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Haley
Just Said Yes September 2020

Sister is getting married on the exact date of my 1 year wedding anniversary

Haley, on June 7, 2021 at 7:06 PM Posted in Married Life 1 43
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So I got married in September of 2020, I wanted a big wedding but with Covid we decided to do a immediate family only ceremony (10 people) so for our one year anniversary, since our wedding was so small we are spending a ton to go to Florida, Disney world resort, for our one year anniversary. Since we’ve never been out of state and have a two year old it’s a big deal. My whole family knew this but my sister who just got engaged this year is getting married this year on my EXACT wedding date, same day same month, so on our one year anniversary date. And everyone thinks I’m petty for going on our honeymoon/anniversary.. and skipping my sisters wedding and not rescheduling plane/hotel stay.


Am I crazy or is that something a sister should never do.. is share a wedding date. I mean I wouldn’t mind if it was on my two year anniversary.. but one year is a big deal in my mind especially since covid ruined our wedding plans, my family is very tight nit so I can’t really complain without everyone getting hurt and mad. I’ve already voiced myself to my sister and she seems not to care. I just wanted to see if anyone else had this experience and what was the end result of you and your sisters relationship..

43 Comments

Latest activity by Curina, on April 24, 2022 at 8:01 PM
  • Lisa
    Super October 2021
    Lisa ·
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    I'm sorry to hear about this. I have never been in your situation but I do think it's wrong and insensitive that she has picked the same date as you. Is there a particular reason why she wants that date, too? I'm not sure that skipping her wedding is the best idea, since you say your family is so close, you may run the chance of running relationships because of it. But if you are set on going and don't care what others think, I say go for it.

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  • J
    Judith ·
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    I don't think you can own the date, because there may be many people on her groom's side with issues too. But she should assume you will follow all of the plans that you previously made, and not change them a bit for her wedding. She is making the decision that other considerations make that date m9re important than your attendance at her wedding. Get her a nice gift, and give her a sisterly hug and a kiss before you head off for Disney.
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  • devotedlydavis
    Expert March 2022
    devotedlydavis ·
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    I have 3 aunts that share the same wedding date, but they’re all years apart. It would’ve been a kind gesture for her to ask your opinion before picking the date, but she may be thinking that it will be a cool bond for you to share.


    I’d definitely have to debate the pros/cons of rescheduling. I am a Disney fanatic, so I wouldn’t want to forego the trip but you also don’t want to damage the relationship if y’all are a tight night family.
    Have you had a conversation with her about how you feel?
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    With all the reschedules this year and next year from last year, I wouldn’t be surprised if the date picked them more than they picked the date. It’s possible that was the only day the venue they were looking at had available. That doesn’t mean I’d reschedule my travel plan if I was in your shoes. I’d probably let them know that while you’d love to celebrate with them, your travel was already booked and you won’t be rescheduling.
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  • T
    Dedicated October 2021
    Tammy ·
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    Is there any major reason for the date as in its the only date the venue had, if so she can't be expected to avoid that date just because it's yours. That being said she can't expect you or anyone else to cancel plans especially booked trips that she already new about. We doubled checked with the most important people before setting the date to make sure there wasn't a major conflict. If there is no reason for her date selection I personally would be wondering if their is a psychological reason she is choosing it, sibling rivelry, competitiveness or the opposite she thinks it will be cool for yall to later share the same date and go on couple trips dinners ect. If yall are so close why don't you just ask her why she chose that date and try to get her perspective. Maybe it's not as rude as it seems and she will just have to understand your not being rude by not canceling your trip.
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  • Rosie
    Master February 2022
    Rosie ·
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    I'm so sorry. I can completely understand why you'd be hurt and upset that she did this. I have people in my bridal party who have made some ... interesting choices in the last year, and to be honest, I've just had to think, the wedding is one day, but the relationship is forever. I can be hurt, I can take a step back and expect less from them going forward, but I don't necessarily think it's to my benefit or the relationship as a whole to have it out with them.

    In my case, I have spoken to them, and then a month later there's something else. So I've left it. If this is the first thing she's done, I'd definitely talk to her about it and get her side of why she thought this was a good idea, but beyond that... you have to decide how you want your relationship to go moving forward. If you then choose not to go to her wedding, I can guarantee it will further damage your relationship. If you're just done with her and her behaviour then maybe you're okay with that. But if you're not, you might just need to take the high road and let it go (although absolutely feel free to complain about it to your friends and places like this!)

