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FutureMrsJochum
Beginner August 2019

Should our mothers tour venues with us?

FutureMrsJochum, on October 3, 2017 at 2:20 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 63

So I feel like the subject heading is pretty much what I wanted to ask and it's probably a dumb question but FI and I have appointments to see venues over these next two weeks and I was wondering if just the two of us should go or is it pretty common or customary to have like our moms with us? Are friends and family supposed to come? I'd like for it to be just the two of us til we make a final decision but I also don't wanna break rules or anything....and that sounds silly too...help!!!!

63 Comments

Latest activity by FutureMrsN14, on October 3, 2017 at 11:09 PM
  • Sos0033
    VIP September 2017
    Sos0033 ·
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    The two of you should go.

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  • FME
    Master March 2018
    FME ·
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    There are no rules, you and FI can just go. I brought my mom with me because she is hosting the reception.

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  • N
    Devoted October 2017
    Nats ·
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    Keep it just the two of you. Maybe once you've decided or narrowed it down you can invite them for a follow-up, but otherwise it's best to keep the group small so you don't have to wade through conflicting opinions.

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  • B
    Expert July 2017
    Becky ·
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    We brought my mom, since she was paying - besides, we weren't sure if DH could be there for all the tours (and as it happened, he couldn't) so it gave me a second set of eyes

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  • JSull
    Master October 2017
    JSull ·
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    My FH and I chose ourselves.

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  • Ginggotthering
    Devoted August 2018
    Ginggotthering ·
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    FH and I toured venues first and then when we felt comfortable showing them options, my parents came to visit 3 sites. Since they are helping us with the wedding, I did want their stamp of approval of which venue gave us the best. Since then my parents have been involved with contract negotiations and such. I do not really have a relationship with FMIL so we did not include her on this decision. She did attend the photographer & videographer appointment.

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  • falkenmarried
    Expert August 2018
    falkenmarried ·
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    Whatever you are comfortable with is what you should do. If you don't want to bring them don't.

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  • Anne
    Master April 2017
    Anne ·
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    My mom and I went alone to the 7 top choices and then took DH and his parents to the top 3. My mom paid for the majority and signed the venue contract so it made sense for her to be there. His parents also paid a significant amount so I wanted them to have a say in the final decision.

    DH did not want to look at 7 venues lol so he was totally fine with me going for the initial tours.

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  • J. Clo
    Master May 2018
    J. Clo ·
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    We brought our Moms as it was their first time meeting and we felt it was the perfect opportunity. I would suggest not asking them for their opinion and leaving the decision to just you and FH.

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  • FutureMrsJochum
    Beginner August 2019
    FutureMrsJochum ·
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    Okay thank you guys so much. No we are paying for everything ourselves and I figured after we chose the venue we could always bring them...

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  • Melissa
    Expert October 2018
    Melissa ·
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    I went by myself as I don't have my mom anymore. We're paying ourself, so I didn't feel the neef to invite fmil. I plan to go back and show some of the vips like bridesmaids, close family etc. I don't think there's any solid rules unless they're helping pay.

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  • FutureMrsJochum
    Beginner August 2019
    FutureMrsJochum ·
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    Thank you guys, I just got so excited and then had a panic moment when I realized I booked 3 appointments and we haven't talked to anybody about them yet. Lol they do know we have it narrowed down to 3 venues but that's about it. I just wanted to make it about the 2 of us at least with seeing them for the first time.

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  • Kylie
    Beginner September 2020
    Kylie ·
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    Depends on who's paying for the venue and anything it may include. Anyone else's opinion doesn't matter all that much!

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  • Lacie
    Devoted September 2018
    Lacie ·
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    My mom went with FH and I during both venue tours we had. She was footing the bill for the deposit so it seemed necessary for her to be there.

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  • KatieJade
    Expert September 2018
    KatieJade ·
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    My FH was in college so finding times to fit between my school and work and his didn't always work out. I took my mom with, she helped a lot and I feel like she gives her opinion without trying to pressure me. I took my FH on tours of the top 3 places and we went from there Smiley smile

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  • Letti Hernandez
    Letti Hernandez ·
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    I own a venue and recommend that it's just the two of you for the first visit. It gets confusing with 4 or more people asking questions and giving alternate opinions. Bring your mother's to visit when you have it down to one or two choices if you want their opinions.

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  • Trevor
    Savvy January 2019
    Trevor ·
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    I can't make the venue tours so my FH and FMIL are going. I'll be sending a list of Q's and photos that I want though!

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  • Brenda
    Devoted May 2018
    Brenda ·
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    My dad went with us but we were more or less set on our venue before we'd gone to officially see it. I think if it's just the two of you it will give you the chance to really talk about the venue without getting too many opinions or persuaded into somewhere you're not sure you like.

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  • Samantha
    Beginner July 2018
    Samantha ·
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    It's up to you. We went alone and narrowed down to two and then brought my mom along to a final tour of both. After we chose the venue then we showed my dad and FILs. I think that worked out nicely.

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  • Samantha
    Beginner July 2018
    Samantha ·
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    I forgot to mention that both of our parents live all the way across the country so that probably influenced how it worked out for us. Though I still think it worked out well!

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