Small guest counts: do you regret your day?

Woah that is crazy. Been told by so many brides precovid that they wish they had smaller weddings

That’s so sad. And I think very common unfortunately. I’ve had 3 friends and a family member get married in 2020. 3 had very small weddings and 1 just went to the court house. All 4 regret not waiting until after the pandemic to get married and be able to have their weddings. They all planned to have large receptions later but literally none of them did because the moment had passed and they didn’t feel excited about it any more. That’s one of the reasons we are waiting to have our wedding until 2022.

View Quoted Comment That's been my experience as well. I guess it all comes down to how much importance you put on your wedding. To some it's THE most important thing, to others its just a way to celebrate the marriage. Perspective.

We eloped last year because the pandemic cancelled our original plans. I have to admit the day felt so anticlimactic and that might be what they’re feeling. When you picture your wedding day one way your whole life and that doesnt happen, of course you are going to feel some disappointment. Ideally couples could elope and then have a big celebration later but I know it doesnt work out that way for everyone.

We cut down our list to 17 people because of Covid and actually had an amazing day. It was so stress free, we got to hang out with our friends more than we would have, and we also really got to enjoy being with each other. I get stressed super easily and having a bigger wedding would have been hard for me because I would have been focused on so many little unimportant details.

I had a 9 guest wedding in the backyard and I feel very married and the photos look unmistakably wedding.


We did the whole shebang with my dress, tux, flowers.
It's not the 80 guest wedding I had envisioned, but it was a beautiful day.

Nope, not one ounce of regret. We had a micro-wedding (before Covid) with 15 guests and it was amazing. We splurged on the venue & food/alcohol.


My favorite weddings I attended as a guest also had fewer than 50 guests. Usually more intimate and better guest experiences (venue, food, drinks).

I had a 20 person wedding (modified from
the original plan of 250 people due to COVID). Not at all what I originally planned, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I call my wedding my COVID rainbow — much less stress and cost than the original wedding I had planned. Like others, we splurged on the venue and food and did not cheat ourselves from having the full wedding experience even though the number of guests was limited. Our wedding day was simply amazing! We don’t regret our choice at all ... and we are (and feel) very married — lol!

I don't regret having the 7 guests that were there. Those people are still active in our lives today, whereas the 92 people precovid might not be. It was more comfortable, I felt less stress, and we really got to enjoy our6

I think it all depends on the couple and what they view is needed to have a true celebration. My fiancé and I are both introverts and were having anxiety of having a large guests list pre-covid and large for us was a little over 80. Ever since cutting the list down to half we feel so much better and more excited. We’re more of the, just have the people closest to you to have a great day kind of people. Same for birthdays, we keep them small with the most important people to us there because that’s all that is needed to make it special for us. We also like how intimate the wedding gets to be now. So everyone is different. And will have different feelings and experiences towards a micro wedding or minimony.

That’s crazy! Even before COVID, we opted for a smaller wedding. I come from a large family, his is smaller, plus he’s a firefighter so that’s a big fire family. If we invited all of them, we were looking at around 250+ which is something we didn’t want. We wanted that small, intimate wedding so our guest list is around 90. I have 49 days before I marry my best friend, that’s the part I’m excited about!

From what I've been gathering from brides posting on WW since the pandemic happened, the majority of brides who are unhappy, are those who opted to get married on their date with minimal celebration, and plan to have a bigger "second wedding" ceremony after. The problem with that, is in reality, you really only have one wedding day. And if you don't put everything into your actual wedding day (wear the big dress, get a cake, splurge!, and go through all the things that you truly want on your day) you're stuck waiting for this big celebration, but that day won't feel the same because you're already married. All of the BAM posts on this forum for people who moved forward, clearly put everything into that day and it was the best day of their lives! And I know that might not be the case for everyone, but I know if I don't make my small wedding everything I dreamed it to be, I'll be missing what could have been.

My husband and I had a minimony with only 35 guests in October and it definitely feels like we are married lol. Granted we are having a big wedding this upcoming October (only because I have my dress and my bridesmaids have theirs as well). If I would've worn my big dress last October I wouldn't even have postponed the big wedding!

Absolutely not. Our wedding was the most magical, personal, and intimate wedding in the whole world. I personally feel so grateful covid put a limit because I would be one of those brides trying to talk to 300 guests half I don’t know or will ever see again and trying to enjoy myself. This intimate wedding gave us the time to truly appreciate our time, each other (which is what it is all about), and sneak off for a few minutes to a romantic spot, too!

I think it really depends on your overall vision for the wedding that you had in mind. Myself we are only having 40 people that was always our plan and so I’m sure that we won’t feel that way. However if you’ve always dreamed of a ball room full of everybody that you know being limited to 20 or even 50 people I’m sure would be disappointing on some level. In the scheme of things with all the pomp that we put into our weddings the whole point of the day is to get married and share our nuptials with our family the rest of it is just icing on the cake

We Had A Wedding With 60 Guests-Which Was Our Original Count , We Had An Entire Table Not Show Up After RSVPing Yes So Maybe About 55 Guests Total. It Was A Great Day And Honestly It Depends On The Couple. What Is And Isnt Important To Them.

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We are getting married this April after postponing, but I feel this way too. And the longer people postpone their "big celebration" after getting legally married already, the fewer of those will actually happen. Some will have kids, some will have other family members or friends get engaged. Other things will take priority. It's hard to keep up the excitement indefinitely especially as life moves on.

I feel like a lot of people felt pressured to get legally married on their original date - I know people encouraged us to. But I wouldn't have enjoyed it either. If you are planning a wedding for 100-200 people, and that is what you want, then you're not going to be happy with a small thing.

I'd guess this is less about the size of the wedding and more about having to change your plans and not having the wedding you envisioned. For me, I always planned to have a small wedding, so I will definitely not regret it, but someone who envisioned a large wedding and then was forced into a small one I could see being unhappy with it.

View Quoted Comment This. We were not going to wait longer to get married (engaged for almost 2.5 years at that point), so had just our parents and a sibling each in attendance. I had been planning a 200+ wedding for two years, that I was really looking forward to. That changed to a 10 person wedding in a national park, which had to change to a 10 person wedding in a local park when the NP closed due to fires a week out from our date. Because of all the constant changes, and the fact that we were done with everything in about 2-3 hours (ceremony, pictures, brunch), I think it took a lot of the anticipated feeling away from the day. It didn’t help that my students still call me by my maiden name (ended up getting married during the school year instead of the summer). The feeling of “being married” came more once I finished changing my name on all documents. Ultimately, I found silver linings to the way our wedding turned out (we got the most incredible adventure shoot in the NP a month later), it still wasn’t the day I envisioned for years. We plan to have a reception this fall (no ceremony, because our wedding date was our wedding), so we can hopefully celebrate with all the people who weren’t there (wedding party, extended family, friends). If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, and we’ll move on (and hopefully be able to put that extra money into our honeymoon we never got to take since international travel isn’t allowed).

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Me too Alli! My modified Plan B wedding was my COVID rainbow. I was planning a 250 person wedding and would have never even considered a smaller wedding, but COVID forced my hand . . . and my smaller wedding was better than I could have ever imagined!