We are officially married! On Saturday, October 12th, I married my best friend, and we had one epic wedding. It did not go perfect, but it went perfectly imperfect & as set us up for a ton of great stories and memories.
The bad:
About 10 days before the wedding, a bridesmaid bailed. I saw it coming, and honestly should have removed her from the wedding party prior, she chose to drop out herself. By that time, I was out the money for her gift, floral, food, had to redo setting & welcome boards. It was super stressful.
The cake topper – this one has me really upset still, because I didn’t love the way the cake looked in photos. Everyone said how delicious the cupcakes were, some people said that they were the best that they ever had – I didn’t like them, they were too sweet for me. Anyway, we bought a very expensive, custom cake topper, that I spent 2 weeks working w/ the seller to do in our likeness (I also called the baker up 3x times – including the day before the wedding – and told her about the topper, and the weight & that I wanted the topper on top of the cake) and the baker decided to put the topper next to the cake & flowers on the top of the cake because she believes “it photographed better” no one even saw our very expensive topper, but rather the cheap flowers that she put on. Every time that I look at our cake I want to cry, it was not what I ordered, I asked for burlap on the stand, no burlap. I’m trying to let this go, because I really didn’t want to use this baker, but my husband really liked the cupcakes & thought that she was going to be professional – I tried explaining that she was rude. Well she was rude, and she ruined my cake. BTW, I think the cake flowers look ugly.
A groomsman bailed the day of the wedding, this wasn’t as bad as the bridesmaid bailing, as it didn’t cause me the same kind of stress, the groomsman & his wife were both at the rehearsal dinner, and he partied WAY too much the night before & early morning of the wedding and couldn’t stand the morning of – some of the other groomsmen offered to do a Weekend @ Bernies Esq w/ him, but he had no humor for that. This was funny and a bit sad, because we really wanted him to be in the wedding party & especially at the wedding. FH (now husband but he was still FH when he sent me a text on Saturday morning, before our first look – goes, I have something to tell you & I think that I should tell you in person. I never thought that he was calling off the wedding, but my mind went right to his grandfather. I was like, oh no – is it grandpop). He told me via a text, & I took it better than anyone expected. LOL
Time – time was not on our side. Friday was a complete blur & we were 30 mins late for the first look on Saturday (my hair took forever to do).
Tips – I completely forgot to give them out. I had them all in envelopes and then just forgot. We wound up dropping the tips for the servers & bartenders off the day after, and then tipping the rest of our vendors via Venmo.
The weird:
So, I truly believe that my life should be a sitcom and the below just highlights why.
The original plan was for FH (still FH & not husband) to bring the dog to the venue for pics & ceremony, after the ceremony I had a dog walker coming to pick up dog from the ceremony & take him back to the hotel. Seems easy enough, but FH got confused & thought that a dog walker was bringing him to the ceremony & back to the hotel. We were taking pics & our photographer goes, alright we just need the ones w/ the doggy – I look at FH & go, where’s the dog, and FH responds, hmm I’m not sure where the guy is – at that time, I almost lost it. Thankfully my one bridesmaid boyfriend didn’t leave the hotel, I was able to talk to the front desk & beg them to escort him to the room to get the dog. He got the dog, and the dog arrived with moments to spare. It was kind of great – I was in the one room & the entire wedding party was in the tent outside (which I could see in a bit from the glass doors) & when the dog arrived, they all silently cheered & got his suit on super quick. No one in attendance even knew that there was a problem.
The great:
Honestly, there are so many great portions of the day/weekend.
