"Shop Like it's Their Birthday" Bridesmaids Gifts stressing me out

Those are lovely gift ideas! I wrote about this a few months ago. I don’t really get this trend either. It’s not their birthday, it’s your wedding. And thanking them with a specific hobby-related present is just odd to me.
I think the general idea is to gift something they’d enjoy—so not a hot pink feathered clutch to your friend who’s a basic jeans and tee shirt girl. Tailoring to what you know of their tastes is more than enough.

I know it is really popular on here to "shop like it's their birthday" but I personally will not be following that trend. My girls are also your average girls who aren't like super obsessed with anything in particular. I like the idea of a piece of jewelry picked out for each of them, not for the wedding but suited to their style. If I don't end up giving identical gifts to my girls, they will be variations of the same gift (different color, design etc). If I try to shop for the individual, I am far more likely to get one girl something she loves and another girl something she feels bleh about. Or they will be wildly different prices and it will show. I have been gifted a matching robe from a bride (no monogram) and I still wear it at home all the time! I am just gonna keep it simple, and I think that is what will work best for you, too!

What do they like to for hobbies? They have to have things that they like to do during their spare time. Maybe get them things that relate to that?


Do they have a favorite restaurant? You could get them a gift card there. Do they like to get massages or get their nails done? You can get them gift cards for that.
I gave my bridesmaids fine jewelry from Ring Concierge and Bony Levy/Nordstrom. They were all different pieces chosen specifically based on each girl’s style/taste. I made sure they knew they didn’t need to wear it for the wedding (most chose to wear it though!).

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Thank you so much! It feels good to know it's not just me, haha! And I agree with your sentiment about thanking them with a specific hobby-related present being somewhat odd as a wedding thank you gift. Not wrong or unappreciated, but a little odd to me too.

I wanted to make sure to get my bridesmaids something they enjoy, so I decided to just get gift cards to their favorite restaurants, and they are all wine drinkers, so I am including each of their favorite wines. But if your bridesmaids aren't wine drinkers then you could include the tea that you mentioned!

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Hi Karla,
We all have babies and or babies/toddlers right now so we really don't get spare time or time to ourselves often. But on that line of thought, maybe a pampering session for just them would be a welcomed gift!
I don't know about favorite restaurants because we all have little kids and therefore we don't eat out much aside from date nights, and I think giving a gift card intended for date night could be weird. But maybe not?
I don't think any of them have ever had massages done, but I also don't think they'd be opposed to it! 2 of the girls would love gift cards for nails, but they live in Mexico & The Rio Grande Valley respectively, so it could be tricky...good idea though!

I really like the idea of nice jewelry to match their personality & tastes, too. That I could definitely do!

I did a clutch purse either black (a lot of my girls where black) and two girls I thought would prefer the blush color. Each one had Starbucks gift cards in them (all of my girls either drink coffee or the occasional sandwich there). I went for practical ❤️

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Okay, love that! Practical over "individualized" seems a lot better to me!

Yeah, the "shop like it's their birthday" is sort of a weird phrase--but don't overthink it! Something personal and/or practical and not a wedding prop is all that's meant to mean. For example, the personal gifts I got were: really nice coffee beans for one BM, a personalized makeup bag for another (who was 14 at the time and loves that sort of thing), a custom candle from Etsy for one, and a nice bracelet for my sister/MOH.

Im making my flower girls a little basket my bridemaids are all getting a lil thank you kit

I wouldn't worry too much about this concept honestly. I can share with you what I did (and all of my bridesmaids were very pleased). First, I paid for their hair and makeup, as well as matching sets of satin pajamas with their initials monogrammed. Since these were wedding related and didn't really count as 'gifts,' I also gave them each a Kendra Scott bracelet (I recall spending about $60 or $65 per bracelet). I made it very clear that they were welcome to wear the bracelets for the wedding if they chose to do so, but this certainly wasn't a requirement.

I think your idea sounds great. I might be biased, but Kendra Scott jewelry usually tends to be a hit I know that several of my bridesmaids still wear these bracelets often because they are classic pieces!

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I'm planning on doing pretty much exactly this. Paying for hair and makeup + getting ready outfits, as well as gifting a quality piece of jewelry to each of my bridesmaids. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to get each bridesmaid a different piece of jewelry or all the same.

All that phrase really means is to get them stuff that you know they’ll like! It helps people get out of the mindset that it should be wedding related when, really, it’s a thank you gift so it shouldn’t be.

I plan to get my bridesmaids overnight bags, necklaces (that aren’t for the wedding), and probably a couple of other small things. Jewelry is hard, though, because my one bridesmaid only wears yellow gold but is allergic to a lot of things.

Get something that fits their interests and hobbies. What are they into? What do they do for fun?

I agree that the “shop like it’s their birthday” saying is stressing me out! I totally get not getting wedding-related things (props for pictures, things with their wedding titles on them, etc), but I also don’t want to get completely separate gifts in fear that one will be disappointed they didn’t get what another did. So far I bought travel jewelry cases, also considering a gift certificate for a massage or facial and something wine-related like a nice insulated tumbler - I know they’d all appreciate those items!

When I was a bride I honestly gave my bridesmaids all the same things. I don’t think it’s a bad thing if you do that. So don’t feel so stressed to have to actually individualize every single person’s gift. The idea is really thoughtful if you have the time but if you don’t really it’s OK if you just got everyone the same thing. When I was a bridesmaid the bride gave everyone the same thing also and no one complained about it I personally didn’t care either because it’s a nice gesture so don’t stress yourself out too much

I think it's totally fine to get similar items for each! I got these adorable tumblers that are personalized with their name and have designs of their fav Disney Princess (Disney wedding)! I'm also including a "mini-bar" (little shot size bottles of alcohol) and some other little pampering things! I might also include a half-priced books gift card and some cute bookmarks because we all love to read!

I also have stress about this. I don't live in the same city as any of my girls, so I dont know their favorite restaurants or coffee shops. They do have hobbies, but I don't know enough about those hobbies to buy them things because they already have things they like to use for their sport/craft/etc. For example, I have a girl who does ballet--I have no idea what a good ballet gift is?? All I know is that she is particular about her leos, tights, shoes, hair pins, literally everything.


I just am worried my gifts will be worse if I try to make them individual than if I just get everyone something solid and nice, like jewelry or a bag.
(I won't be getting anything that's a photo prop or anything with bridesmaid on it)

View Quoted Comment You could also get them gift cards from stores you know they like! Nordstrom, target, pottery barn, etc.


The jewelry worked out well for my bridesmaids since they’re all into jewelry and who doesn’t love diamonds?! 😊

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I think this is a great idea. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with coffee or wine or makeup or anything that was suggested, but I would hope that the bride would know me well enough to know that I would not really like jewelry or makeup (I dont' wear much of either). That's all we mean when we say "shop like it's their birthday". Really just shop individually. If you know they all wear and appreciate earrings like Kendra Scott style then definitely gift them all something like that!

The main point is really to tailor to an individual person, not just get everyone the same thing. And as for hobby specific being odd for a wedding gift, that doesnt' make sense to me. You're giving a person a gift as a thank you - it SHOULD be something that THEY would love and appreciate and doesn't need a theme or vibe or uniformity.