Should I let them bring their boyfriends??

They are in their 20's... I believe 24 and 28 or so. The older one is an on again off again relationship... They got back together late this summer after a long break up. The younger one is kind of the family joke when it comes to relationships. She's all hot and heavy and in love with a new guy every year-year and a half. She's been seeing this guy for about 6-8 months or so. The family thought is that she more or less just loves being in love... And posting it all over Facebook. The third cousin (the one with the boyfriend who we have met) has been in a relationship with him for at least going on a year and they do live together.

We didn't send any invites and guest, and our plus ones were pick and choose. I invted a group of women that I volunteer with and we are all really close but I didn't invite their SO's and they are all fine with it and looking forward to a girls night out. But I did tell my wedding party that depending on the RSVP no's that they could get a plus one. Now one of my BM's is in a great relationship so I was thrilled when I could tell her she could bring him.

I think it depends on the relationship. I have a lot of guests that I am allowing to bring their BF/GF. I determind it by how long they had been dating when I mailed the invites out. If they only dated a few months then no. Just use your best judgement. Only you know what you can and can not do with your budget.

Agree with PPs that if they are in a relationships, they should be extended a plus one. Have you received at least 2 no RSVPs? If so, you should have room to accommodate them.

We've not received any RSVPs yet... We just sent the invitations out last Thursday and Saturday. I was thinking the same thing about letting them if there are no's, but then where do I stop with that? FH has a friend who is invited who has a new gf every month and I have a feeling if I say yes to a couple of people who ask about plus ones, everyone that asks him is going to be told yes. In addition to the fact that if I do it for them, others will wonder why I didn't do it for them.

I think you should invite them.

I'm thinking you can get away with saying no to the "girlfriend of the month." Plus, what are the odds that your cousins who live 2-3 hours away are going to tell everyone? You'll be fine. I think everyone has the same scenario, you are not alone.

Well my though isn't the same as others. If you invite the one boyfriend that you've met I think you should invite the other Bfs as well. I don't think it is fair to pick and choose.

Not extending plus ones to people that aren't in serious relationships happens all the time, but it can get really really tricky,

I honestly don't think its that big of a deal if you don't let them bring their boyfriends. A cousin of mine has a boyfriend that she has never really talk to me about, that I am not inviting. She is always in a new relationship so I don't know how serious this is so I don't feel like wasting my money on him.

It really comes down to whatever you feel comfortable with. I know with my budget I cannot let a lot of people bring a plus one. But if you can afford it and feel like you should then do it. If you don't want to invite them, then don't.

Another person here who disagrees with Katie. Sorry. I would love to invite significant others, but our venue only holds 200. If we were going to let everyone who has a significant other bring them, we would have to cut guests from out list who actuall mean something to us, and that just can't happen. We are going to invite significant others of guests who we have met/ are important to us. Unfortunately, that is the way it has to be for us. I would love to allow everyone who has a significant other to bring them, but that just can't happen. However, for us, we are lucky in that we have very few guests who have significant others who we have not met- and we are not super close to them so I don't feel too awful telling them no to their significant others. I think it just depends on how close you are to the original guest as well. The guests on our list who have significant others we have not met, we are clearly not super close to (or we'd have met their SO). Judge it that way...

I'm in the same situation. If they are married, without a doubt they will have their SO there. If they have a bf/gf I will decide when the rsvp's come in. If the budget doesn't allow u to add people don't, I would tell my aunt right now no they cannot bring guest.

Kate et al: There is a huge difference between someone who would be considered an SO and a casual dating relationship. If a couple is living together then by all means they should both be invited, If a couple has been dating and seem to be getting serious then by all means they should both be invited. However if a couple does not live together and has been together less than six months and the host has never met the other person the host is not obligated to invite this person.

No one here has an unlimited budget and at some point you have to draw a line. And arbitrarily a sensible line is "if I didnt know that person even was a part of your life and you are a part of my life" then they do not need an invite. And I am sorry if we are talking about underage people then there is never an obligation to include the other persons boyfriend or girlfriend.

To OP I would say do what you feel most comfortable with.

@MrsDrakthal -- as someone who did not believe in living together before marriage, how would you have defined my relationship with my current husband 6 months in? because that would have been right before we got engaged so we were obviously serious

i'm just curious

I agree with others that you should always invite guests who are 18 and older with their significant other (if they have one). True "plus ones" (meaning you tell someone they can bring a guest, whoever they want) are up to you, but inviting someone's SO is NOT a plus one. I know it can get tricky with people who have a "flavor of the week," but a good line to follow is if the person considers themselves in a relationship, then they are invited with their SO. I am not in the business of judging other people's relationships. If they say they are in a relationship, that's good enough for me.

OP, it sounds like your cousins should probably have been invited with their boyfriends. I think it was pretty rude of your aunt to call and ask you--if these girls were that concerned, they should have asked you themselves.

Depends on how well I knew you and whether I knew he existed or not. If I knew you well enough that you were in the first 30 or 40 people I added to the guestlist but did not know about him then he would not have gotten invited. If I knew the two of you and thought you two were serious then I would have invited him.

Once you were engaged it is a no brainer, living together or not then he would get an invite.

We were unsure of whether a particular friend of ours was serious with his current boyfriend when we sent out invitations so we gave him a plus one the comment that we heard a few weeks later that kind of bothered me was "Guess I will have to find someone to bring with".

For the most part I am of the opinion that if you cannot actually secure the name for the invitation then you are under no obligation to invite that person. (Mr Ted Drewes and Miss Kate Moss versus Mr Ted Drewes and Guest).

I would say to invite the one guy you know and want to invite. The other two maybe suggest they can have their significant others attend after dinner has been served. I was one of those cousins at 18 years old and the bride allowed me to have my boyfriend come for the dancing and I thought it was great and so did he.

We're also facing a tricky situation. FH has two cousins who each have a boyfriend. One we like and is a great, nice guy. The other...well...we just don't want him there. So we told them both they can't bring a date. But we secretly want to allow the one cousin to bring her bf. We want to be consistent but we don't want to cause hurt feelings.

!00% Agree with @Kate.

We're sticking to the "cousins who are in a serious relationship (aka over a year AND we have met the person) can bring their significant other" just to cut down on confusion. We have two cousins who are in their 30s who have been with their boyfriends for quite some time and invited those guys. The other single cousins are SOL just because of budget.

Theres a diffrence between a hookup and a bf/gf. If you know the couple has only been together for 5 months or less there's no need to invite their bf/gf but if they have been together for more than a year I think its really rude not to give them a plus 1, I'm sure if they would invite you and they didn't invite your bf you would not go and be upset. Its common courtesy.