chances of staying together. For most, marriage never comes because marriage benefits are being had without the ring and the cost. When we rely on God for ALL things and not our understanding, I believe he can bring about ANY blessing he so desires as a reward for our obedience. Including a lasting harmonious marriage. Im absolutely not knocking you. Im no saint. But I DO NOT recommend Christian couples live together before marriage. Do we REALLY trust God to meet ALL of our needs? Living together before marrying in my opinion says that perhaps you don't trust him in that area so let me see for myself first. Blessings😊

My fiancé and met each other by living in the same apartment building. I moved in first, and then he moved in like 8 or 9 months later. So we practically live together anyway. It works for us.

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I think the economic benefits of living together are why most people do it.

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I agree that sex is the sin and not actually living together. So I'm assuming that you don't live with your fiance?

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So you two live close but not under the same roof?

View Quoted Comment Yes ma’am!

View Quoted Comment Oh cool. So close that it's enough to be considered living together.

View Quoted Comment EXACTLY. "trying out", is taking matters into your own hands and in my opinion speaks to a lack of trust in God to provide exactly the person that you need without living with them first. Old folks did this ALL THE TIME....now exactly which marriages lasted longer? Theirs or ours? Old folks STAYED TOGETHER.....and most DID NOT live together first. IJS.

View Quoted Comment I get it. But, my opinion is that's how the world thinks. What's convenient for them rather than what will have them living in OBEDIENCE to God's word. Sometimes, what will keep us in obedience, what will keep us in right dressing standing with the Father IS ALWAYS CONVENIENT, FAIR, OR EASY. I see my cohabitating coworkers stack up cash and NOT TITHE, OR go to church... But all the economic benefits you reap by disobeying your God cannot save your soul, or guarantee your place in heaven. The song says "I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold." Is that true? Silver and gold only serves to make us comfortable in this life but does nothing for us before a holy God.

View Quoted Comment You said it very well. The notion that it's just between you and your future spouse I don't understand. A divorce effects family friends and community. So does any break up once children are born. I see what comes as a consequence of premarital sex and divorce every day in court. The decisions you make as a couple don't just effect the couple and should not always be made between just the couple especially decisions regarding living together before marriage. This absolutely only applies to those saying I am Christian and God is sovereign and is Lord if my life.

View Quoted Comment Yeah. I think it’s very interesting. I don’t meet to many people who’ve found the love of their life in the same apartment building.

Shacking up is fine as long as you both have the same long-term expectation. We lived together for several years before getting married. By about year 3-4 years, his entire family considered us husband/wife anyways.

Everything is fun and games until you can’t tell the person to get out of your house when you’re mad😳

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing your perspective on this matter.

View Quoted Comment It is a unique love story ❤️

View Quoted Comment I agree that you should have the see expectations of what you want out of the experience.

View Quoted Comment Lol, seriously!