Show me your vows!

Here are mine. I know they are wayyyyyyyyyy too long, but he loved them, and his were about the same length. We had not seen the other's vows before the ceremony.

Nathan, it has been said that happily ever after is not a fairytale, but a choice that you make to live every day together, like it’s an entire lifetime. And today, in front of our family and friends, I couldn’t be more excited to start that happily ever after with you, my best friend, my missing puzzle piece, and my soulmate. I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which now becomes our life together as one. You captured my heart with your kindness, your patience, and most of all your love for God and also for me.

I remember on our first date, you knocked me flat on my back playing tag on the ice. I guess I wasn’t falling for you fast enough! Since that day, you have laughed with me, cried with me, and challenged me to be a better person. You’ve supported my interests, and shown a patience and steadfastness I know I can depend on even when it was far from easy for you to do. I can’t promise to always be the perfect wife, but what I want to promise you is this:

A hand to hold so you know that you are never alone, a heart that loves you unconditionally in the good times and bad, an unquestionable loyalty that you can depend on, a friend that believes in your dreams, an honest answer, a kind word or a gentle touch when words just aren’t enough, a helper to make your load a little lighter and share the burdens life throws in the path, and a faithful wife who cares about, prays for, and absolutely adores you.

I promise to leave you the last French Fry, well sometimes anyways, be there when it floods and you get the stomach flu at the same time, laugh with you, brainstorm with you, and only steal half of your t-shirts and hoodies. I promise to be your movie buddy, your partner in all the adventures we can find, and to stand by your side wherever God leads us. I promise to be faithful to you and to love you, with every beat of my heart, for the rest of my life. You are, and always will be, my “One.” I love you.

My officiant said that a lot of people want to give a long history of their relationship, which is not what vows are. I did give a little summary before leading into it:

Seven years ago we met

Six years ago, you were the one who told me I definitely could and should get a masters

Five years ago, you were there, again, when I needed a push to try a new type of race

Four years ago, you were the one who encouraged me to go after a second masters

Three years ago, you helped me quit a job and start another

Two years ago, you were the bright spot when everything went wrong

A year ago we started this journey and look where we are today.

You've taught me so much, including the lesson I needed to learn the most: self acceptance

You showed me that not only was it okay to be me, but that some people will like me for me

And not only will some people like me for me, but some will even love me for me

I am so glad I have you with me to teach this important lesson to [my son].

For if [my son], the man that will be, is anything at all like you, the man that you are, I can unequivocally say that I was a successful parent.

Then it goes into the I promise parts.

AAH I wish I had ours with me to post. They were super sweet. We followed a format that Celia suggested. 5 things we love about each other and 5 things we promise to each other.

These were mine:

I never could have imagined you. But I have loved you, even before I knew I loved you, and definitely before I admitted it to you, when you were so many thousands of miles away. You wrap me up in you when I am cold, you hug me when I am sad, and you make me sane when I’m going crazy. You’re my number one fan, and in return, I will never stop cheering for you. Most importantly, you’re my best friend. I am my best self when I am with you. Together, we are beautiful.

I promise to always consider you in the decisions that I make. I promise to always sit next to you. I promise to communicate with you, to share with you my hopes and my concerns, to always imagine, and always dream, and to work with you for what's best for us, and our family. I know that we will change and we will grow, and I will make every effort that we do so together, to make each other better, to support each other, and to always improve. Lastly, I promise you that I will never love another as I love you; it will always be just you and me. Thank you for walking into that kitchen those years ago and turning my world upside down.

Mine look long, I think they took about 2 minutes to actually read through:

Five years ago I fell in love with the most amazing person that I've ever known. I remember the instant comfort and happiness that you made me feel when we first met, and I was soon certain that I wanted to spend the rest of my days with you, trying to make you as happy as you've made me. And now here we are, today is the day that we take the steps towards our forever, and I couldn't imagine standing here with anyone other than you. To stand here today and try to tell you all the reasons I love you would take a lifetime, so here are just a few. I love you because you teach me something new everyday. Even if it's while sitting through a show about space and time travel, or you're attempting to teach me about vault hunters and video games. I love that you are so caring and thoughtful, and that you always find a way to show me you care. I love that we can always create an adventure together, whether it's on purpose or by accident, and I love the way you can sing your way to my heart on every road trip. Most importantly I love you because you've always loved me for who I am, and sometimes for who I'm not. You've never judged me, but have instead made me feel wanted and appreciated. You've loved me completely and I've never doubted the love that we have. I vow to always strive to make sure that you feel my love, the same way that you've made certain that I've always felt yours. You're my best friend. I feel most like myself when I'm with you, and my hand always feels most comfortable while wrapped in yours. When we face challenges together, I promise to focus on our love so that it may grow stronger. As we grow old together I promise to not let time dull my love and appreciation for you. The time I've spend loving you has been the best five years of my life and I'm so thankful to spend the rest of my days as your wife.

We did the same as VDizzy and did kind of go right into it.

Okay mine were super long (but so were DH's) and it was so perfect, we absolutely loved having everything there and people commented after how they really liked how personal things felt. So here it is:

Jason, you are my prince, my beloved, my ku’uipo, and my best friend! Five years ago I was living in Hawaiian paradise for a brief 10 weeks, but I had no idea God was about to give me an eternity of paradise with you. I always dreamed of a man like you but you are far better than any dream because you understand me in a way I never knew was possible. Your smile is more captivating than the stars in the sky and your tight hugs melt my heart. I can’t believe how lucky I am that you chose me to become your wife.

