Should i cancel my wedding

I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Don’t feel guilty. You are entitled to celebrate your special occasion and happy times. No one should try to take that away from you and your and FH.
Bottom line is life goes on.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much.

I can only imagine the grief you and your family are experiencing. However, completely compromising your happiness and dreams for the "what if" of something tragic happening isn't your responsibility. I'm sure your family is going through their own individual grief and your mom may be honing in on the possibility that he may not be in family photos, your sister might be thinking about how he probably cant be a groomsman. even should the worst happen that doesnt preclude you from being able to have a joyful wedding.

Get photos with him now, do special things together to make sure he knows he's loved and cherished. Have him involved in as much wedding prep now as you can and honor him at the eventual wedding. Thats the best you can do, and I would hope and bet that your brother wouldnt want you catering your life plans and happiness around his health.

I would also consider having a really candid conversation and talking with a counselor or therapist about how to draw effective boundaries with your family members surrounding conversations about the wedding. Let them know that you are all going through your own grieving process, but that them suggesting your wedding isnt also important makes you feel hurt and as though they dont care about you. If they cannot stop with the negative talk, you need to set boundaries that you are no longer willing to have discussions regarding the topic.

You definitely aren't being selfish and you deserve the wedding you want. You can't make everyone happy and plan your wedding for everyone else. Make yourself and your future spouse happy!

I'm so very sorry to hear what your family is going through, but you definitely aren't selfish for having the wedding of your dreams. The ones being selfish are your mom and sister. It sounds like whatever is wrong with your brother has completely consumed your family's life which is understandable, but I would think your brother wouldn't want you to continue to put your happiness on hold or change plans because of him. If I were him, I wouldn't expect my entire family to put their life on hold. I do pray he gets better, but you shouldn't put your marriage/wedding off in the event he would pass away.

You’re also not the only one getting married. What about FH and his family? It’s a sad situation but you already made an accommodation. Again, you have another family in the mix plus your FH. Do you. Whoever wants to be there will be there.

Obviously you should cancel the wedding, and I wonder how you can expect the people in your family to be happy for you right now. Do you really think your parents would enjoy a wedding if they had lost their son a few days earlier? What if he was on the verge of death just days before your wedding? I'm sorry if this comment gets deleted but YOUR BROTHER is losing his life at 28 YEARS old and you think about the fact that you won't be able to have the wedding like you want to? What do you expect, for your parents to dance and eat carefree knowing they have a dying child at 28? If you had any respect for your parents, your brother, and your family, you would postpone the celebration in a couple of years and get married in a courthouse right now.

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All I gotta say to this is WOW, how insensitive can you be, yes her parents are losing a child, but she's losing her sibling. Good lord have a smidge of compassion here.

From the sounds of the poster, her brother has been in this situation for at least two years now, doctors don't know how long he has left, he could hang on another 10 years or pass tomorrow, I had a great aunt kicked out of hospice care cause she just wouldn't die when they told her she was going to. This poor girl is supposed to put her whole life on hold for something that may or may not happen in the foreseeable future.

The thing with terminal illnesses, you can grieve through time, you don't have to wait for the person to pass to begin the grieving process so she may have already processed and grieved the inevitable loss of her brother while her parents are hanging on and have not started their grieving process yet and that's OK everyone grieves differently. Also grief is life long, you will ALWAYS be grieving your loved one, her brother could pass tomorrow and her parents could still not be ready to have a celebration without him 5 years down the road and still be unable to enjoy it. Is this poor girl supposed to put her whole life on hold to accommodate how others grieve?

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This is highly insensitive. Its not like she knows the date of his passing with foresight and is choosing the have the wedding the day after. She has no obligation to put her life on hold for a potential tragedy. Anyone can suffer a tragedy at any moment. My grandfather was on life support and in hospice 4 times over the course of 2 years before he died but we couldnt stop living our lives. Of course OP is compassionate towards her family, shes also losing a brother. I hope your comment does get deleted out because this is honestly so vile of you.

View Quoted Comment You know you are supposed to reply to the person who opened the post not to me. It’s not vile, people have opinions, she asked if she was selfish, I said yes. I love my sister and if she was about to die a big celebration would be the last of my thoughts. But I understand that most people nowadays don’t care about anything, not even family.

View Quoted Comment Am I the insensitive one? She asked for opinions, I gave mine. Apparently her sister and mom both think that celebrating a wedding in such a bad situation is out of the question and wouldn’t feel comfortable with that.

View Quoted Comment You sound like a fun person to be around.
Uncompassionate definition: devoid of feeling, sympathy or Compassion.

Oh dear trust me I am. I may not have compassion for strangers but she doesn’t feel compassion for her own brother & family. She asked for honest opinions, otherwise I would have never said what I said.

Definitely not selfish in my opinion, you've been waiting and unfortunately, things may seem bleak for your brother and family. You have a few options tho. Such as the courthouse wedding and making it intimate for you and your FH. Take photos in a nice park, do a mini moon, then having a larger wedding later on and renewing your vows. You can also have a smaller more intimate kind of wedding (for example with like 15 people if you have as many) and have it streamed for your brother and other family. Just food for thought.. if you also search, there are tons of other options with a sick family member being including in a wedding. (Like the one story of the grandma who was sick before the wedding, they took the wedding to her at the hospital) But being the fact that your mom and sister are saying you should postpone, ask your FH what he thinks, it's his wedding too. Best of love hun