Should Married Women Tone Down Their Sexy?

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Thank you for sharing.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this 100%.

Sometimes I will dress provocative if I am going out at night or something. Don't see it changing. I wear things that make me feel good not for other people. My FH doesn't care either way. He will just be like "damn you look good!" I don't think someone should prevent you from wearing what you want. I guess everyone has their own opinion of what "provocative" is either way. If he asked me not to wear something, I would probably start laughing because it's just not him. At the same time, all people should have respect for themselves and know when certain things are appropriate at certain times.

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The more that I think about it, the more I realize that I really only dress sexy when I'm out with my husband.

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I really like your perspective on this topic.

If men aren't respecting your marriage out in public, they're the problem. You do you.

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I find it difficult to expect people to respect my marriage because they didn't make those vows, my husband and I did. Instead, I take on the responsibility of respecting my marriage by representing myself as a married woman. To me that means I cover up a little more when my husband is not around and if I'm approached by a man I don't really entertain the conversation.

I'm just curious as to why people think they need to change AFTER marriage.

...Isn't your FS marrying you because of who you are, now?
Why would you change the way you dress, just because you got married? Why would you change anything fundamental about yourself, unless you felt something you are now was fundamentally wrong?

I never feel pressured to tone anything down. He would never ask me to and I don't understand why me being married would change how I dress.

I have always dressed "conservatively", so there was no "toning down" for me. I do believe that women should dress how they want as long as their SO is fine with it. The main issue is respecting their SO, and as long as they respect their SO and not portraying themselves as single, women should dress how they want.

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THIS. THANK YOU.

View Quoted Comment This made me laugh because men approach me sometimes when I’m taking my two children to the library or lunch or whatever. It’s so confusing to me, even if I was a single mom I’m out with my kids, I’m obviously not looking for a date.

I’m typically a pretty casual dresser, and the times that I dress up it’s generally for my FH’s benefit. For me, I think it’s a combination of being older now and being a parent, I just don’t feel comfortable showing a lot of cleavage taking my kids to the park etc. My FH would never tell me how to or how not to dress, and while I do enjoy dressing up for him (and for me), there’s an appropriate way to dress in different settings: Date night versus preschool drop off, girls night out versus family reunion, etc. I won’t change anything just because I’m married, I mean I’ve been in a committed relationship for 6.5 years now.

I think I’m already very toned down given that I have always dressed conservatively. But I don’t think your relationship status should change your outward appearance other than the lack of or presence of a ring on your finger.

I’ve never been one to dress sexy as I’m uncomfortable with such displays. I love and live in jeans, t’s, my converse’s or boots.

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I agree that your spouse should marry you for who you are. However, I also believe that marriage matures you and causes you to compromise for the sake of the relationship. For some people that compromise might come in the form of dressing more modestly, for others it might be toning down profanity or going out less. I never really dressed "sexy" in the first place, but I don't really wear revealing clothing unless I'm out with my husband as to not attract the attention of other men.

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If your husband is not bothered by anything you wear and you feel comfortable in your clothing then I don't believe you should tone anything down.

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I agree that the concern with clothing is respect for your partner and how you present yourself to others.

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How can you force someone else to respect your marriage besides representing yourself like a married woman?

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👏 Exactly!