Should we even have a wedding?

Definitely elope. Nobody should go into debt for a wedding.

Elope! A wedding is one day, your marriage is the rest of your life. That's what matters. Going in debt to have a wedding is never worth it.

ETA: there was a bride here who did an Alaskan elopement and her pictures were to die for!! She had no regrets on their decision.

Do a destination wedding with your parents that sounds very romantic

It doesn't sound crazy at all. Traditional weddings aren't for everyone and there is a ton of inspiration on here for those thinking about just eloping.

Don't forget having about the courthouse as an option either. That will cut down on the venue cost at least. It's also one less place to decorate so you can focus all of your funds towards a decent reception.

Please see my response to the other thread about this.

If the planning process and the money involved is freaking you out?

Then plan a small, sweet wedding in the woods. (Keep in mind that you still have to feed 'whoever wants to come', so you may want to curate that list).....

You would still have a "wedding" regardless of how big or small or the setting or the cost.

But yes, you should scale it back if you're able to do so and if you want to, because you don't need to go into debt for your wedding. You should have the wedding you want, but also the wedding you can afford. My FH and I ditched our plans for a giant, local wedding, and we are having an intimate destination wedding in Hawaii now. Our parents, grandparents, FH's brothers and daughter, and my best friend and her husband are the only people being invited. It's been far less stressful and way less expensive this way, and we are so excited. The wedding and our honeymoon combined are half the cost of our original plans, which doesn't even account for the honeymoon. My parents plan to host a reception at some point after we return.

Oh yes, Kate and Celia bring up a good point I forgot to mention: you definitely need a plan on who is coming and you definitely need to feed them! We are having a dinner at a small restaurant after our ceremony to feed our guests (unlimited alcohol and cake will also be provided to our guests at dinner as well).

Lower your venue expectations. Community centers and parks (which I would assume you'd have some available) will be affordable and cheaper if not free.

Where are you located?

Destination wedding sounds beautiful too

Elope. You'll have let stress and go somewhere that you can do honeymoon to follow. Or get married at City Hall and leave right for honeymoon

Elope somewhere beautiful! All of my friends who have eloped do not regret it. No one should go into debt for a wedding

You could elope or do a destination wedding. It's not crazy if it works for you. But, if you're planning on having about 50 guests, you could look into more unconventional venues, like maybe a restaurant with a lounge or banquet room. They are generally way cheaper. You could also have your ceremony in the woods and go with that plan.

That was our original plan. We were going to rent out the lounge room at our local brewery for about 30-40 guests. We were going to have our ceremony in the woods at the park 5 minutes away. The room rental with their catering, booze, and the ceremony location rental would've costed around $5,000. That's excluding other vendors, though, like photographer and florist, etc. We didn't go with that plan because we increased our budget and guest list.

Eloping is beautiful!! However your question provides that you are considering eloping and having a reception at home. The reception is the bulk of your costs, venue and catering. So this may not solve your budget concerns. A small wedding is perfect or changing your views on the ceremony and reception locations at home.

I'd elope. Starting married life in debt is not a good foundation.

" So, we've been talking about flying out to somewhere beautiful and snowy in the woods, and getting married with just our parents and anyone else who can or wants to come... and maybe have a "reception"/celebration with everyone back home later... does that sound crazy? "

The thing is "anyone who can or wants to come" needs to be fed, so you're still going to have to have a reception of some kind after this wedding in the woods. If you want to truly save money, then elope just you and your FH. Maybe invite your parents and siblings, but you have to take them out to dinner afterwards. The point of the reception isn't for you, but for the guests who came to your ceremony. So if you have a ceremony that others witness, then those others need to be hosted.

My fiance and I had the same financial freak out.

We booked a venue that worked for the ceremony and reception, which saved on cost. We also hired a wedding planner whos services including some decorations, staff for set up and breakdown, and she was able to find us venues for under $1000 that included table and chairs. While the planner seemed like an additional cost that we couldnt afford, its actually been a cost AND stress saver.

I am going to be in the minority here and say don't elope unless you are perfectly happy with it. If you know you are going to regret it make your wedding work for you. There are lots of ways to be resourceful/DIY and make extra cash on the side also taking a small loan isn't the end of the world (do it yourselves though don't have your parents do it) if you can COMFORTABLY afford the payments. It may just be one day but it's the start of a lifetime if it's worth it to you work hard for it and you'll get that day of your dreams