Skip Sister's wedding

View Quoted Comment I mean not paying for an escort etc

Hi James! Sorry you’re going through this. Do you feel comfortable talking to your sister about your concerns? Maybe if you have a one on one sit down with her she will understand. As far as the rest of your family, it is not their place to feel any way towards it and whatever feelings they have are their burden not yours. I think that voicing this to her will start to alleviate some of the stress, for me , the weight of unknowing can be a lot heavier than a tough conversation.

But also, why has no one mentioned that a plus one isn't necessary? My brother is a shy introvert who's never been on a date. No one is expecting him to bring a plus one. I'll go out on a limb and say the same probably applies for you.

View Quoted Comment Probably
I can give it a shot

View Quoted Comment No my parents and sister and her fiance are allowing me to bring a plus 1

View Quoted Comment

Are they allowing you? Or forcing you?

View Quoted Comment Allowing me
They said if I don't find one in time I will go solo which is really not what I want

View Quoted Comment It's not Mike and Dave level Lol!

View Quoted Comment

As a fellow bride, I personally wouldn't want you to bring a random stranger that I've either rarely or never met to my wedding, especially considering that I'd have to shell out more money to accommodate them. If you'd been dating someone for a while, it'd be a different story. It seems that your family is perfectly fine with the idea of you not bringing a date.

Judging from your tone throughout this post, I think you've already made your decision to not go. I think you're looking for some validation here. If you don't want to go, be steadfast in your decision and be prepared to deal with any potential consequences. I probably wouldn't be too happy if my brother skimped out on my wedding just because he didn't "feel comfortable" without a date. And I apologize if I'm coming off as harsh, but I think it would help to have a perspective from opposite sides of the spectrum.

View Quoted Comment I completely understand where you're coming from


I'm just not sure how to break it to my family aboút not going

Why do you even need to bring a plus one though? Can't you just go solo? It's not like you won't know anyone--this is your sister's wedding! That would take the pressure off having to find a date and seems like it would solve your problem.

View Quoted Comment You're right

I really think you should consider bringing a friend as a +1 to the wedding if you can’t find an actual date before then. I think skipping out on the wedding would really hurt your sister and your family, and it might cause a big strain in your relationships with them if you don’t at least explain that you might not want to be at the reception with enough advance that they’re prepared

View Quoted Comment I have almost zero female friends, and I don't know where to begin to try to find a +1


Ive always had issues with my family especially when I was living with them, I don't think straining the relationship with them would affect me all that much

View Quoted Comment Why do you even have to have a female friend come? You can’t invite a guy friend that you know you would have a good time with?


In regards to the relationship with your family, I’m really sorry that you feel like losing those relationships wouldn’t matter to you. I still think it might be the best move to try telling them how you feel. If they’re unsupportive and don’t understand, then you can at least know you did your part and that it’s on them. In the end it’s still your decision though obviously

View Quoted Comment Because I'm straight not gay


I'm just not sure how to bring up possibly skipping the wedding to them

I think the biggest question I have is are you prepared to have your sister never speak to you again if you choose not to attend her wedding because you couldn’t find a date. I didn’t care who didn’t attend our wedding but I can tell you that if a sibling had chosen not to come for this reason, I wouldn’t bother having a relationship with them after that.


Continue to seek therapy and understand that it’s ok to attend events alone. Go, celebrate your sister, leave early (after dinner) if you need to, but understand that what you’re suggesting doing is likely to hurt your sister immensely.

View Quoted Comment I completely understand what I'm getting into if I skip the wedding

View Quoted Comment Bringing a friend to a wedding isn’t gay. I don’t understand how it’s such a problem to go with a friend if you can’t find a +1. You’re complaining about how you can’t meet people because of covid, refusing to pay for a date, and now you’re saying you refuse to go with a friend or even one of your “few female friends” so it just kinda seems like you’re looking for any excuse not to go.

View Quoted Comment It's not what I want!
I don't want to go if I do not have a female +1!