Sorry if this is long winded.. just looking for advice.
When FH and I picked our bridal party I had only met his sister one time ( we spent a couple days with her at his parents cabin. ) She seemed nice, just lives in a different state and we couldnt travel during covid due to the military ban. I chose not to ask her to be a bridesmaid because I didnt really know her. FH did ask his two brothers to be groomsmen. I figured I'd still ask her to do a blessing at the reception of our food and pay for her to get her hair and makeup done the same day to be a part of it. I also asked her to come wedding dress shopping with me and flew out to michigan so she and her mom could go with me.
FH and I arrive in Michigan and from the moment we get there she starts picking at us, hard. Saying things to me like "I cant believe you want to procreate with him." "If you want to fit in with me you shouldn't be so polite." and "thats white people s***" (they are puerto rican and i'm white).
It finally came to a head two days later on fourth of July after she drank a bunch. She pulled FH aside and said she was still mad that he didn't reach out during his divorce (over three years ago), and that she couldnt believe he asked her brothers and not her to be in her wedding party, threatened to jump off the balcony, etc. This went on for over two hours. My FH has PTSD from combat and I was worried about the stress but I didn't know what was going on and since they had stepped away gave them their privacy. He finally told me and I got really upset but went inside and ate dinner with the rest of the family. After dinner FH disappeared again so I stepped outside to look for him, not realizing I was stepping into round 2. At this time she pulled me by the arm and tried to get me to "go around the corner so we could talk." I told her not to touch me and said "I'm going to go pack and we will be getting a hotel tonight" to FH and walked inside. My FMIL then came in begging me not to leave (its his parents house) and I agreed to stay. FH came in crying and FSIL then walked into the room saying "I'm sorry you took it that way. I really like you, its between myself and your FH." I still felt extremely offended and stuck. She went wedding dress shopping with me the next day and though we had an enjoyable time she still brought up all her issues with FH during the lunch I bought afterwards and continued to pick at him the rest of the week, while being HYPER nice to me. FH never talked to her about his previous divorce because he didn't feel like he was ready and was in counseling for it.
I decided not to pay for her to get her hair and makeup done and never did ask her to do a blessing. I guess I just don't know how to move on from this. Neither of us have talked to her since July. Neither of FH brothers really talk to her because they've had the same issues. With our wedding and the holidays coming up I just don't even know how to act. She will be flying out for our wedding in March and staying in town for a week.
Any advice or outside input is really appreciated.