Should Married Women Tone Down Their Sexy?

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Provocative. Granted I don't dress like I am amish but I definitely don't consider how I dress sexy by any means. I dress very casual and conservative.

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Oh, I see, thank you for clarifying. I consider myself to dress fashionably and I'm curvy so I'm sure some people consider it "sexy". I don't dress for the attention of men so I don't concern myself with being sexy too much.

I think you should be the person you are, whatever that means.

Personally, I pole dance as a hobby and post videos of myself half naked on the internet. That won't change once I'm married.

My FH loves it and loves the confidence it gives me, and trusts that even if I get attention I won't pursue anything (cuz I choose him every day). He's not insecure or jealous like that.

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I definitely think that you should really know the person you're with and be comfortable with them before marriage because you shouldn't expect them to change. This is a stretch but if your partner was a dancer (male or female) when you met them and you were okay with it, why should they have to stop once you're married? It's one thing if it was their decision due to growth, a change in financial circumstances, or whatever but to force them to stop after marriage would be weird and controlling.

Heck no! FH loves me the way I am. We have been together for 11 years and I have definitely toned the sexy down a bit in that time. That’s only because I’ve gotten older and my style and tastes have become a bit more refined. It’s definitely not because of FH.

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It's definitely important to love your spouse the way they are.

I'm not married yet and I wouldn't say "pressured" for me is the right word, but it's finding a balance of respecting my fiance and our relationship and being true to who am I. When I was younger I definitely dressed more provocative because I was young and it was kind of my personality but now I struggle with my body type associated with being "sexy" and having to tone it down to make my fiance not feel like I'm trying to get attention.

Being married won't change the way I dress one bit. I have always and will always dress for myself, in a way that makes me feel good and never dress for others. I have been with my fiance for 12 years and he would never dream of dictating the way I dress. If I'm going out with friends and want to show a little leg or whatever it's a non issue. To me marriage does not mean ownership, no one gets a say in how I present myself and if I decide to be a little "provocative" it's not disrespectful to my man because he doesn't own my body.

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::applause::

I completely agree with all of this.

I dress how I want when I want before and after getting married. I would never feel the need to change myself for anyone else and if anyone else expects me to then I would happily show them the door.

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This is a great response, I completely agree.

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I agree that marriage doesn't mean ownership, to me it means partnership. In marriage you represent your partner.

View Quoted Comment I would change certain things about myself for the betterment of my marriage as long as that willingness to compromise goes both ways.

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I just don't see why marriage would change the way you represent your partner. We have been committed and respectful of each other throughout these 12 years of our relationship. We are choosing to get married because of this so I don't see why we would change after marriage. If you aren't being respectful of your partner before marriage then you probably shouldn't be getting married. To me, respect is not defined by my wardrobe. Also sexy is incredibly subjective. In my profile photo there is some cleavage, is that too sexy for a married woman?? If all of a sudden my husband said that shirt was inappropriate or disrespectful to him it would make no sense to me.

I do not indent to change at all who I am just because I got married. My husband met me how I am and loves me just like that. If anything I’ll be even more sexy now for him, keep things spicy. Of course there are many different ways and definitions of sexy.

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In my opinion, marriage is more sacred than a typical boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I'm not necessarily referring to changing my clothes when I said I would change for my marriage, but as I mentioned in one of my previous comments, I dress less provocative when my husband is not around to avoid unwanted attention. Although I don't totally agree, I respect your opinion on this matter.

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It's definitely important that he loves you the way you are before marriage because he knows what he's getting after marriage.

Nope, not at all. I don't dress so other people find me attractive, I dress for me. If I want to wear something sexy its because I want to feel sexy, not so that someone else would see me as such. I typically walk around in a T-shirt from a hockey tournament and jeans so if I'm feeling myself one night and want to wear something a little tight or a little cleavagy than you better believe that's what I am going to do. My marriage does not strip me of my sexuality, however I choose to express it.

A sexy outfit didn't mean I was available for sex to anyone who asked before the wedding. I don't see why it should mean that after the wedding.

I don't tend to dress in an overtly sexy manner in general. (I'm 65 now, and I doubt most people would consider any style of dress sexy at my age!) But nothing in that respect changed when I got married.

The only time I dress "sexy" is when I have my tshirt and panties on in bed with my FH. Hahaha I never dress "sexy" I am a pretty casual person.