That the dog made it into the wedding – it’s such a fun story to tell, especially since no one outside of the wedding party had any idea. My in-laws hosted such a nice rehearsal dinner. It really was a great time. Friday night was so much fun, we thought that Saturday was going to be a blowout afterparty, but Friday turned out to be the pre-party – everyone in the wedding party hung outside by the fire of the hotel and was talking & getting along. Most people didn’t know each other. My uncle & aunt made a weekend of it, and my aunt bought a round of drinks for my husband family who flew in for the wedding. Husband & I (at this time he was my husband) rocked our choregraphed dance (we took 15x dance lessons & it showed). Everyone stood the entire time and clapped and cheered at the more advanced moves. The DJ had everyone on the dance floor all afternoon! I was a bit surprised b/c I know that afternoon weddings can be hit or miss w/ dancing. The food was delicious – multiple people said it was the best crab cake that they ever tasted. The photo booth was so much fun, we have a book of almost 200x photos from people. The place that we used had the best props. Fun tidbit my friends love my husband. My one bridesmaid almost picked a sign that said team bride – but then chose again, because she loves my husband & she is team both of us! Everyone got along – we had multiple nationality, political opinions, etc. (so thumbs up for everyone being adults). Close to the end my 2x co-workers did the “jump on it dance” routine from Fresh Prince of Belair (it was awesome) and a few people mentioned how cool it looked – only sad part was no one captured it on video. Everyone said how much fun the wedding was and how nice everything was, the weather was perfect. The big dog walked so nicely down the aisle (some people were a bit concern about this, but not me). We did get some photos of us w/ the dog – after the ceremony before the dog walker came. My MOH rocked the day, she met me early at the lobby, drove me to Starbucks for an egg white wrap (I really wanted one - and it was the one thing that I didn't order for the group breakfast), gave the best toast – everyone burst out laughing, then teared up, then burst out laughing again. She went through the reception and took so many photos. My MIL called me up & told me how much fun everyone had – even her cousin who came and is known to be a bit ehh said it was such a great wedding. The officiant was amazing, she made a few people cry – including my usually cool dad with a heart of stone had to keep his head down during the ceremony because he almost cried. We did a wine ceremony and quite a few people never saw that & said that it was awesome. Our friend who did the procession music on the guitar was so, so good (I only heard the song he did for me, but everyone said that the music was awesome). My one nephew came in doing cartwheels during the reception introduction (which was met by lots of cheers and set the celebratory mood). My dad came up to my husband & told him that he has made him a very happy man. My husband refers to the day as the best day of his life. I danced with my father-in-law, my husband danced with my mother. My dad (who usually never dances) was on the dance floor going hard (think John Travolta Staying alive esq ).
The ugly
Following the wedding, and still now I am so burnt out. I just planned so much. The stress of the day, plus dealing with that bridesmaid & everything really taxed me, and I woke up sick the day after the wedding and am still sick.
The cake topper – I know that I mentioned it above, it really upsets me.
Tips:
These forums are great, but nothing beats knowing your crowd & your friends
If you can, get the open bar
I didn’t want an unplugged ceremony – I wanted to see guests photos – instead I just requested that the officiant mention for everyone to stay out of the aisle, it seemed to work
You DO NOT have to keep someone in your wedding party
It is your & your FS wedding, enjoy every moment of it, don’t cater to your guests – our guests were there to celebrate us. Afterwards, I was talking to some of my friends, and I asked if they had a fun, and they said that it was a blast – but they said more importantly did my & my husband have fun! Don’t forget the day is about you & your FS.
Try not to worry about the little things & go with the flow (I’m still trying to follow my own advise in regards to the cake topper).
Bring your own facewash & makeup. The H&MU did a great job, but my mid-way through the reception I was sweating – like really sweating, tulle is HEAVY & my makeup looked awful. I wished that I could remove it and put my own makeup on. My bridesmaid helped me blot off the extra sweat – it helped a bit.
If you get a photo booth, make sure you take lots of pics. I wished that I took a few more photo booth pics
The robes come in handy – especially if you are getting your H&MU done. You can take your shirt off prior & wear the robe & not ruin the hair & makeup by lifting the shirt over your head.
Cost breakdown
Roughly
$30,000. Not including Rehearsal dinner which was provided by In-laws
Venue: $15,500 (all inclusive, included lunch, open bar, cake, linens, DOC, flatware, chairs, tables, draping in control climate tent, reception room, ceremony location, candy station).
Dress, veil, shoes, alterations: $1500
Flowers: $1,081 (included 5x bouquets, 11x boutonnieres, 2x wrist corsages, 1x pin corsage)
Groomsmen/Bridesmaid/flower girls’ gifts: $850
DJ: $995
Photo booth $670
Photography $1500
Videographer $750 (1x 11 min video & 1x 3 min video)
Officiant: $500
StD, Invitations, Detail cards, address envelopes: $800
Menus, table signs, place cards $450
H&MU: $1300 (with tip)
FH tux rental: $240
Favors: $230
Custom dog tux: $188
Rehearsal cake: $95
Shuttle service: $300
Extending hotel bar: $95
Parents gifts $100
Decorations: $350
Dance lessons: $1300
Custom cake topper $250 (that the baker didn’t use) – I’m working on letting it go. It’s hard.
Hotel room with dog fee $176
I know that I am forgetting a few things
Getting ready! 
Getting ready! 
My favorite! 
The dog takes better photos than I do. 
Best man toast! 
