Sisters wedding - no bridesmaids but wants a second shower.

Did your sister flat out ask you to throw her a shower? Because if she did, you had and have the option to say that you cannot afford to do that. She can then ask someone else to do it. There is no obligation for you to do it. I would decide; do I want to throw this party and if yes, how much am I willing to spend. Then you plan the shower you can afford. If she doesn't want what you can afford then they can ask someone else of skip it.

She can't make you throw her a shower. In the case of no bridesmaids I have found that it usually falls to the mother of either party or perhaps even an aunt. But, only if they want to.

Anyone can throw a bridal or wedding shower for the couple. It is not restricted to bridesmaids; that would imply that anyone who chooses not to have a wedding party doesn’t get to have a bridal shower. You have no obligation in this example; if you don’t want to, simply don’t offer. If he is pushing it on you, just explain you don’t have the finances or time/resources right now. The fact that he’s asking is kind of rude TBH. His sister or your sister’s friends can step up instead if they so choose. I definitely wouldn’t do it since you threw her a shower previously. If the SIL wants to do it, but your sister won’t accept a firehall because it is beneath her standards or something, that’s on your sister if she declines the offer, and not your problem to solve.

That's not my experience at all. I've only ever seen housewares at a wedding/bridal shower, never lingerie or bridal accessories.

Was your sister just engaged before or married before? If the wedding fell through, did she not return the gifts?

That is in extremely poor taste. I probably wouldn't even attend another shower for her if that was the case.

His side, or really anyone that wants to, need to plan either a co-ed shower or a grooms shower. If you don't want to, don't. Showers (are) should be bonus parties that should never be expected by a couple. Couples cannot just demand that people throw parties in their honor.

Whoa. First, not having someone throw you a shower is not suffering. Second, like everyone else said, anyone *can choose* to throw a shower, but once a couple starts demanding their family and friends spend money, time, and energy on a "gift" (a party is a huge gift) it's no longer a gift.

I appreciate that you were being nice to your sister's future sister-in-law when you said you would help, and then she dropped out so you feel stuck. But you know what? She dropped out for her own reasons; you can, too! And not wanting to undertake the financial obligation of throwing a party is a completely valid reason. Just decline this "honor", with your apologies, and refuse to be guilted into doing this.

Edited to add: Don't mention the fact that this would be your sister's 2nd shower or her past behavior (calling off the wedding and keeping the gifts) as a reason for declining to throw the shower. Though I completely understand your feelings about that, saying those feelings aloud will get you no where good. Stick to the financial, time, and energy bit and then change the subject.

I think in addition to your sister's FH's poor point of view on this subject, he is underestimating how willing the same guests will be to give another gift when she kept all gifts last time after cancelling the wedding. What's done is done, but as a guest, I would probably bring a card and my best wishes and support, but forgo another gift.