Should Married Women Tone Down Their Sexy?

View Quoted Comment

I feel the same, I would find it extremely offensive if anyone tried to dictate the way I dress or behave! My FH has told me he doesn't care how I dress as long as no one else touches me inappropriately. I will dress the same way after we get married. The only reason why I changed the way I dressed was because we have kids but I still wear my tank tops that show off my cleavage and my Fh has no issues with it, he tells me I have them why wouldn't want to show them off lol. If a man is going to hit on you, he's going to hit on you regardless of what you are wearing. You could be dressed sexy or wearing clothes that covers you head to toe and guys will still find you attractive and hit on you!

Of course there is, but it’s just not me as it makes me feel uncomfortable

View Quoted Comment I understand you meant no ill will but the simple fact that there is societal pressure for a married woman to be more modest is, in itself, extremely problematic and sexist. No one is out here asking men this question. It also feels exceptionally heteronormative, intentional or not.
I understand this was not your intention and societal issues cannot be placed on one person and don't hold that against you.

View Quoted Comment Exactly!! Regardless of clothing- people will act how they're going to. Plus, skin =/= an invitation! This is how we get victim blaming! Glad to hear you dress how you want and your FH is supportive! I agree- if you got it and you wanna flaunt it- flaunt! Lol.

View Quoted Comment

Its not just showing off skin, I am 4'9 with DDs so they look huge and if I wear tight fitting shirts it looks like I'm trying to show them off without meaning too so how am I suppose to "tone down" how I physically look? The only reason I don't wear my short shorts is cause I have a 1 yr old and a 3 yr old. But married or not I will wear what I want to wear regardless of what anyone has to say and my FH says if they have a problem with the way I dress then that is their problem not mine. And if i choose to dress "sexy" its because I want to feel sexy not to show off. I am a mother of 2 and there are days where i want to look HOT! And if anyone has an issue with it they can kiss my sexy butt

View Quoted Comment Yas gurl!! I understand that- my sister has a similar build and guys always hit on her regardless if clothing and like you said, she CAN'T "tone down" any of that!!
I'm loving your energy- I feel the same!!

View Quoted Comment I feel strongly about this because this kinda of thinking is the reason why young girls are being told they are responsible for guys not being able to control their-selves which is utter crap and that when they decide to get married then they have to change who they are. I have a son and a daughter and i refuse to let either of them think that way. My FH is proof that men can control themselves even when I dressed provocatively to try to get him to make the first move he was always a gentlemen lol ( I had to make the first move). Plus if women have to tone down their "sexy" after marriage then men should have to tone down their "hotness" No more flexing in public and always keeping their shirts on no matter how hot it gets and no excuses!!

View Quoted Comment This exactly.

View Quoted Comment Yes I mean not that I was all that into the sexy to start with. But being married will not change how I dress , act or do my make up.

View Quoted Comment So I am responsible go another mans actions. I do not care if a girl is single , engaged or has been married for 50 years. She is never ever ever ever to be help responsible fo someo else actions. It does not matter how she dresses or looks. At all ever. If I wear a low cute dress I can. I am not responsible for some jerk not respecting me as a human.

View Quoted Comment Umm I never wore a low cut top to get a mans attention. I will never go on a date with someone no matter what. Don’t you think the man
should be responsible for themself and not how I dress responsible for them? Should man wear a shirt while swimming?

View Quoted Comment

I completely agree with this! We are not responsible for someone else's behavior, plus if a guy is going to hit on you it usually has nothing to do with what you are wearing, a few years ago I was once hit on at a red box in a extremely long fluffy robe, bunny pajamas and hello kitty slippers with my hair up in a messy uncombed bun!!!

View Quoted Comment Exactly!!! Victim blaming is garbage and liquor are responsible for their OWN actions!!! I mentioned before that it was sexist af that this was directed only to at women!

View Quoted Comment This!! 🙌🏻

View Quoted Comment I completely agree that it's sexist, I mean why are we responsible for how someone else behaves? And since I find toned muscular arms sexy af does that mean it's the guys fault if I'm sitting there drooling while they are working out and lifting weights?? I mean they should know better right? The only actions I take responsibility for are my own and the actions of my kids.

View Quoted Comment Boom!! 🙌🏻 exactly! Also it auto corrected to liquor instead of people lol oops.
I hate it! It's always on the women how OTHER people act. Excuse me? No!! I'm responsible for me and agreeably, as you said, my (future/hypothetical) children!

I'm glad this post is promoting a healthy discussion.

No because my husband is secure enough to know he is my #1 and that other people may find me attractive as others for him. Not acting out on these situations is key. I dress and can dress fully clothed and men will still pay a compliment or try their luck. Sexy to me is more than clothes. A person can be sexy just by having a great attitude or wits about themselves. 🤷‍♀️

View Quoted Comment

I appreciate this perspective.

View Quoted Comment Wow, agree 100% with you and Michelle. I've been living abroad for a bit now and the cultural difference is unbelievable. Women aren't sexualized, criticized or victim blamed for male behaviour compared to back home. It's a breath of fresh air.