Hello everyone. I'm sorry, I've not been on in quite a while! The stress from Covid, now the stress of our littles going back to school full time in person, on top of reaching the end of the line on the wedding planning (less than 6 months to go now - just have to pay for everything), followed by the transmission going out on our vehicle (we just bought out the lease in May 
)...I'm mentally exhausted.
My girls are 7 and 10 and ADORE FH. They chose to call him Dad. They refer to their father as Daddy (he passed away almost 5 years ago). The girls asked us about what happens when we get married. They know my last name will change, and they want their last names to change, too. My 10 year old believes that her last name doesn't define who she is or where she comes from, and likes to point out that it will change again someday, but while they're still going to have to finish growing up in our household, they want the same last name. FH wants to adopt them legally and they want that, too. I've told all of them to think on that for a while, we don't need to make a decision today, but they are all set that they want it to happen.
I'm grateful they all love each other and want it to be "official". My cousin lost her husband to a brain tumor and then lost her (his) kids and their home very shortly after because she had no legal right to continue raising them and he had not re-written his will before he passed, so his parents were given legal guardianship and instructed to sell the house to provide funds for the kids' futures. I would hope and pray I would be allowed to raise my girls and hold my grandchildren, even great grandchildren, some day, but if something happened to me before the girls were both grown, I can't stomach the idea of them being taken away from another parent and losing their home after already losing their daddy and (for any of this to happen) having lost me.
It's important to note my late husband's mother, father, and oldest sister are coming to our wedding and will be keeping the girls while we're on our honeymoon for a week. They have been my family since I was 19 - so almost 18 years! They are more family to me than my own father. Mom called me night before last upset because the girls told their grandpa about the adoption conversation - not upset because it could happen, but because I didn't discuss it with her. I explained that I wasn't discussing it with anyone because I don't want the girls to feel pressure in any direction on it, and I want them to have time to be sure of how they feel. That they were so happy telling their grandpa all about it and that they are so comfortable in this household and family warmed their grandparents' hearts, but their grandma said she was caught off guard and she said some hurtful things to me which she later took back and apologized for.
So anyway, it's been really stressful over here...hope you're all doing well. 
As far as the wedding goes, FH was measured for his tux and all the women in the wedding have ordered their dresses 
now if I could just sleep so I'm not a zombie all day...
