Small ceremony, smaller invite-only private dinner reception

There is no way around offending people if you only invite them to the ceremony. People are dressing up, buying a gift, taking off work, and traveling, everything which costs them money. I think they deserve a little more than a 30-minute ceremony.

I would say keep the whole thing to the people that you really want to be at the reception. I agree there is no way to invite someone to the ceremony and NOT the reception.

I can see it maybe working if you have a larger ceremony (75 people) and a cake/coffee reception right after for everyone. Then go out to dinner with just immediate family/closest friends (like 20 people).

But if you only have 50 people at the ceremony and then invite 25 of them to the private dinner, you'll offend. IMO, it's less offensive to not get a wedding invitation at all, than to be invited and feel like you're treated as a 2nd class guest.

You can't really say, "OK, well, teh ceremony's over, so why don't y'all go out for a cup of coffee while the rest of us attend a party you're not invited to."

Could you do an afternoon ceremony, followed by a simple reception (just punch, cookies - folks could pitch in and bake, and an iPod), then the dinner?

I had the same problem, but we just decided to do an outdoor wedding kind of. It saved a lot of money. Btw, I like the date. It's my birthday!

It doesnt work without offending. I say either do everything the real small size you want

or

do what other have suggested-daytime wedding, just a nice cake and punch reception and then later, dinner with those closest do you.