Should i keep them as my bridesmaids

I think you should just drop both of them. Clearly the relationship isn’t really working out between you and them. I’m sure there’s fault on both sides but that’s a irrelevant. We’re specifically talking about your wedding day. Your bridesmaids don’t approve of the person that you’re marrying. I’d say that’s a pretty big issue. I’m surprised you would even want them there in the first place.

I don’t think you are overreacting at all. You’ve tried talking to them multiple times it sounds like and they don’t seem to value your feelings or your company. It’s hard letting old relationships go but in my opinion it might be for the best in this case. Even before covid they were phasing you out and making excuses, they don’t like your fiancé, one causes drama for you because no one else can ever dare to use the color green for their wedding but her. I advise you let them know (NOT via text or social Media) that you don’t appreciate being treated this way. If they are good friends they will hear you out and try to improve. If their reaction however is dismissive and half-hearted, I think it might be time to move on and remove them as bridal party. You want support and love surrounding for your wedding.

I don’t think it’s over reacting at all. They kind of sound like they haven’t been good friends .

I agree. It’s painful and unfortunate, but as we age our friendships change and sometimes we just grow in different directions. It doesn’t sound like they are supportive or even want to celebrate with you, and especially on your wedding day you want to be surrounded by people who love and care about you. I’m sorry you’re hurting, but it doesn’t sound like this situation is going to get any better, and it may be better to just end it now rather than drag it out and continue to be hurt.

If they're not supportive of your relationship then they shouldn't be at the wedding. Period. Much less part of the bridal party. Is there any particular reason why they don't like your fiancé?

I honestly would feel the same way about the hanging out situation. But the even bigger issue is that they don't like your FH and even said he couldn't come when you were supposed to see them on July 4th. Unless it was an all girls thing, that's not ok. You guys are about to be married so you're a package deal. And I personally wouldn't want anyone standing with me on the day who doesn't like my FH or support our marriage. Also, sounds like there might be some jealousy going on too, but I could be wrong.

View Quoted Comment When they first met him the night was really awkward and he didn’t make a good impression but after he sent them both a text to apologize, and when we were going through a rough patch a year ago and I was thinking of maybe walking away from the relationship and then decided to stay and work it out my friends were upset that I didn’t break up with him. And me and him r amazing now and he’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met but they could never get passed these two incidents.

Nope. These girls are not being mature and you don’t need that in your life or marriage. Drop them.

Cut them both from the bridal party and your guest list. Attendants are emotionally supportive of you and your relationship with your fiance. These girls are not.

View Quoted Comment So my thoughts are that the hanging out thing is garbage. That would be enough for me to walk away. They're being childish and cruel.


I think given what you said about him making a bad impression, then you guys being far away (so not diluting the bad first impression with more hangout memories) and on top of that you being so fed up with him that you were considering walking away from the relationship make their feelings about your fiancé understandable. That doesn't mean they're right, but it doesn't make them unsupportive friends either, given that the majority of the information they have about your fiancé is negative. We all have a tendency to ask for advice and be vocal when things aren't going well, but then not talk about positives when those happen. Everyone is guilty of it. That being said, if they're not supportive of the relationship, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense for them to be at your wedding, which is a celebration of the relationship. Maybe talk to them about your concerns and hurt feelings, but, as long as your fiancé has never done anything abusive (mentally, physically, emotionally, cheating) then you two are a package deal.

It sounds like while you were away, they solidified their friendship and moved on to new friends, and have no real place for you. If you are feeling like you do not want to work at recovering the friendship, don't be rude or mean in your tone. Just admit that you are not feeling much friendship from them, or toward them, and you think things have run their course. This is a very common thing . Spend time with people you and FI both get along with, and will see together. It is sad when this happens, but few friendships last a lifetime without interruption. Move on. You will be happier for it.

It’s hard with friendships of three. Two will always be closer and likely want to hang out on their own. I can sort of understand them keeping their Friday night tradition. That said, the way they have handled this whole situation is very poor. They easily could’ve told you they wanted to maintain their Friday night tradition with each other. The constant exclusion is not okay, and it’s very hurtful that they excluded you because someone else said she didn’t want you around.


How much do they know about your fiancé? A lot of the time, friends will take a dislike to friend’s significant others because they’re the ones who hear the venting. Most people vent to their friends and seek advice when things aren’t going well, but rarely do they brag to them when things are going well. That means friends only hear the bad stuff more often than not. It’s a common social practice because no one wants to shove the good stuff in others’ faces. Unfortunately, that can lead to friends writing the person off entirely, especially if they haven’t gotten to know him in person.
I do think that you really need to ask yourself what you want from this situation. Do you see yourself keeping these girls in your life? Do you want to? If so, you really need to have a heart to heart with them and they need to make some major changes. Being honest with you and moving on from past issues with your fiancé would be a start. If you do not see this happening, it could be time to let go. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends if they’re not good to you anymore. Friendship breakups suck. They really do. They hurt a lot, sometimes more than romantic breakups, but you cannot keep holding onto something that isn’t healthy because you’re afraid to let go.

Always trust your gut! It will never fail you. Take their cold shoulder as an sign for you to exit gracefully. I’m sure it will still hurt for a while but those kind of “friends” always need you later on. If they don’t like him and can’t respect you guys friendship enough to have that big girl sit down then save yourself the stress and heartache. They don’t deserve to be apart of your wedding, let alone invited. That’s not cool! Hope things do get better for you all and if not I hope you are comfortable and at peace with all of your decisions. ❤️🤗

They should be removed as friends and bridesmaids. The people standing beside you should be in full support and happy for your union.

Sounds like they never left middle school to be honest. They seem like bad friends. I think it’s very odd that they still hung out on Friday after saying they’d rather hangout on Saturday. I’d cut them from your wedding! You don’t need the stress of worrying about them being rotten on your special day.

Drop them !!! If they aren’t happy for you do not waste your times chasing them. I started with 9 bridesmaids all girls i knew for 15+ years now i only have 6. It shouldn’t be this hard if they are your true friends.

View Quoted Comment This sounds like a story

Girl you gotta give your love, time, and friendship to people who appreciate you as much as you appreciate them. Relationships definitely change over time and that's ok. You don't need all this extra stress on you during this season. I hope that you have loving friends who love you and your FH and spend time investing in you guys. That's what you deserve.

You have every right to be upset. It definitely seems like that relationship is about done. I went through this with my ex best friend. She was always a good friend when we were in school together but once we graduated she became an entitled jealous person towards me. And after high school we kind of drifted apart and only hung out once a year when she needed something from me. She's been with her boyfriend for 10 years and no ring and I was with my fiance for 2 years when we got engaged. She was pissed that I said yes to the proposal because apparently I have no right to get married before her since she was with her man the longest 🙄. Then I show her the ring and tell her it was his grandmothers ring and she responded with "I knew it, I told my mom that ring was a hammy down." with all that I decided she wasn't going to be my maid of honor. Of course when she found out she wasn't going to be the maid of honor she was pissed because apparently it was on her bucket list to be every friends maid of honor and I ruined it. So then I told her I had enough of her crap and that I'm an adult and don't need someone like her wasting space in my life. So I know what you are going through. It sucks but life's to short to have crappie people taking up space, time, and adding stress to your life. Your better of with out them trust me. Not every friendship is meant to last forever.

View Quoted Comment Lol yes i will do a story time soon.