Small ceremony, big reception?

You should do what is best for you two. A casual party sounds like a lot of fun. Much less pressure. The one thing I might splurge on is a DJ if you want people to dance. Some people might be upset not being invited to the ceremony but that will be short lived.

We did a private ceremony before our big, traditional wedding, then announced it after the fact and let people know we were still planning on having the big party as long as COVID didn’t prevent it. We had zero negative reactions to that but we did have a full second ceremony and reception planned that everyone could still be a part of, so that may be why there were no complaints.


Even if that’s the case though, the way you choose to get married is about the two of you, not anybody else. So the real question is do the two of you both want this and will you both be happy with it. If you choose to do it privately and somebody is actually mad that they weren’t there, that is their issue to work through and it’s really not acceptable for them to make somebody else’s wedding ceremony about them and whether or not they got to be there. The only people who need or have a “right” to be there are you, your husband, and your officiant.
Personally, I have dreamed of a big traditional wedding my entire life but I ended up hating our big wedding due to a combo of COVID and family drama that ruined the last month leading up to it for me, so I would get married privately 1000x over. I loved that experience. My husband had a good time at the big wedding but also doesn’t regret that the “real” ceremony was private. So I suspect based on what you’ve said that you two wouldn’t have regrets either. Good luck!!

I was thinking about doing the same exact thing! I just started looking at venues and it is SO dang expensive. I was telling my husband that I would like to go down the non-traditional route and he agreed that it would be budget friendly. Looking forward to hearing what others have to say

We did the non traditional route and had a backyard wedding. I will say it wasn’t that cost effective versus a venue because we needed to rent bathrooms, tables and chairs for people to sit and a tent in case it rained. Food gets expensive. Will there be a family member willing to serve? Otherwise you’d have to pay for server and someone to clean up and take out garbages. It all adds up. I know you said you would be having it in a rental hall so bathrooms would be included but just think about all the extra things! Good luck!