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  • K
    Expert September 2021
    Ka-Rina ·
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    I agree with the other ladies, find out from her why it had to be that date especially if she had known u already had travel plans set and that they were important for you. You can always move the trip, to an extent, wouldn’t it be nice to be with your extended family on your first year anniversary? I’m sure people will be congratulating you even at her wedding because they didn’t get a chance to when you got married last year.
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  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
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    Skipping your sister's wedding is a decision that you're going to have to live with forever. You have every right to be upset and annoyed, but are you willing to let that ruin your relationship with her? You're not wrong for not wanting to change your plans when they were in place first, just be sure you're ready to deal with any potential consequences of that decision.
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  • L
    Super August 2023
    Lunajay ·
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    I don't think your crazy, I personal think your sister was wrong, and should change the date. Like who would want the same anniversary date as their sister unless it's a twin thing. I say go and enjoy, if your family thinks that petty of you, they need to read your sister her rights for picking your date. Now since I'm petty, I'd still send out the invites and let them know "As discussed we are inviting you to Disney World" and let people make their choice.

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  • Haley
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Haley ·
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    So I did talk to her when I found out the date she picked, and she laughed and said she forgot my wedding date 😅 also when she sent out the invites today she said she didn’t care if I didn’t go. Which hurt my feelings a bit.
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I’d definitely sit down with her & have a heart to heart discussion. I can understand both sides. With all the reschedules, finding a venue available with an available date must be extremely difficult.
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  • Haley
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Haley ·
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    She said ‘ she wants a fall wedding’ and that’s why she picked that date and said she forgot my wedding date which was last year. And it’s basically like be out 5k, not have a honeymoon, or go to my sisters wedding. 😪
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  • Haley
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Haley ·
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    So she’s having her wedding in her backyard, no vendors or anything. So she could have totally rescheduled which I was hoping she would do the week after. So I could attend 😓
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  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    I guess I’m the minority but I don’t see the big deal. I was thinking she probably didn’t even realize it, then you mentioned she said that. It’s nothing against you, just *your* anniversary date is not going to be remembered by most others. I can’t tell you the dates of any weddings I’ve attended or been in. I say let it go and take your vacation or reschedule it. Doesn’t sound like she plans on changing her plans.
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  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    Are you guys close?
    I could imagine my sister maybe forgetting my wedding date and choosing that date herself, no big deal. But I couldn’t imagine her not care whether I come or not care about changing her date to any other weekend when she has no venues or vendors.
    At this point, I think you should go on your honeymoon. You had plans beforehand and if she can’t change her plans and you can’t either, that’s how it is.
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  • Haley
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Haley ·
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    We are close but since she met her fiancé and moved an hour away we aren’t as close. She also has a four month old so I totally get she probably had mom brain and forgot Her only sister got married on the 18th but it’s just the fact she didn’t even discus her wedding with me or my mom to talk about what dates she was thinking of. She said ‘ he already texted his cousins the date’ a week after they got engaged this April. I just wanted her to wait another year to better plan things because I would love to go. Oh, she said she didn’t care if I went because her fiancé won’t let any siblings be bridesmaids because it would be too many people since he has five sisters, on one side. Also she’s using my Pinterest wedding board to plan her colors and wedding since, I quote ‘ I eloped and didn’t get to have a big wedding so she can use all the ideas’ but that’s just her personality. Basically my sister is the sister from ‘27 dresses’ 😅🙄😅
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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    I could see her thinking sharing a wedding date would be cool, but considering you never got the wedding you wanted due to Covid and you planned your anniversary trip first and your sister knew about it before picking her date, it just seems really selfish of her to expect you to change your plans to be at her wedding.

    I don't think you would be wrong to go on your trip and skip the wedding. Your sister put herself in that position when she didn't consider you and your existing plans at all when picking her date.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Wow they both sound awful! Your sister sounds very self-centered and I would have lost it on her with the comments she has made. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with such a difficult situation. Given everything you said, I would go on your honeymoon/vacation.
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  • T
    Dedicated October 2021
    Tammy ·
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    This behavior is what I was concerned about. She seems very self centered and unhealthy competitive. Seems like she doesn't care at all and at the same time wants to rub your face in it. Can you change your Pinterest pass code or delete it. I think it would be very disrespectful to basically plan her wedding on your day using all the ideas, vendors and style you wanted but couldn't have.
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  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
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    Ok I might be the only one, but I think you both are in the wrong your sister more so than you. You are in the wrong only because you don't own a date, just because you got married that day doesn't mean anyone in your family or friends can't getting married on that date as well the next year. But your sister is in the wrong because she should have at least checked with you before deciding on that date. She didn't have to check with everyone she planned on inviting but she could have at least checked with her family. And she is double wrong for in so many words telling you she didn't care if you showed up, that makes her sound like a terrible sister. If I was you since she clearly doesn't care about you being there, I'd totally skip her wedding for your honeymoon.
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