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Sheryl
Beginner November 2022

Sister In Law

Sheryl, on February 28, 2021 at 7:48 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 24

Long before my fiance and I got engaged we talked about wedding details, including our bridal party. We come from large families with lots of cousins. We also have friends from different parts of our lives. We decided on 3 bridal party members on each side. My side will be my best friend from...
Long before my fiance and I got engaged we talked about wedding details, including our bridal party. We come from large families with lots of cousins. We also have friends from different parts of our lives. We decided on 3 bridal party members on each side. My side will be my best friend from childhood, my fiance sister and my best friend from college. My fiance will have his buddy from college, my brother and his friend from high-school. I thought we were set!! When I told my parents they were concerned about me not including my brothers wife (I was in their wedding as a bridesmaid). But we explained that we wanted to keep it simple so we didn't have to worry about upsetting our cousins and friends or having to make anyone upset. They seemed to understand and I thought it was done. Well now my mom texted me and tells me my sister in law will be so heart broken if she isn't included and her feelings will be hurt. My sister in law and i will go to lunch, but never alone. It's always with my mom or my brother. We don't have alot in common, but we are polite with each other.


I wasn't trying to hurt anyone's feelings. But this is what my fiance and I wanted. And now I feel like I'm being pressured to change and accommodate someone else for fear of making her upset. I want to stay strong and keep my plan. I think I'm upset at this point because it seems like my sister in laws feelings are more important than mine and my fiance.

24 Comments

  • Ali
    Expert March 2021
    Ali ·
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    Take it from someone whose mom was a little overbearing and controlling during wedding planning. As hard as it might be, it's your day and you should stand your ground. I had to tell my mom like hey we have a certain guest limit and this is what we want. We did have to compromise on the guest list with her a little as my parents have paid for half of the wedding. She's been a great help after we kind of established boundaries.
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  • Scandalousrandallous
    Devoted July 2023
    Scandalousrandallous ·
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    No pay, no say.

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  • Bailey
    Beginner September 2022
    Bailey ·
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    I agree with the other ladies here. It’s your wedding, your day and if you’re worried about how she’ll feel, maybe sit down with her and your brother and explain exactly what you said in your post. I’m having 4 bridesmaids (friends + my sister) and my step-mom was absolutely appalled when she found out that her daughter (my step-sister) will not be in the wedding party. Her and I have never been close and are no more than cordial/polite at family gatherings, so I chose to have her as only a guest. It’s all about who you want with you on your special day and not about what anyone else wants! They’ll get over it and likely have more fun when they’re responsibility-free at your wedding.
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  • Antoinette
    VIP April 2021
    Antoinette ·
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    Sweetheart this is your day... keep it the way you and your FH wants it. I dont even have my sister in my bridal party. Just because you was in their wedding dont mean she have to be in yours. It seem to me your mom will be the one with hurt feelings but guest what she will be okay.

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