Should I Cancel my Bridal Shower?

@diva bride, there aren't any character limits in the comments. You can use whole words.

Meh. don't cancel. have fun

You are obviously upset that nobody is willing to justify your "first to get married" excuse for throwing a shower. Don't get an attitude, this is probably why people were supposedly rude to you before.

Either talk to your mom and moh and let them know that you found out it is in bad taste to host your own, and hand over all parts to them to take over... or cancel. Hosting a party on the same date, in the same location is going to make your guests feel obligated to bring a gift still. Just don't. See if you can move the date to a different weekend, and create a whole new fresh event to have a brunch or social if you NEEDED to.

But don't get upset and expect people not to call you out on your tacky behavior.

Hey now, my snark is in response to snark.

Just have the shower. Or call it a Bridal Brunch and Bubbly like others suggested. I think most women expect they'll eventually be invited to a bridal shower--regardless of who's throwing it.

You shouldn't have planned your own party, its not a must to have a bridal shower... But since you did, chances are invites are already out? If so & you already spent the money it seems like a waste to cancel it..

Based on what you have said, it seems like you really want to have this bridal shower/party/get together. Even if people disagree, it seems as though you may still go through with it. If your comment about it not being about the gifts and just a get together is genuine, I would have the get together. If you are trying to find a way to politely ask for gifts, cancel it. If you choose to move forward with this, my words of advice would be:

1. You should try to see if the venue can accommodate and change the time to 10 or 11 and change subject from Bridal Shower to Brunch & Bubbly.

2. Instead of mentioning anything about a wedding, gifts, honoring anyone, have the subject/catch phrase be like previously mentioned..."Good friends, light fare & fabulous conversation. Come meet the girls for brunch"

3. If anyone asks about when your bridal shower is, let them know that you are not having one (don't tell them why you aren't, just let them know you won't be having one,) and tell them you have decided to have a brunch get together instead. People may or may not interpret this to understand that a. no one is throwing you one and b. may still bring gifts.

Under no circumstances should you imply that this is a celebration of your wedding or that they should bring gifts.

ETA: Words, grammar - again, be sure to pay closer attention to five star posters and people that have gotten married.

The snark you are receiving is because it had become obvious that you don't care for the answers you are receiving... you want someone to Pat you on the back and tell you your ignorance to wedding ettiquete is okay. I learned right away that that doesn't happen here.

Can some posters be a bit harsh sometimes... definitely, but when so many people ask things (especially when they say "I read/know this is in poor taste, but..." and ask to justify whatever situation they're in) and then get mad and defensive that they're not being told what they want to hear, well I'm sure that gets old.

Yes you should cancel and yes, you're being selfish.

You don't throw a gift grabbing party for yourself. It's just rude and gross. If nobody offers to do it for you, then you don't get one, simple as that.

I'm sorry that happen to you, I don't think I will be getting a shower either and I'm ok with that. You already paid for it so you might as well just have it and just try to change the theme of it. If you are looking for advice with love and sincerity behind it, this forum is not the place for it. Sad but true. They are very catty in here, and if you DARE to fight back they will accuse YOU of the one being rude. LOL

Even if I thought throwing your own shower was weird, which I do (sorry!), if you were a friend or family member I'd still go if invited and just enjoy it. I would probably make a comment to those close to me though that I thought it was strange....

@Christina: great tips

@QueenDavis: I disagree. When I first got here, I was like damn that was harsh. But now I get it. Many people don't come here to receive true advice, but just to have people rally behind their awful ideas. The memes and the snarky stuff may not be your thing, but the support here is real. And I've learned plenty here. In my life off the internet, I believe in keeping it real with my friends and family. I don't need yes men in my life. It is not productive. Stick around. There is plenty to learn about weddings and etiquette.

And the funny thing is your friends and family will come. But they will talk about you behind your back. Whether or not you find out is another story.

Actually, I was looking for advice and it became one huge mess. To those asking me why I rented a place, pretty sure I didn't want to cram 20 women into my 1 bedroom apartment. To those asking me why I even bothered asking if "i wasn't going to bother listening", its called a forum for a damn reason. I thought that this site was supposed to be used to give people advice. Not be used to create a shitstorm of bad memes and rude comments.

Again, planned something because I thought it was customary, didn't realize I was rude/greedy/grabby/selfish by planning it. Started questioning it this weekend so there's that. I am not looking for validation for me planning something.

For those who were civil, thanks. You da real mvp (mmmm more shitty memes) For those being rude as all get out, have a great Monday morning, drink some coffee (or spike it with some liquor to calm yourself.

On the bright side, at least I was wise enough to not invite people that we're invited to my wedding to my shower/brunch/luncheon/boozefest/waste of money/scam to beg people for gifts.

Hmm. I think this deserves to be posted twice on the same thread.

So just being curious, am I not the adult in this situation?

This is a forum and a site to give advice. Where it isn't working for you is that the majority are telling you that what you want to do is a bad idea.

Just take the advice of those on here that were offering options for what you want to do. Don't get pissy because people are not agreeing with you.

I'm not a yes ma'am kind of person but I believe in giving it straight no chaser without the extra stuff, which is why all my friends come to me for advice. The name calling and stuff is uncalled for and its a little excessive at times. You can be real in a polite way, but if y'all like it I love it.

@ Breanna - As you can see, I tried to give you advice that would be helpful and try to steer you from getting defensive. No one has come at you with cruel intentions. When you tell people to "get out" or call people "rude." That is when people start to come at you and the WW community and support is strong. When you come at one, you've come at all. I hate that no one was thoughtful enough to throw you a bridal shower but I wish you the best and I hope you stay calm after the next 300 comments because of how you just reacted.

@Novak, I have no idea what I am doing. As I get closer to my date, the list of things I have no clue about is growing bigger and bigger.

How much do I tip vendors typically? Am I supposed to get a gift for MIL? Who pays for hair/makeup for bridesmaids? Do I give my FH a gift? Since we're having ushers break down chairs do i tip them?