Small Simple Wedding - Reception Thoughts

Yes this is inappropriate. You need to pay for the guests. If you can’t afford to pay for meals for everyone, you can have a ceremony and quick cake and punch reception at a non-meal time (2-4pm).

The fact is we might not have a reception per se at all, mostly due to costs of renting space, etc. This will be her 3rd marriage and my 2nd and due to our recent coming out we are not sure how many will be in attendance. Guess we will just have to see how our budget comes along. Anyone with any ideas? We are getting married in November at 4pm (outside/sunset). An outdoor reception is really off the table.

This would be inappropriate. You need to host your guests. If cost is an issue, have a house party after the ceremony (don't ask people to bring food/liquor, you still need to host it). You can get pizza, a big hero, deli platters, BBQ, Mexican, all cost effective options. You can serve wine and beer only. You should not invite people to a ceremony at 4pm and then not feed them.

I would do a cake and punch reception at a non meal time. Look at community centers, fire halls, or churches. Depending on budget you could also do a private room at a restaurant but you would need to cover the cost of everyone’s food and drink.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this.

Maybe you could do your ceremony at like 2, cake and punch reception from 2:30-4:30, and then mention to your guests that they’re welcome to join you for dinner afterwards? This way you’re still hosting them with cake and punch but they have the option to go out to dinner with you after too, but then that dinner would just be an optional “dinner after the reception” instead of calling it the reception itself. Sort of like an informal morning-after brunch where everyone pays for themselves.

View Quoted Comment I agree. Just trying to figure things out. Thanks for the ideas

I don't know that you can realistically pass on the cost of your reception to your guests. You know your crowd and how they would feel about that better than I do though. I personally couldn't do it as it's just not done that way in my family / circle of friends. I was just at a cousin's wedding the other weekend that was similar size to yours and they reserved a side room at a local brewery and had pizzas/salad brought in (the vast majority of our local breweries don't offer food so it's easy to bring it in). I don't think they spent all that much $ for the beer and pizza/salad.

If you cant afford to host guests, you shouldn't invite guests. Hard stop. Have you thought about eloping?

Do an extended cocktail hour with appetizers instead.

No it’s not rude ! But I would make sure to let every guest know just in case someone happens to not have the funds. Also you could bring the cake if you wanted. Just call the restaurant first and maybe choose a restaurant with a party room

A lot of people may not come due to the fact that the meal is not free. Eloping and announcing it with Marriage announcements may take a lot of stress off of the wedding planning and is more intimate. After all the day is about you two and your love for each other. The plus side to eloping is you can spend more money on the honeymoon

I don’t think so. Just let your guests know ahead of time that you’re not having a formal reception but if anyone wants to come out to eat with you afterward, they are free to. Just make it clear that you won’t be able to cover everyone’s bill. We just went to my FH’s wedding on Sunday, and after the ceremony, about 10 of the guests went to a restaurant with the bride and groom for dinner. We all paid for our own meals.

In regards to my previous comment because I can’t figure out how to edit it, I meant FH’s dad’s wedding lol!

Also, at my friend’s wedding last year, and at my grandparents’ wedding before I was born, they had a potluck type thing. They just asked their guests to bring a dish if they could. If you know your guests would be okay with it, there’s nothing wrong with it! We are getting a caterer but my guests are insisting on bringing a dish! Haha

First, congratulations on coming out!! It is a hard thing to do still in this day especially if your adult life has been with men! So I celebrate you both and your happiness!! Secondly it just Depends on your crowd and your situation. One of my friends had a reception like that at an expensive restaurant! I wouldnt Suggest that but as long as you are up front with your guest it shouldn’t be bad. But if you’re already by a lake, a bbq style could be affordable and if your into potlucks maybe supply the main dish and instead of a gift bring a dish. Some people enjoy pot lucks! A year from now just putting a small amount of money aside could help!! Happy Planning!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your support. It’s been interesting considering our small town and the lack of the LGBT community our age In our county

View Quoted Comment You’re welcome!! It’s so great being free though even when people don’t understand it! Coming out was the best decision I have Ever made I just wish I came Out earlier!!

Yes. Inviting people to an event, to pay for their own meals, is rude. Just have a cake and punch reception so no meal is served. If I was invited to an event and was told to pay for my own meal, I wouldn't go. It wouldn't be any different than me going out to eat at a restaurant, except I don't get to pick the restaurant or who I go with.

If you were inviting like 10 people to witness your ceremony and then going out to dinner you would still pay. That is a reception. There are places that are inexpensive. I have 43 guests and our wedding without DJ bc were still looking for one is Under $4k to start