7/11 has always been a lucky number for me ever since I was seven years old, and today it brings me the best of luck because today I get to vow to spend the rest of my life with you. As God loves us unconditionally, I promise to love you unconditionally through all my thoughts and actions. I will never stop praying for you and thanking God for the amazing man I have in front of me. I vow to trust you as the leader of our home and to work together to solve any problems that may arise. I also submit myself to you because I know you will always keep in mind what is best for us and our future. I promise to be by your side through everything life throws at us: in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. Someday we’ll enter parenthood together but I promise to still keep you first in my life even when life with kids becomes hectic. I will make sure you never feel less important.

I will grow old with you and take many adventures with you. Probably a lot of photo adventures and I’ll always be there as your co-pilot! We will share our dreams together and I will rejoice with you during success and comfort you through sorrow. I promise to nurture your passions and help them to grow and encourage you to continue to pursue your talents.

Throughout our lives I want to always make you laugh and keep you happy. I will forever be your princess, which means I promise to never cut my hair too short! And you’ll never have to worry about going hungry either because with my Urban genes I vow to always keep our stomachs happy!

Jason, I am honored that today I will become your wife, and with that I have one final vow: I vow to always keep the Aloha spirit at the core of our relationship wherever our lives may lead us, to all the corners of the world. I love you so much with all my heart!

This is what I have written so far for our personal section. We are also doing the traditional "repeat after me" vows. I don't want an in and out ceremony done in ten minutes. I want it to mean something and have us reflect on what it is we are saying and promising.

You have shown me what love feels like and for that, I thank you. I love you means that I accept you for the person that you are and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you – just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. I love you means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them – asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go. You are everything I need and at this moment I know that all of my dreams have come true. I praise God for you, for all of your love and constant friendship. I know that our love is Heaven sent and I promise to be here forever and always. From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home. As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep.

I vow to be your strongest supporter and your biggest fan. Pick you up when life knocks you down and be by your side always. I promise to encourage you to pursue your dreams and reach your goals. I vow to comfort you, protect you, encourage you, and challenge you. To be faithful to you, to be honest with you, and to be patient with you. I vow to learn from my mistakes and to grow from our struggles. I vow to keep you near me in spirit when we must be apart. I promise to listen, especially when it’s hard, because that’s when I most need to hear what you have to say.

I promise to notice the gifts you give me and to appreciate them: your kisses, your kindness, your patience, your humor, and your effort. I promise to take care of myself and let you help take care of me. I promise to encourage you to take care of yourself and help take care of you however I can. I promise to invest in us, all the work and all the risk, because I can see the rewards every day. I promise to be your partner, half of a team, working toward the same goal: happiness, together. I take you to be my best friend, my faithful partner, and my one true love. I choose you for life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, and my tenderest care through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future. I promise to be faithful to you, to encourage you, inspire you, love you truly, and support you through good times and bad. I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities and to lend you strength for all of your dreams. I will forever be there to laugh with you, to lift you up when you are down, and to love you unconditionally through all of our adventures in life together.

And most of all, I vow to love you openly, fiercely, and forever.

All i can say is to keep stressing that you should keep it short and sweet. A lot of these longer ones are just beautiful, but 100 people don't want to sit through a lot of this. I wrote a very long letter to my husband on our wedding day saying more in depth stuff because well....it's private.

Ours were short and sweet and to the point. The officiant did talk a little about our relationship beforehand.

*To Him*

I promise today to be your navigator, best friend, and wife.

To honor, love, and cherish you through all of life's adventures.

I swear to always and forever be your confidant and you mine.

I vow to grow old with you and to keep the kid in you alive.

I take you today to be my co-captain of team (Last Name).

*To Her*

I promise today to be your navigator, best friend, and husband.

To honor, love, and cherish you through all of life's adventures.

I swear to always and forever be your confidant and you mine.

I vow to grow old with you and to keep the kid in you alive.

I take you today to be my co-captain of team (Last Name).

Holy guacamole these are long. I haven't finished mine yet but they will be short and sweet. I hate public speaking and will probably cry the whole time lol.

I can't even imagine how long it would take me to read through mine, with the sniffles, tears, choking, blowing my nose, etc.

I haven't started but I love this thread b.c its inspiration

I know you don't want to hear this but, as lovely as these are, they are WAY WAY WAY too long. By the end, no matter how personal and heartfelt, your guests will not remember the beginning, and for all of you who have expressed a desire for 'short and sweet?" It's over. It's not short and sweet any more. There is eye rolling in the back row.

Vows are just that; vows to each other, not a retelling of your love story. Your officiant may have done that already, and if not, the rest of the ceremony is where that belongs, not here. If you want your story to be told, then let your officiant know that, but after an average length ceremony, these are entirely too much. By the time you say your vows, they are assuming that the cermony is almost over; they're not looking for another 10 minutes; they are looking for wine.

Some of these sentiments could be put into letters to each other; some could make it into the ceremony, but the vows? Nope.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult anyone, but I'm the one up there looking at the audience. In some cases, the audience in extreme heat or extreme cold. Whatever they tell you? They're waiting for them to be over.

Five lines (at most) of what you love about him/her. Five lines about what you'll do to keep it that way. As personal as you want to make it. As funny as you want to make it.

But make it short.