Basically, my fiancé and I want to get married ASAP (like the end of this month) in a very small ceremony (immediate family only followed by a brunch/lunch) but my parents are trying to convince us to wait until after my sister's wedding (5 months away), so at least 6 months from now, and to have something more formal/‘special’ at that time, because my mom has a lot going on at work (working nights & weekends for her day job), she’s getting surgery over the summer, and she’s very busy planning my sister's wedding that has been ‘in the works’ since last November (it’s a giant wedding).
All I want is to get married and start TTC. We would have gone to the courthouse by now if it wouldn’t cause a family meltdown. My mom doesn’t understand why we’re ‘rushing’, even though I’ve tried to explain it many times- I’ve been waiting to start a family for 3 years, ever since I knew I wanted to marry my partner, I’ve just been waiting for him to get emotionally/mentally ready which he is now. I want to have a lot of kids, and want to start as soon as possible.
My mom also said I really shouldn't get pregnant before my sister's wedding because then I would be standing up with my sister as Maid of Honor while being pregnant, and it would look bad to people, as in people would judge our family and think I had a shotgun wedding, or wonder why I couldn’t just wait a few months. I truly don’t care what anyone who would judge me for being pregnant would think about it. She also brought up that she already bought me my MoH dress, which she insisted on at the time. I told her I’m not going to delay stating my family just bc of a dress, or how it’ll ‘look’ to her family and friends.
My fiancé's parents also think we should get married and start TTC as soon as we’re ready. They’re nothing but supportive, but my mom says that’s just bc they’re the parents of the groom, and it’s different with daughters.
I’m wondering if you think my parents are right in that I should delay my wedding/TTC by 6 months, or if this really isn’t their call. I can see both sides, but I feel that at the end of the day, she was able to have her life and her wedding (multiple, actually) and I should have the final call on when I start a family. My parents told my fiancé and me that they would always feel some amount of animosity toward us if we get married & have a baby sooner than they want us to, but I also don’t think I’d forgive my parents for manipulating me into delaying my life events for half a year because they are too busy and think it's wrong for me to get married before my sister. Btw, my sister told me that she does not mind, but my mom said she's just being nice about it. Any advice would be really helpful.️
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