Single and Planning My Wedding!!

Hmmm...and hmmm.. I agree with majority of the women on this thread. My FH wants to be included in our DIY projects, etc, and it's OUR day. I can't tell you he has been awesome (better than the non existant MOH on helping with our STD's) Plus,it makes it special for the both of us. Of coarse you can do as you please, and you will get some GREAT ideas for some DIY projects from these ladies too. I honestly couldn't start planning without even prospects. To each his own.

I'm sorry, but hold on a sec...who are you to think your future relationship is going to be any better than our "slapped together" ones? I personally approached my man first, and guess what? We're in this forever! Pretty sure God isn't going to punish shy dudes with eternal singledom just because they can't pick up women...if He did, we'd be out a lot of nerdy types!

Seriously though, you're planning a wedding not a marriage. And you're planning YOUR wedding, not y'all's wedding. How can you possibly plan a wedding that has any semblance of "us" to it when you haven't even met your better half??? You don't have memories or quirks to build personal touches into your wedding...you have stuff you think looks pretty and stuff that symbolizes YOU.

I'm sorry hun, but just because you say the word Christian over and over doesn't mean your marriage will last any longer than anyone else on here, and you REALLY got my hackles up by calling my future marriage "slapped together".

I don't think planning a wedding before you've met the guy is a good idea. Try not to put the cart before the horse.

Christians with your attitude really annoy me, your 'chosen man' is not just going to fall from the sky and propose to you and then you go skipping off into the sunset. Relationships are HARD WORK and require effort from both parties. You don't have to throw yourself at men, but you have to look. Yes, you will know when you've met the one, my fiance and i knew that very early on in our relationship, but you still have to build and grow together. God doesn't make you fall in love with anyone, you have free will.

And yes, i am a Christian. We've done things the traditional way, but it takes TWO PEOPLE to build a lasting relationship based on the moral code set by the bible.

Claire, you're the kind of Christian I respect...thanks for being a GOOD example of what it means to be Christian. :-)

Kat-Im a Christian and was thinking the same thing you are.......uril, please dont judge others relationships before you know them. Just because someone might not be a Christian, does NOT mean their relationship is slapped together. Heck, I know many CHristians where I feel like it was slapped together.

thinking of ideas for a wedding, sure. Planning it out? not so much.

Planning for a marriage? great. You can do a lot ahead of time in learning to build character qualities such as patience, thoughtfulness, selflessness, etc to prepare yourself to be a wife someday. I would just concentrate on the task of preparing to be a wife so that when you guy comes along you will be ready.

Planning for a marriage, physically, mentally and spiritually is very important- but planning the actual wedding event is not productive. There is nothing wrong with getting ideas or what you think you may want, but planning the event without including FH's ideas is just wrong in my opinion. He may have been thinking about what he wants for his wedding all this time as well.

The most important thing to learn in a marriage is the art of compromising. And when planning a wedding, you do alot of that! By planning it all now, you are forcing him to conform to your will- which is controlling and certainly not the way God intends marriages to be. Spend your time preparing yourself for marriage- not a wedding.

I don't want to freak you out, but consider the following article. http://blackchristiannews.com/news/2010/08/watch-are-black-churches-keeping-black-women-single.html

I agree with bluedaisy and Kat. I am a Christian, though liberal, and have been planning my marriage for years. When I met the right man, I was spiritually, emotionally and mentally ready to make a selfless commitment.

Uril, I ask you a question I hope you seriously consider, how does planning a wedding without the input of your groom and his family LOVE, HONOR, or RESPECT him (the vows you will take)?

Wow...that's all I can say. I'm so glad that the girls are tellin it like it is, as usual

Oh wow. I didn't even notice she said that about "slapped together" couples. I'm not a religious person. Does that mean my marriage will fail? No. It doesn't. Get off your high horse, approach a man, get to know him, fall in love. Then wait for him to ask you to marry him.

Then you can plan your wedding TOGETHER.

What I don't understand about this thread is last night when I originally posted as the first poster, the user had a picture and her name was Kristina. Now, no picture and her name is Uril C.

Uhm, yea, I smell a troll, tbh.

Not cool if that is the case.. :0/

I thought the same thing, Amber. The photo and name change. Yep, troll.

*sigh*

I think there is a huge difference between planning a wedding/marriage and thinking about ideas you would like to have on your wedding day. Good luck to you!

Okay, troll or not, planning a wedding before you even have a fiance, let alone boyfriend, is just asking for trouble, you are setting yourself up for dissapointment, and you can say all you want that you won't change your mind on the details and that you won't be disspointed after you plan this wedding for however long it is until you meet your future husband, because you will change your mind, and you will end up getting dissapointed, especially when you are planning a wedding to a man that is not yet in the picture, and then your friends and family are all getting married. I waited for over 4 years to marry my husband, and believe me, when the time came to acutally plan our wedding, it was 100% different than my beginning to plan/dream stage.

By all means, go ahead and prepare yourself for marraige, I think it's a great idea, but like a poster said, don't put the cart before the horse.

I agree with most of these other women, especially Deirdre. Planning a wedding by ourself is outragous and surely stupid. I think its a great way to chase your man away. Who wants to get with someone knowing that they are only in it to get married, what about friendship first and memories and then deciding together that you want to get married!

Hmmm, I smell a troll. I haven't read all the responses but yeah a troll or at least I hope so...