Should i cancel the wedding

Love yourself enough to know that you deserve better. cheating is a deal breaker for me the first time. i don't care what the excuse, i won't forgive you. A ring might make it easier and planning a wedding might be the fun frilly thing to get your mind off of the lack of trust, but once you're married and things get rough.. things will fall apart unfortunately. get out now while you have the time. i think it's worth letting go of the money and the planning you've already done to find someone who truly loves you. i'm sorry this is happening to you

I'm so sorry you are going through this. cheating is an end all for me. you definitely deserve better. but if you are sure you want to be with him still then i would definitely suggest counseling. cheating is a hard thing to get over. you will never fully trust him again.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Take it from someone who has made this mistake. my ex and I had our son early on in life, we were together for 5 years before he proposed. After he proposed I caught him sneaking around with other women, smoking & drinking etc. I chose to stay because I loved him and he was my son's father. Fast forward 13 years and married for 7 of them we are going through a nasty divorce and custody battle. Those 7 years he cheated on me multiple times, lied, manipulated and abused me and let his family manipulate and abuse me as well.. He now has restricted supervised visitations with our 3 children and a protection order in place. We tried couples counseling multiple times but he never changed. I'm not saying your situation will end up this way but continuing to trust someone after they have broken that trust is a HUGE mistake. Leaving my ex was the best decision I have ever made, I was able to find the true love of my life and am happier than ever. I think you know what the right decision is for you. Love yourself more than him. Think about what you want and will make you happy. I wish you the best of luck

These are all unfortunately bad signs, he should not have a need to be texting girls that he met anywhere let alone meeting up with them to have drinks and what not behind your back.

I have one male co-worker that I am good friends and sometimes we get dinner and drinks and my hubby always knows when I am out and who I am with because I don't have a problem with telling him the truth.

Prior to meeting my hubby I was in a 9 year relationship with a man who made me forget who I really was because he lied so much that I just became this big blob of nothing, it got to a point where I was not in control of myself anymore because what he wanted and how he feel is more important than me.

Did he get defensive because you looked in his phone or because you found out something he did not want you to?

Does he ever look through your phone?

It's a circle, he'll try and make YOU feel bad for something HE did. Once you feel an ounce of bad for him, he's off the hook and he'll do something to make you happy and things will be back to normal.

When he cheated did you find out? Or did he straight up tell you he was cheating?

I feel like you should not be heading into a wedding right now, at least not until somethings are cleared up and of course if you feel like you should continue. For just this moment consider your happiness only, do you want to be worried about this forever if you marry him without fixing this problem? What if it happens again when you're married? Put yourself first.

This happened to me about four years ago. I was engaged to a man who cheated. Leaving him and calling off the wedding was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, but also the best decision I ever made in my life. I’m now married to an incredible man! We met and were engaged 9 months later. Sometimes I think back to how I felt when I called off my wedding and thank god I was strong enough to go through with calling it off, cos I’d never know love like I do now if I hadn’t. If you don’t want to jump at the decision to call it off ( huge decision) why not cushion it by postponing? The pressure coming off will help you make a decision more clearly. I was utterly humiliated to have to tell my guests it was cancelled and to know everyone was talking about me, but ultimately this is your life and you have to do what’s right for you.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Only you know what is best for you to do. You have to trust the man you are marrying if you don’t then I think you know what to do. It’s hard though.


With my husband I have absolute faith. He never hides anything from and I hide nothing from him. I don’t ever feel the need to go through his phone since he makes me feel secure in our marriage. The man you are marrying should do the same. You are worth it.
I think it’s clear what he’s talking to those girls about but again you are the one who knows him. Is it better to lose the money or potentially continue to feel like you don’t trust him?

I see everyone's point of view in this discussion board. Ladies:
Here is my experience.
I have a fiancee and In the beginning, he would cheat on me on text. He would text catfishes photos and stuff. Yes i was angry yes i threw hands. (NOT RECOMMENDED)

So yes I feel your pain. I really do. Yes I agree with the girls.After being cheated on trust is broken.

However, I didnt throw in the towel. We seeked counseling. We saw a therapist and a counselor. (Also a priest)
And we are still working it out. Im building my trust again and his behavoir has ceased.
What Im getting at is. Sit him down and tell him your feelings. However dont say it in a confrontational way. Say it in a calm way. And maybe you guys can seek counseling to see if this can be fixed. Dont give up hope.XoxoxoxAnd Mr FH,Your messing up a great future with this beautiful soul.
So my advice for you FH is

I don’t see how you could go through with a marriage to someone that you do not trust (with very good reason). To me, trust and communication are the most important parts of a relationship and it seems that is something you two are lacking. I know it is hard, but I would cancel the wedding. I think continuing to work in your relationship, if that is what you want, and seeing if he can be faithful is very important. Based on what you’ve described above, it does not seem like he can be loyal to you and I would not want to commit my life to someone who doesn’t seem capable to do the same to me.

I really hate to say it, but he doesn’t seem like the man you deserve. He sounds really sketchy, especially since he cheated on you once. In my opinion, cheating shouldn’t even be a thought when you want to marry someone or even just be with them. I would get out of the situation

I truly believe that a relationship can grow after a cheating scandal happens - if it never happens again. BUT with that said, often times it continues to happen. "Once a cheater always a cheater" is so common because it is, a lot of times, true. So while some couples can grow after cheating happens, it is important to know that not all can. A lot of times the cheater will think "if s/he let me get away with something THIS huge, then I can definitely get away with it again." And honestly, I don't want to make assumptions but it definitely seems like he may still be interested in other women... Again, I don't want to go calling a stranger a cheater, but as I only know this part of the story, it seems suspicious to me. Any engaged or taken man who is planning on meeting a woman without at-least mentioning it to his fiance is probably hiding something (same goes for a woman hiding something from her man). Especially if he's cheated before. With that said, my fiance has numerous female friends, but the difference is that when he's going to see them for drinks or for whatever reason, he tells me about it beforehand and I trust him because of that. If he didn't have anything to hide, why wouldn't he have mentioned it to you?....

Honestly girl, I say love yourself and cancel. Who knows, maybe you cancelling will scare him back into acting right, but do you really want to get married to someone who is clearly still playing around and thinks you'll always be there no matter what he does?

I personally would cancel. Been there, done that, not interested in a relationship like it ever again. I wouldn't want to enter into a marriage with someone I don't trust.


He's mad because you looking through his phone shows that you still don't trust him? He broke your trust and either has to live with however long it takes you to feel okay or he needs to not be in the relationship. Being mad at you for that is blame shifting. He's trying to make you feel guilty to take the attention away from the real issue..which is his behavior. It's not okay.
You deserve better..and there is better out there. Believe me. I settled for someone who treated me poorly (cheating, emotional abuse, etc.) for over a decade. I can't get that time back. The best decision I ever made was to leave. I was miserable. I wasn't me. I didnt see it for so long and one day it just clicked. So many anxiety filled years spent wondering who he was talking to, who he would cheat on me next with, why I wasn't invited out with him and his friends..etc. I had to learn how to be okay with being okay after him.
I'm with someone who actually loves me. The difference in this relationship from what I'm used to is insane. I'm so much happier now. I'm supported and respected. I wish that for you.
Best of luck. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.