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Savvy September 2019

Shower Dilemma

Samantha , on May 19, 2019 at 1:17 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 7

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Ok so this is half question/half venting rant. So my two aunts on my dad’s side want to throw me a bridal shower apparently. The thing is, neither have always been the most involved in my life and I’m not super close to them. This whole idea has been pushing my anxiety through the roof because I will have no control over it. I’m struggling with hurting their feelings by saying no. And if I say yes, I’m just about positive FH’s side of the family won’t be invited and will feel left out. Also how big is a bridal shower supposed to be? Am I supposed to have all friends and family, in that case it’s going to be huge. I don’t want to leave FH’s family out or make them feel like they have to throw me a separate shower. I feel like if I say yes, it’ll be a bunch of people my aunts are friends with and like that aren’t invited to the wedding which will be even more awkward when they come to the shower but don’t get a wedding invite. Ugggg help!

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Latest activity by Samantha , on May 20, 2019 at 11:48 AM

VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on May 19, 2019 at 1:27 PM
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Only people on the guest list for the wedding should be invited to the shower. Of course, there are exceptions. For instance, at my shower one of my moms guests wanted to bring her daughter. She knew the daughter wasn't invited to the wedding but she and her daughter go lots of places together. To me, that is no big deal. I would think your aunts know not to invite people other than who you say. Then again, I dont know your aunts lol! For my shower, I invited all of my FHs female relatives that were invited to the wedding, my female relatives, my moms friends (she hosted the shower) and 2 of my girlfriends. I did not invite FHs friends girlfriends or wives. Maybe talk to your aunts and see what their view is for the shower before declining.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on May 19, 2019 at 1:34 PM
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You should be in control of the guest list. Typically, the host(s) determine how many people they're comfortable inviting, and you determine who. There's no amount that is "supposed" to be invited. You don't have to invite every single friend and family member, but it definitely sounds like you should mix it between your side and his.
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Devoted September 2021
Cassy · on May 19, 2019 at 2:06 PM
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Only people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower, and its usually family, FH’s family, bridal party and close friends. It’s normal for others to throw the shower for you, but you should give them the guest list.
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Expert October 2019
Sara · on May 19, 2019 at 9:36 PM
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Don’t be afraid to speak up and ask them! It can seem awkward but it’s important for you to know what they’re thinking of doing and who/how many people they’re looking to invite.
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Expert June 2019
thisismrsb · on May 20, 2019 at 1:29 AM
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My Aunts threw my shower. My mother provided a list of family and friends she wanted to invite, I provided a list of 20 of my own friends as well as my bridal party, and FH's mother invited a few people that she she wanted. All of our guests were invited to the wedding. You can ask them to it this way.
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Super September 2019
Anna · on May 20, 2019 at 6:42 AM
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I would sit down with your aunts and tell them your concern regarding FH side. I would explain what you told us that you don’t want them left out, and ask how many people are they comfortable hosting. You should definitely have control over who gets invited
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Savvy September 2019
Samantha · on May 20, 2019 at 11:48 AM
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Thank you for all the replies everyone! I feel better about having the shower now that I told them I’m in charge of the guest list. I’m a little excited about it now, it will be interesting to see how everyone interacts with each other before the wedding!
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Shower Dilemma

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