...and still having to deal with guest list stuff. A cousin the other day was like, "hey I'm probably not gonna make it after all, but I'm trying to get my son to come in my place because I feel bad that you already paid for the meal," and on the one hand it's considerate of her to consider that I paid for the meal and on the other hand i'm like, "....he wasn't invited. You don't get to send a proxy to my wedding. I get to decide what to do with that meal."
She decided she is coming, so now my other aunt is like, "hey Dad of that guest you should come since she will be here from California!" And my Mom had to tell her that we have turned in numbers to the caterers and we can't just accommodate any family who wants to change their mind. And beyond that, am I super rude for thinking that this is our wedding so people who love us can come celebrate with us and see us get married...and if you weren't interested in coming to see that before that you don't need to come now that someone you want to see is going to be there? Like...sorry, come to town and see your daughter while she is here, but do it somewhere other than my wedding.
Usually my family is a very inclusive bunch, like it's not unusual for all the ex'es to hang around and still come to stuff and for all of my mom's entire family to show up at my aunt's in-laws family reunion. It's super confusing for people marrying in to figure out the family tree because everyone knows each other and actually hangs out together. So, this more formal like...no it's not just a bbq and you can't just decide to show up last minute and yes there is a seating chart thing....very unusual for this group. And my Mom is so uncomfortable telling people that the RSVP's are closed and I'm like, "send them to me, direct them to me and I will tell them."
How are other people dealing with the later comer rsvp changes? Do you just...roll with it?
