So disappointed! Divorced parent struggles..

I'm sorry that really sucks. I am sure if you talked to your mom about it she would probably not be understanding at all. Maybe sit down and try and talk to you dad again and tell him how important it is to you and FH that he is there along with his wife.

I'm sorry that's not fair that they aren't willing to be civil for one after party. But at least they will be there for the weddin/reception.

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's such a bummer even after all these years your parents are still not willing to work things out and be civil.

Kayla- you're right that convo would not go over well at all, it would turn into a "you love you father more than me" type argument. I am just so over it I wish they would all man up for 24 hours then they never have to see each other again

Damn that sucks. I think Kayla is 100% on it. If he agrees to come then talk to you mom and make it clear that you expect her to behave. Sorry you're dealing with this.

That is crappy, I wish everyone could just be adults and deal with it. Honestly, I really think your dad is in the wrong in this one case, even though your mom just sort of invited herself you can't exactly boot her out. Maybe try talking to your dad one more time... I can't imagine so much hate that they can't at least ignore each other for 12 hours for their daughter. Unless your mom pulled a gun on him or something... that could be a deal breaker. I'm sorry you have to deal with this- my mom and dad aren't exactly friendly, but I know they'll be cordial for 12 hours for my sake.

Well my sister got married two years ago and she was kind of crazy. She made a huge fuss about sitting next to my dad at the RD so the next day at the wedding she totally changed up the ceremony seating on purpose so my dad and his wife ended up in the second row. She also never rsvpd to her wedding and just showed up at the RD. Which was freaky-we all did a double take.

My parents hate each other and luckily I cut my dad out of my life three years ago. I feel for you, but depending on your relationship with her, I would tell her she's not invited in favor of the parent who has been there for you. That's just me.

@muscularteeth I think he is in the wrong too, I understand where he's coming from but I was hoping it could be forgotten for the day.

Krystyna- I could do that, but my mom is sick, she's bipolar and I don't want to upset her. I think, as crazy as she is sometimes, she would be very hurt if I told her not to go and I don't want her to feel hurt on my wedding day.

That's a little different. My dad isn't mentally ill; he's just a jerk. In your situation, I understand why you'd want to tread lightly. Your dad needs to budge on the issue and think of what's really important: YOU.

I think I just need to suck it up- losing battle. Thanks for all the advice! Nice to just vent about it.