Should wear Red?

I think if the bride has stated she has an issue with it, you should just exchange it. That's a bright red and it's going to make you stand out in photos. Especially if the bridal party is wearing navy blue and blush toned the the family is wearing silvers or grays.

Nope. Let one of them buy the dress if they want you in something else. Nothing will ever take away from the bride being the center of attention, no matter what a guest wears (including white).

My mother has asked me if she can wear red to my wedding as well. I told her to wear whatever color she wanted! Makes no difference to me. She could wear white for all I care.

I wouldn't want someone in red at my wedding but that's only because I feel it would clash with my wine and burgundy colors. If someone does wear red I wouldn't be crazy upset though I would just not place them near the bridesmaids in pictures

While I don’t really think the couple should tell anyone other than the bridal party what to wear, I also think this is not at all worth the drama. It’s easy enough to find a new dress and it’s a gesture that will go a long way in the future of the relationship. I wouldn’t want to start a marriage with my DIL resenting me, regardless of if I thought she was wrong or right. This is a pick you battles moment and a great one to avoid the fight.

Both my mother and FMIL asked if I had a preference. I gave suggestions, but did not demand. The are choosing colors complimentary to our wedding colors. I personally feel like the red dress is too bold and more of a "making a statement" dress. While the dress is beautiful, I would recommend looking for something more subtle.

Typically MIL wear a light neutral shade, that way they can still be quite fancy, sparkles and all, without distracting from the bride. I think a bright vibrant red is a very bold choice and is very eye catching, therefore it could take a lot of visual attention away from the bride. Save it for another occasion though, it looks gorgeous!

All the women in my family kept asking me about their dresses and I really didnt care all that much.

I will say though, you'll probably get looks. It is bright. And wearing a statement color says a lot about you, on a day that's not about you......which might not be your intention. So that's my thought 🤷‍♀️

If you haven’t already bought the dress and are looking to just avoid the drama from the other mothers lulus sells a very similar dress in burgundy. You still get the red tone and it will look great with the navy and the blush for pictures.

That red commands a lot of attention. If you are trying to be the center of attention then I think it’s great for that. There is a reason stop signs, red lights, danger signs etc are red, they are easily viewable.

I don't want to be a downer on your dress choice because it is a very beautiful gown. But unfortunately I have to agree with the B2B and the FMIL. Although your dress is pretty, just the color alone, (not to mention the off-the-shoulder look) seems to have an air of audaciousness that says, "Look at me!" all over it. Your stepson's FW is looking forward to a very special day to share with her groom, family, and friends, and I'm thinking if you want to keep a good relationship with them and all the others in the scenario, you might want to check out a less formidable color. In photos, people's eyes tend to look at the beautiful bride in her wedding gown because she is the one wearing a dress that stands out brighter than all those around her. But if there is someone who is dressed in a color that stands out, their eyes can't help but wander.....to the "Lady in Red". I've been a step-mom before, and when you do things, even unintentionally, that affect the cohesiveness of a situation, you're looking for trouble. After all, you don't want to be known as the "wicked" stepmother who chose to outdo the wedding party---especially when it was brought to her attention. I think you know what to do, because you posted this question in the first place. To me, that says you'll do the right thing---you'll look beautiful----and you'll keep the peace too! Enjoy the time with family and friends at the wedding, and wear that gorgeous gown to a New Year's Eve party---where you'll knock 'em out with that look!😍

View Quoted Comment You said it perfectly! Agree 100%. It's better to pick your battles in a situation like this. Good luck!

I have no idea what my mother, FHs mother ronny step mother are wearing (my wedding is October 12th)... I think everybody is different but if I was going to dictate colors, I would have said something way before now. I would just ask the Bride why she doesnt want you to wear that color. I know you said you're not close but maybe just talking it out will help the "issue" solve itself. 🍀

I think if it went with the colors and the bride was indifferent, it would be perfectly okay but that is quite a bright shade considering what everyone else is wearing. It would probably look incredibly weird in the photos as well. I know my grandmother wearing navy blue polka dots to my parents wedding still gets my mom ruffled even though they've been divorced for years and that grandma's been gone for 4 years. I personally would go with a light blue which will likely go over well just about anywhere.

I will also say that I am not controlling either of the moms dress choices for my wedding. However, both moms and my grandma asked for the color scheme and consulted me on their final dress choice well in advance. With over 6 months to go, I had all of them and been asked if they were suitable. I think respect is the biggest thing here.

Although there's nothing saying you can't wear red, I think it would be in your best interest to choose another color. You have stated you don't get along with the bride already, and though this may not be something you want to give up, this could be a way of you offering an olive branch to her. She is marrying your son, so I think it would make sense to try to have as good of a relationship as you can, since this woman will likely be a part of your life forever now. Red, even though its not "off limits" is a very flashy color, and when worn by MILs to a wedding when they don't get along with the bride, often looks to some like the MIL is trying to gain some attention, even if its not the case.

Maybe as a compromise, you could try to find a dress in a deep maroon, or other similar color, so you will still have a red tone, but not so bright and eye catching. If you do this, I'd also run the new dress by the bride as well, again, not because you have to, but because it might help to foster a better relationship with your sons future wife

The red does stand out a lot. I do think the bride should have said something to you earlier on about what color she preferred but if I were you I would just exchange the dress for something else. I would not want to be the one to stand out in picture unless I was the bride

It is not for the MIL, or even the bride, to tell you what color to wear. Instead of your dress color, she should worry about how rude she is dictating how another adult should dress. Being a busybody is rude, so tell her MHOB. Don't wear what the bride is wearing, or anything more formal. The MIL is also indirectly being rude to the bride. She is saying the bride is so nondescript that anyone in a nice dress or a spot of color is more attractive than the bride, and she cannot compete. Wear what you will, and trust that the bride will be the center of attention, even if 100 models in high fashion all were there. At least give her credit, thinking she will be, which is a lot nicer than what nasty MIL is doing, toning everyone down, so even someone pitiful like the bride will not be outshined. I'd have banned from my wedding anyone who said or implied I could not stand my own next to any person in any color or style.

Wearing red would look wayy to patriotic and showy.

I may be the unpopular opinion but it’s not your day to stand out. The red is too much. It draws attention to you. Plus if the bride requested you not to I don’t think you should cause extra stress on her by going against that.

Whether red is wedding appropriate is a surprisingly common topic on this forum. I personally wouldn’t care and think it’s a bit over the top that the bride and her mother are asking you to change your dress. Even though I don’t agree with it, I’d change dresses. Keeping the peace is more valuable than your dress and I doubt you’ll regret being the bigger person and ensuring the bride is contented on her day. Especially since your relationship isn’t the best, I think it’s important to compromise a little.