So I was invited to a second marriage wedding shower...

Well just respectfully decline and leave it at that.

DMN, I can sympathize with you. Both of my cats are currently unemployed, too.

Haha I struck a cord.

I think your best bet is to just keep your judgement to yourself and decline the invitation.

When my husband got divorced, he gave away most of what he kept to a family who lost everything in a fire. So he had absolutely nothing left over from the first marriage.

I'm just saying don't assume the worst.

This will be both my and FH second marriage. We are not having a bridal party but I can see one of my friends trying to throw me a shower. I don't want one and would decline; unless it was a surprise (I sure hope it isn't.) For the record I didn't have a shower with my first marriage either.

If you already declined the wedding, then don't go to the shower. Obviously you think she is being gift grabby - so you would go to the shower with a bad taste in your mouth already.

I don't think it is gift-grabby at all.

This isn't someone that I just became friends with. I was at her first wedding shower... So I do know a great deal of the story from her telling me. Obviously only the couple knows the full story. To me it seems gift grabby, and I can't get over that at all. If it was a different situation maybe I'd feel different. But I don't at all.

Her first marriage was 8 years ago. It's not like she was married last year. And you're not even going to the wedding so there's no need to be offended by it. This will be FH's second marriage, and he and I have lived together for 3 years, but our families still want to throw us a shower. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe she has family members who care about her and are excited to support her in this way.

You mean you struck a chord by being a catty judgmental person? Yes, you absolutely did. I don't know what you expected....for a whole bunch of people to pat you on the back and validate you for trash talking someone? Or do you need validation of your own opinion on someone that none of us know? If you think it's gift grabby then decline with regrets like a normal, classy person.

If we cancelled showers because the marrying couple doesn't need to furnish a home, NO ONE would have one anymore-- who gets married straight from home or out of school anymore? Think of it as just another wedding related party and take a token gift or just send a decline.

I don't agree with the bride throwing herself a shower regardless of how many times she has been married. Period.

This is my second marriage. My MOH threw me a shower even though I told her not too from the very beginning. I made the world's smallest registry because I have all that I need and don't see the point in asking for a Soda Stream or a Ninja Blender just because I can. I've owned my house for 10 years...I'm established. I was kind of pissed about the whole shower thing because I never wanted one and I felt people would feel how you feel about it. I did not plan it and only learned about it before hand because we had plans for that day already. I tried to get excited about it but couldn't because I couldn't help but feel that everyone thought I was an asshole for having a second shower that I never wanted.

Don't pass judgement. Her friend's or family could be throwing it for her without her knowledge.

My entire point was exactly what I posted, to ask if second marriage wedding showers were a thing now. WW can be so weird sometimes on what is view as gift grabby compared to not. I was curious for a general consensus. The cat comment was funny, I'm sorry if you were butt hurt by it.

I am finding you rather judgmental I am a second time bride. I think it is a sweet gesture that someone is hosting a shower for her. What bride wouldn't enjoy visiting with her friends and family, have some cake and punch, and receive a few new things for the start of her new marriage?

I don't see anything wrong with it if someone is hosting it for her/them. I threw a bridal shower for my sister's second marriage. Mainly because I was only 16 or so when she was married the first time, and I wasn't able to throw one for her then.

As for the unemployed cat fund, I would totally donate just for the laugh! : )

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This was my second marriage and DH's first. I had a shower the first time. But DH's family and my family was adamant that they wanted us to have one. I had very mixed emotions about it. I felt uncomfortable, gift grabby and bad for having one and bad for even inviting friends that had come the first time. But my family and friends made me look at it as its wasn't being fair to my DH and his family to deny them of the experience. So I gave in and fortunately all my friends and family came, celebrated and had a great time. Honestly, if any were against it I would have wanted them to decline rather than feel obligated to come. I guess I'm very lucky here that everyone supported me and we're happy to see me get remarried to a wonderful man. And if they were against the shower, no one said anything to me, and for that I'm glad. It would have made me feel terrible. Being a second time bride does have some very mixed emotions. I'm sure several others will agree on this forum.

So, if you don't support your friend and don't want to go, politely decline and please don't go. But be a good friend and don't say anything and wish her well and much happiness. Everyone deserves that....

@Emmy I either need to get my cat a tie or she's going to have to start working the corner!

Lol back pedalling......

What do you know, you "clarify" that you were genuinely asking for opinions after pretty much everyone told you that you're being a judgmental jerk. Oh okay. At least own up to things when you're wrong, jesus.

@Janeen Nope my original post remains the same. No back pedal here, again sorry you got butt hurt.