So, i decided to make a pretend invitation type of thing

6-9 months out is WAY to early to ask for RSVPs. No one knows if they will be available on a certain date that far out... and I have seen tons of brides here who sent them early like this and ended up with tons of people not responding, and a lot of those who did ended up changing their RSVPs closer to or just not showing up. You can send out information that early, but not the official invite & RSVP. That can be done 3 months prior at the earliest.

You are going to do what you want to do in the end, but keep in mind it is gonna cause you more problems in the long run.

I love the idea of a kicked back, relaxed, backyard wedding and everything sounds wonderful. I just worry that you are opening yourself up to major drama and extra stress by asking people what they want rather than just providing what you and your FH decide upon.

We had table games at our wedding to keep people occupied while we took our pictures and everyone loved it! We had playing cards, Yahtzee and bingo, plus a DIY photo booth. I think your guests will love that you are providing this for them.

Oh and as far as invites, you can use the app/website Evites to keep everything cheap and easy. Actually it is totally free, you can send it out in either email or text form then your guests can respond. Plus you can set a "reminder" to go out to all the guests who RSVP'd yes either a week before, the day before whatever you set it for. That is what we did and it worked amazing.

I wouldn't put all this information on an invite. It is way too much to read thru to find the vital info like time and place.

It sounds like you want to send out a Save the Date 6 to 9 months out. That is a good idea. It gives your guests just enough info that far out to mark their calendars but I don't think they need to know what activities will be at the wedding.

You could send the invitation out 6-8 weeks before asking for RSVP's back by 1 month out. That is normal. At this point you could mention ceremony starts at 1pm, photos at 11:30am, and picnic reception to follow with the address. Again I don't think you need to list all the details from sandboxes to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

On that note you mentioned allergies that you are worried about, but you are serving bread (gluten allergy), peanut butter (nut allergy), and milk (lactose allergy). You might want to consider other options along with the fact that 2 loaves of bread will only serve about 10 people.

I also would reconsider inviting everyone an hour and a half early for your ceremony to take pictures. You will probably have enough time after the ceremony with your small guest list to take photos with everyone. Otherwise it leaves them waiting around for a long time.

Are you asking people to bring food and drinks? This is not always advised since it is difficult to coordinate and keep all the various foods warm or cold. You wouldn't want guests getting sick. It is also rude to invite guests to a wedding where you are supposed to host them and then ask them to provide the food and drink.

I'll be blunt here. This "invite" is a bit of a hot mess. It's hard to read and there is simply too much information to wade through. This sort of thing is why wedding websites exist in the first place.

If you don't like what the current wedding websites provide in terms of structure and content, you can always set up one with an empty template and make it barebones (personally, I'm building my own website from scratch, but I'm a software engineer). At the very least, you need to set this up on an Evite or a FB event, or at least *something* that you can update and guests can refer back to. It seems like you don't have your details hammered out, so do you really want to be constantly texting/calling your guests every time something changes?

Lastly, it seems like you are trying to do a potluck wedding, which is a BAD IDEA. Where are guests going to store their food? What if it needs to be reheated? How will things stay cold? How will food be distributed? Are you expecting people to make their own sandwiches? And you mention allergies, but frankly, PBJ sandwiches are notoriously not allergy-friendly.

I think you are setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary stress and drama here.

I love a good backyard wedding and a potluck. I agree you should not combine the two. I also recommend against self catering. I've seen taco carts at house parties, they're budget friendly and delicious (in my area).

I recommend against inviting guests early for photos. My photographer has a section in his contract about "interference." When you're the bride and groom, everyone gets excited and tries to take pictures of you, especially while you're posing for formal photos. When there are too many cameras, and your camera happy guests are urging you to look their way, everyone in the photo will be looking at different directions and that would ruin the shot.

My DJ says ask guests for their genre preferences. Don't ask for a specific song or they'll get mad if their song isn't played.

For the RSVP, make sure you list exactly who is invited and how many seats will be reserved. You don't want to turn your wedding into an open invite house party, that would blow up your guest count.

Happy planning!

Everyone else has got it.

-This is wayy to much information for an invite

-Potlucks are dangerous

-you can't have a "hopeful" date, pick a date and stick with it.

-You're sending these out wayyy to early and asking for RSVPs way too early (especially when you don't even know it it'll be your actual date)

I would change them 100%

To each their own.

It was a rough draft just getting ideas. A lot of it will go in the invite card (whatever form I chose) and on the rsvp and people can specify. Everyone is doing things for their great day. Me and my FH and other responses don't think it's a bad idea. I'm taking consideration other needs and making sure they don't starve. My nephew can't eat any meat except red, I can't have red meat, my niece, can't have gluten or eggs, and goes on. So, thought this idea was versatile.