Shower Guest List Question

I don't see a problem with a couples shower at all, my fiance and I actually talked about doing it that way also. I would also invite my male friends who are in the wedding if you are doing a couples shower.

I don't think 10 people is too small for a bridal shower! I think you may be able to do more activities and such with 10 people, that you would have a difficult time doing with a large group. You may also have an easier time finding a place to host it at with a smaller group.


If you want to do a couples shower, I say go for it! I would invite your 2 male friends that you mentioned, as well as the partners of the women who are invited.

If you are thinking about a couples shower, I would ask your FH if he wants to do that. When I mentioned the idea of it to my fiancé, he looked at me and said “do we have to?”
He doesn’t want to have anything to do with the bridal shower. And part of that might be because receiving gifts makes him uncomfortable. (Long and sad story)

But I think either way you are good 🙂My girls are throwing me a virtual shower with the option for the few local ladies to join me at my one bridesmaid’s home.

I think I would still invite your bridesmaids and your fiance's side just so they don't feel left out. We got married prior to Covid and I still invited people I pretty much 100% knew they wouldn't attend because I didn't want anyone to feel left out.

I think it's totally fine to have a couple's shower, but I would talk to your fiance about this. He might not be interested. If he is, then I think it would be nice to include the guys.

Couples showers are very common. Pre-Covid it was also very common for groups such as coworkers, book clubs, church members, etc to host a shower knowing that they aren't invited because they want to celebrate with you. It's rude to decline when they offer.

Etiquette has not changed or disappeared because of the pandemic and all of the gurus (Emily Post, Miss Manners, etc) firmly stand by that.

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I understand that; I wasn't talking about churches or book clubs or anything else but a family shower where the bride or couple provides the list of invitees. The consensus, which I agree with, is that it's rude to invite people to a shower who are not invited to the wedding. Thankfully, that doesn't apply in my situation.

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Thank you for your input!!

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Thank you for your input!! We are doing it at my cousin's house so 12 vs. 25 shouldn't make too much of a difference

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I hadn't thought of inviting them to this one, but that's a good point. I think I'm still kind of hoping we'll be able to have one in the South before the wedding, but I'm not sure if that will happen

Another poster mentioned this too, and I should have specified, my fiance is totally on board with a couples' shower. He's happy either way.

I had around 12 wonderful women at one of my showers and it was a lovely size. Intimate enough to have great conversations and fun games and spend time with everyone there. I don't think 10 is too little at all. Also, my shower was kitchen themed (each guest brought a recipe and they all purchased kitchen appliances/cookware from our registry), when it's no secret that my husband does literally all of the cooking. My husband joined the shower when it was time to open the gifts, but I don't think it would have felt awkward if he wasn't there, because these days, everyone knows that shower gifts are really for the couple. That being said, I don't think there is a right or wrong way to go when it comes to a female-only shower or a couple's shower. The vibes are different but either work.

We did a couples' shower, and our guestlist was our BP and their SOs, our family, and close friends.

That said, given the restrictions, a small shower wouldn't be terrible! You can always videochat in people who can't make it!

10 people isn’t too small— I had a teeny tiny shower and love love loved it. I got in some serious quality time with the guests and was so thrilled for that opportunity. I worried going into it knowing the guestlist was small that it might feel awkward but that room was so filled to the brim with love and excitement nothing about it felt small.



For a couples’ shower, traditionally it would be more than just the partners of the women, and include some guests from your partner’s side too— maybe some of his friends etc. But, you can choose who ever you want to spend the day with! I would definitely include the guys mentioned that are involved in the wedding !