Small "elopement" Ceremony Now - Big Reception Next Year?

Tou can definitely do this. Many couples did this in late 2020 and 2021 d ue to covid but also:

You can do "big reception" on the day of but without inviting all extended family!.

You dad and their siblings should understand that you have another family, yout mom's and your fiance has 2 families as well. You and your partner can make rules like kid-free, only those you talk to etc...

You don't have to invite eveyrone and I would bet an arm that out of the 100 from you dad's side, most of them are people you're not close to.

What about having a private ceremony just with immediate family, then a larger reception the same day? Seems like unnecessary work to have two events.

You can definitely do a private ceremony and a reception a year later but know there’s a very good chance you won’t feel like doing that later reception. You’ll be married, you’ll feel married and you may have different priorities than that party.

I did! Minimony with 6 people in 2020 and a vow renewal ceremony and reception in 2021! We were already married so I did not feel as much pressure. Also, got to have 2 celebrations

You don't "have" to have a big reception now or later! Do it how you want it, and people will get over it. I am planning my second wedding, and have not invited my extended family to either, just because its a ton of people and a ton of money, and no one was mad at me over it