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Should i be offended?

Ashley, on May 14, 2021 at 4:43 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 27

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I have a friend from college who is getting married and is not allowing plus ones for her wedding for friends, even if they are in committed relationships. She decided to pick a venue first, then base her guest count off that. I get that weddings can be costly, but I feel like there’s a way to plan practical and cost efficient. A few of us are married/engaged/in committed relationships longer than when she even met her FH. Due to budgeting, the couple is also restricting the reception to family(her family is local, while our friend group is spread out) only, so we would have to leave after the ceremony since it’s all in the same place. I just don’t see the point in spending money for a plane ticket for all of that. Am I overreacting?

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Latest activity by Lady, on May 17, 2021 at 2:09 PM

VIP January 2019
Maggie · on May 14, 2021 at 4:54 PM
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I don't know if you should be offended, but I wouldn't consider that an actual invitation to anything. I wouldn't pay to travel to a ceremony-only event without a celebration attached. Just decline and move on with your life.
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on May 14, 2021 at 4:55 PM
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I don’t think you’re overreacting at all and I would decline the invite. No way I would pay for a plane ticket to attend a ceremony only.
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Super February 2022
Grace · on May 14, 2021 at 4:58 PM
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I would not attend. I wouldn't necessarily be offended but it is her saying family is more important than friends. Send a gift and your congratulations but it is perfectly okay to decline. If she asks why you cannot attend, tell her it is a long way to travel alone for just the ceremony.
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Ashley · on May 14, 2021 at 5:00 PM
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Yeah you’re right I’ll probably decline. I think the reason it’s a little off putting is because I myself am also getting married and I allowed her a plus one for her FH, even before they became engaged. She got engaged after I did and is having a short engagement so her wedding date is a little bit before mine. Her is in November, mine is January. So I thought she’d have a little more consideration when planning.
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Super March 2022
JA · on May 14, 2021 at 5:01 PM
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She clearly doesn't truly value the friendships of anyone who she invited to ceremony only. that is a HUGE faux pas, and is absolutely not worth traveling for
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Devoted July 2023
Scandalousrandallous · on May 14, 2021 at 5:02 PM
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No one wants to sit through a wedding without getting to party afterwards. And you have to travel? NOPE.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on May 14, 2021 at 5:03 PM
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A significant other is not a plus one. However a significant other must be invited as a social unit or neither in the couple invited.
You are not overreacting. That is just disrespectful. Do not attend or give a gift of any kind.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on May 14, 2021 at 5:22 PM
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Totally agree! No gift. You can send a card if you wish.

Not sure what’s worse: not inviting SOs, or not inviting guests to the reception afterwards???? So rude.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on May 14, 2021 at 5:35 PM
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But yet people suggest it all the time without blinking. ‘Have a ceremony now and a reception months or a year later’.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on May 14, 2021 at 5:58 PM
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She’s talking about a tiered wedding. The ceremony and reception are on the same day, same place, but out-of-town guests are expected to leave right after the ceremony? Not the same thing.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on May 14, 2021 at 6:16 PM
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Definitely rude to sort your guests into first/second/third classes. Treat them all equal or don’t invite any. But both scenarios are rude.
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Devoted August 2022
Nicole · on May 14, 2021 at 6:28 PM
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No way in hell would I get on a flight to attend a 30 minute ceremony by myself only to get kicked out when the food arrives? Yikes.
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Master 0000
Judith · on May 14, 2021 at 7:06 PM
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Rude X 2------It is fine to have a very small ceremony, family only if you like, them add on more people for the reception. It is never ever acceptable to have people invited to the ceremony whom you send home before the reception. That ans not inviting both halves of a couple, definitely decline the invitation. No reason given, as is polite. But should she ask you, them tell her outright that it is her lack of manners.
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VIP May 2022
Ava · on May 14, 2021 at 7:13 PM
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Not overreacting AT ALL. This is horrible hosting, on so many levels! All guest’s SO’s should always be invited.. and that goes doubly if they are traveling to attend the wedding. It is also super rude to invite guests to the free portion of the event, then not properly host them at the reception after. There is no way I would spend the time & money traveling to that wedding.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on May 14, 2021 at 7:21 PM
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Your "friend" doesn't sound like a true friend. Any decent friend would allow your significant other to attend and would properly host her guests rather than kicking them out after the reception. It sounds like she shouldn't have picked a place then planned her guest list around that. She should have definitely created a guest list first then selected a venue. If it were me, I would be honest with her that you are upset because she is asking you to fly without your significant other to attend a short ceremony without any type of thank you for coming like a reception.
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on May 14, 2021 at 8:23 PM
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There is no way on earth I'd get on a plane to attend a ceremony without my husband then get kicked out before the reception.

Sounds like she just wants warm bodies and gifts
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VIP May 2020
Jai · on May 14, 2021 at 10:13 PM
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I would def be offended and not even go! Especially if my hubby isn't invited and there's no reception. Don't waste your time or money
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on May 14, 2021 at 11:49 PM
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When people talk about ceremony now, reception years later, they're referring to a small wedding with refreshments provided for all who attended now, and a full blown party (reception) later.
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Expert November 2021
Sara · on May 15, 2021 at 1:03 AM
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No way in hell I'd attend if I were in your shoes. Rude enough to not invite your husband, even ruder to not invite all guests to the reception
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VIP August 2021
Katie · on May 15, 2021 at 10:24 AM
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No I don't think you are over reacting. I think they are being very rude for not inviting SOs and for not inviting all the guests to the reception, that is straight up tacky af. You don't invite neither if you can't invite the SOs. I definitely wouldn't waste my time or money on just a ceremony that I have to fly to and my SO isn't invited to.
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Should i be offended?

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