Shower Gifts/etiquette?

In general if you want cash then no shower is correct a shower is to get gifts. Registries are for the guests to know what to buy.
Typically you invite the women invited to the wedding to the shower and you don't host your own your shower. Someone should volunteer

Bridal showers are typically thrown for the bride, to shower her with gifts to help get her started with her marriage. There are a few different types of showers you can have, and these are generally the top 2 (in my experience): 1) Standard shower that people buy you gifts off of a registry you and your FH make - filled with items (such as kitchen appliances, linens, etc) that help y'all get started, or 2) a lingerie shower, where guests buy the bride lingerie for her marriage. Only guests that are also invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower, because it wouldn't be right to say "hey I want you to come give me a gift to celebrate me getting married, but I don't want you at my wedding." If you do not want physical gifts, then you shouldn't have a bridal shower....because 1) there is no polite way to ask for cash, and 2) no one wants to sit there and watch someone open a bunch of cards w/ money. Also, if you do not want physical gifts, but just want some bridal attention, then you can always have a bridal luncheon with some ladies that is non-gift giving to celebrate your upcoming marriage. Hope this helps, and good luck!

Just want to add, while ONLY guests who are invited to the wedding should be invited to a traditional shower, you also do NOT need to invite ALL the women (or everyone, if it's a co-ed shower). A shower really can just be your closest family & friends. (I completely agree about the gifts issue...in many social circles a "cash shower" may be seen as very odd.)

In my experience, people want to shower the bride with physical gifts at her shower, not cash. So if you have a bridal shower, you should have some type of registry even if it's just for the shower and not the wedding. Some people have lingerie showers (I personally think they are a little weird - I don't want my fiance's mother or my boss's wife gifting me lingerie) but I just had a shower from our normal registry. My mom invited every woman on the wedding guest list in the town/area the shower was in.

Sounds like your coworker had a lingerie shower (I'm assuming VS is Victoria Secret). It's a type of themed bridal shower that some people like. If you want cash and are not going to register anywhere, you really shouldn't have a shower, because a shower is for physical gifts. Also, you only get one if someone offers to throw one for you - you definitely should not throw one for yourself.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Kelly!

View Quoted Comment Thank you Danielle! The luncheon is a good alternative.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I've got to get it together I guess.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! A few have offered so no concerns there.

Yes, showers are for things, never money. If you get any money, it is as a wedding gift. Shower presents are a second gift from only a small group of your closest friends and family. If you do not want so much stuff, do not have a shower. You can have the fun of a party not called a shower, called a bridal luncheon or tea ( light supper) , where no one gives gifts at all. And whatever their budget, all will be your wedding gifts. What you receive is up to the giver. No matter what you prefer, at the wedding ( sent in the month before, mostly) you will likely get some gifts, some money. But showers are traditionally gifts of things not money. Things for the bride's trousseau, and things for the home . Also, the bride never throws a party to get gifts for herself. Some friend, or bridesmaids, or family, 1 person or a group, volunteer to give a shower in your honor. They decide type of party, formal or casual, number of guest, and location. Then ask you for contact info for that many guests. You accept their offer, or not. But no doing your own shower to get gifts. If no gifts are wanted, the bride herself may plan and pay for a social gathering, bridal tea or luncheon. Usually a light meal or desserts, and coffee or liquor. Or, people may give a no gifts tea or luncheon for you .

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Thank you!